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Sean Penn and El Chapo Muy Simpatico (VIDEO)

Rolling Stone magazine which occasionally makes up stories for shits and giggles sent actor, activist, and ageless angry dickweed Sean Penn into the jungles of Mexico for a secret interview with escaped Sinaloa drug lord, El Chapo. Penn was directed to El Chapo in hiding by a Mexican telenovela actress because he gets a surprising amount of top notch pussy for an old dude with a chin beard. Rolling Stone was probably...read more

El Chapo Ha Sido Detenido

You know shit has gone down when Presidents Tweet. Obama mostly trolls chicks and fat shames Amy Schumer. Mexican President Enrique Nieto announced he'd recaptured escaped drug kingpin El Chapo. He said 'we' actually so maybe like he and some other guy did it. My Spanish is actually pretty poor. It's possible his Tweet says they had lunch together and discussed how much it would take to get him in a prison with...read more

El Chapo Takes on ISIS

While American political leadership is baking Halal cookies for ISIS, one man stands super short above the fray determined to fight terror with terror. El Chapo. The recently escaped or possibly just-let-go Sinaloa drug cartel leader sent an open letter to ISIS insisting he's going to blast the Islamic terrorists direct to Allah if they ever mess with his drugs again. In a weird bout of relativist morality, ISIS...read more

Mexican Drug Lord Calls Trump a Faggot

Sinaloa drug cartel little jefe El Chapo escaped once again from prison in Mexico. Escaped seems like an overstatement since the Mexican army corps of engineers dug him a mile-longindustrial grade tunnel to leisurely walkhim away from the facility.The second thing El Chapo did after fucking tons of chicks and drinking tequila through the nostrils of his decapitated enemies was to Tweet Donald Trump and call him a...read more

Zero Dark Pedo Mustache

I thought I was pissed about that waffle taco, but when I surveyed my true feelings, the Mexi-thing that was making me mad was this manhunt for Joaquín Guzmán Loera, aka El Chapo aka Shorty the drug kingpin of Sinaloa. Just look at this bad-ass. Forget Bin Laden, this Denny's fry cook looking bastard has been killing thousands of Americans by forcing them to snort piles of cocaine. Without El Chapo, Lamar Odom is...read more