Elle Macpherson Married the Dude Who Might’ve Slept With Gwyneth Paltrow and Also Killed a Man (Not at the Same Time)

By Lex December 24, 2013 @ 4:48 PM

Elle Macpherson And Jeffrey Soffer Out In Aspen
Billionaires are really fucking busy people. I don’t know any personally, but I’m just guessing they have crowded calendars. First, they have to make a billion dollars. That has to take a little time. If you’re this real estate mogul, Jeffrey Soffer, you’ve got to marry Elle Macpherson, and that isn’t happening without a little time and effort, even if you’ve got a billion dollars. You also need to find time to bang Gwyneth Paltrow behind Gay Beethoven’s back and pretend you know how to fly a helicopter when you don’t even if you wind up killing your best friend. That last part is the claim of the dead buddy’s wife, Daria Valdez. She says Soffer was training to be a helicopter pilot, you know, like billionaires do, but wasn’t licensed or ready to fly really yet. Daria claims Soffer was flying her husband and the real helicopter pilot recklessly low to show off his yacht and estate in the Bahamas. That’s so billionaire. A gust of wind caught the helicopter and Soffer lost control and crashed, killing his best friend. Soffer fled the country during the investigation, maybe paid the real helicopter pilot to say he was at the controls, then offered the widow $2 million to shut the fuck up. He even had Elle Macpherson call their mutual socialite friends urging the widow to take the buyout. But she didn’t. She’s suing for $100 million so she can be a mega-millionaire, even knowing that won’t get her in the billionaire club where Jeffrey and Elle are laughing about all the people they can’t wait to kill.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Elle Macpherson is a Freak of Nature

By Travis December 06, 2013 @ 12:00 PM

Here’s Elle Macpherson arriving at Art Basel at the Miami Beach Convention Center with her husband, Jeffrey Soffer, and the only thing that’s really important here is that she is 49 years old. What’s the big deal? A lot of women are 49 years old, right? Sure, but if you picked several 49 year old women at random from a shopping mall in Kansas and asked them to stand right next to Elle, they’d look at least 70 if they didn’t suddenly drop dead on the spot. I’m not saying that Elle Macpherson is a witch or routinely bathing in the blood of babies, but her looking the same now as she did 10 years ago is supernatural and needs to be investigated by the pope.

Photo Credits: WENN.com

Elle Macpherson Is Marrying For The Second Time

By Travis March 12, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Elle Macpherson will turn 49 later this month, which is remarkable because she still looks as hot as she did when she was in her 30s. It has to be something in the water specific to Australia, because New Zealand’s Rachel Hunter is younger than Elle and looks like she sleeps in a pile of dirty laundry every night. And that’s probably why Elle (pictured with someone she isn’t marrying) is still able to snag younger billionaires, because she’s now engaged to 43-year old hotel heir Jeffrey Soffer.

Elle Macpherson and Jeffrey Soffer dated for two years before breaking up last March.

Now, one year later, the pair is not only back together, they’re engaged!

A source tells Access Hollywood that Elle and the billionaire Miami-based real estate developer are set to wed.

The Australian supermodel, 49, will move to Florida to be with her fiance. (Access Hollywood)

Word is that Elle and Jeffrey rekindled their romance only after he’d been injured in a helicopter crash, which is a brilliant move by the former supermodel. It’s a lot easier to fake an overdose when her husband is taking serious prescription pain medication for his wounded back. Once Jeffrey’s out of the picture, her and Rachel can take all of his money and run off on their own lesbian Thelma and Louise adventure, because they may be old but every one of us would still watch the hell out of that.

(Photo Credit: WENN)

Elle Macpherson may or may not still have it

By brendon July 11, 2012 @ 5:22 PM

elle_macpherson_bikini_boat_ibiza

It’s not as if Elle Macpherson was posing for these pictures today in Ibiza, Spain, and they catch nothing but unflattering angles, so it seems unfair to judge how she looks in a bikini based on just this. More importantly, it seems like whatever this tool is that she’s using to eat sea urchins straight out of the water could also be used to chop my penis off, and that’s another excellent reason not to say anything mean.

(image source = splash, fame/flynet)

Elle Macpherson went surfing

By brendon December 29, 2011 @ 1:41 PM

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Elle Macpherson went surfing earlier today in Byron Bay in Sydney, and even though she’s 47 she still looked good enough that if these included pictures of her emerging from the depths on a seahorse and saying she was princess of the ocean, it wouldn’t seem completely unreasonable.

(image source = inf)

I wish I could see what Elle Macpherson sees

By brendon February 25, 2011 @ 1:52 PM

Elle Macpherson Sunbathing On A Yacht With Friends (USA ONLY)

Elle Macpherson, who is 46 by the way, spent a sexy afternoon on a yacht leaving Sydney Harbour yesterday, lounging around in a tiny white bikini, with one of her hot friends molesting her ass and at one point just shamelessly admiring her kitty. Which seems reasonable. God I wish she had been the one with a camera right then.

(image source = flynet and splash news online)