By Lex August 02, 2013 @ 4:29 PM
The Oscars pick their host these days like my friend Jeff finds women. He gets super loaded and makes a lot of bad decisions. I’m not sure how many beers it takes before you fall in love with Ellen, I think for Portia de Rossi it took about fifty million dollars worth. Fuck it, nobody hates Ellen and she fits the tuxedo. Good choice, Oscars.
Photo Credit: Getty
By Lex May 24, 2013 @ 12:44 PM
There was this guy in my circle of friends, he used to hang out at the bars, get lucky with the ladies every now and then, until one day up and told everybody he was moving in with some older man. He declared himself gay, packed his few material goods, and moved into this swank palace of a place where he still watches all his sports, drinks his beer, doesn’t seem to work much, and, yeah, once a week or so he probably doinks this guy in the rectum and calls him by some effeminate version of his real name. I’ve read enough Anderson Cooper articles to know that being gay isn’t a choice. But what I also know is that if you’ve got to make a choice, choose somebody with a nice fat bank roll who can support your lifestyle. Like Portia de Rossi. Yeah, she has to snarfle Ellen’s mannish wet spot on occasion to keep the high life rolling, but check out this new $25 million pad Ellen just bought the pair of them in Montecito. We’re all whores, the only question is what do we get in the bargain.
By brendon December 14, 2011 @ 12:29 PM
The last time Lindsay Lohan was on a talk show was back in April, when she told Jay Leno the same stuff she always says; that she wants to be more professional and responsible and that she’s not the dipshit party girl everyone thinks she is.
The next time Lindsay Lohan was supposed to be on a talk show was yesterday, with Ellen DeGenneres, but she went to some parties in Hawaii instead then skipped her flight back without even bothering to call them.
Lindsay Lohan bailed on her scheduled “Ellen DeGeneres Show” taping on Tuesday.
Gossip Cop has learned the actress did NOT board her flight from Hawaii to Los Angeles.
“Not a call or an apology from Lindsay,” a show insider tells us.
The show, a contractually obligated promotional appearance for her Playboy cover, was scheduled two months ago.
Yeah so it turns out that TV shows have a set schedule that they stick to. Pretty surprising, huh. This isn’t like an abortion Lindsay, you cant just reschedule it for tomorrow.
(image source = akm)
By brendon December 07, 2011 @ 4:43 PM
In her 5th “first interview since getting out of jail”, Lindsay Lohan will unveil her issue of Playboy on ‘The Ellen DeGeneres Show’ on December 15th, about a week before the magazine goes on sale. It sounds sexy already!
“The pictorial is absolutely fantastic and very tasteful, and will be accompanied by an interview that will let readers see another side of Lindsay,” her rep said.
In other words the pictures will be boring and the interview will be a pack of lies. It’ll be Lindsay lighting a candle while white hair extensions hide her tits above a quote saying she gets visits from the Angel Moroni. “The first time the angel was all, ‘you’re doing great Lindsay, no drugs or nothin, why is that judge such a cunt for no reason you didn’t even do anything’, and I was like, ‘I know right! I been saying that the whole time Macaroni Angel but everyone is all like nu-uh Lindsay you’re lyin’.”
(image source = fame)
By brendon November 11, 2010 @ 4:22 PM
There are 30 different adaptations of Dancing With The Stars around the world, and last week the Israeli version was the first to feature a same-sex couple when they paired up Gili Shem Tov, a gay TV sportscaster, and Dorit Milman, a not gay professional dancer. And yes those are girls (video).
The next country to do it might be the US of motherfuckin A bitches, and even though it’s a dumb idea, we’re gonna have an actual big star do it. Suck on that, Israel!
Portia DeGeneres could be the first celebrity to dance with a same-sex partner on “Dancing With the Stars.”
The hit competition series is “planning to feature a same-sex couple. You’re at the top of the list,”Ryan Seacrest told Portia (who changed her last name from de Rossi to DeGeneres) on his radio show yesterday.
The proclamation seemed to surprise DeGeneres, who is married to talk show host Ellen DeGeneres. “Goodness, you really do break news,” she said.
Rather than flat out pass, DeGeneres said, “I’m not gonna pass, let me think about it. I used to be a ballet dancer. It’s not completely a pass. You never know.”
Ooo-la-la! Two ladies doing the rumba! Do I have to ride my penny farthing down to the boardwalk or will this be on the television set?
Jesus, what a dumb idea. She should say no. It’s exploitative but still pointless. If I want to watch to girls rub on each other, and I do, I’m not watching this crap.
By brendon July 30, 2010 @ 11:24 AM
Bored indifference is sweeping the nation today because there’s been a series of reports, breaking one after another, about the new judges panel for American Idol.
First Ellen DeGeneres announced on her twitter she was leaving after just one year, then Kara DioGuardi was fired so the show could go back to the original format of 3 judges instead of 4, then Deadline Hollywood announced Jennifer Lopez has been hired, then they said Steven Tyler had been offered the final spot to join Lopez and Randy Jackson.
In other words the show will still suck and rarely ever succeed at its stated goal, and now it’s gonna look even weirder. A fat black guy, and old man, and a Puerto Rican girl in skin tight outfits. They’re gonna look like a sci-fi tribunal. They could critique bad singing or sentence General Zod to the Phantom Zone. Either one.