It’s hard to miss the joy in Ellen Pages’s face since finally told the last three people in the world that didn’t know that she was gay that she is gay. It’s not just the emotional weight off the shoulders, it’s the ability to dress up like a grumpy middle aged man and walk your bitch around The Grove because she wants to do some shopping. You’d rather be drinking a brew and watching LeBron, but you’re lady needs some tampons and a new blouse or some such shit. Welcome to the fold, Ellen. You have no idea how awesome this man’s life is.
Ellen DeGeneres invited Ellen Page on her show to tell how how brave she was for her coming out publicly as a lesbian to the big annual coming out publicly as a lesbian gathering in Los Angeles earlier this year. Then Ellen Page told Ellen DeGeneres that her coming out a long while ago was so much more brave than her own albeit brave coming out announcement and paved the pathway for tons of lesbians to be lesbians. Then Ellen DeGeneres said no way, you coming out was so much more awesome than mine because yours was also on YouTube. So Ellen Page said quit it, you’re the most bestest lesbian who ever came out ever. Then two laughed about their careers being ruined and exchanged an extended open mouthed kiss as only two women completely freed of their oppressive cultural shackles can. I’m pretty sure that happened. I really had to stop watching.
That didn’t take long. Just weeks after her heroic coming out of the closet speech before an assembled crowd of people who go apeshit crazy when people come out of the closet, Ellen Page is dressed like Tom Joad with ironic messaged baseball caps. Straight out of the butch handbook. I’ve got the handbook, it’s page 47, right after pinky rings and vintage bowling shirts. To make sure the paparazzi didn’t notice her when out on the town, Ellen brought out Kate Mara, who had an infamous girl-girl romance on the last season of House of Cards. Kate’s not really gay herself, though she did date Justin Long which is really close. Kate was one of the first in Hollywood to support Ellen Pages’s heroic coming out of the closet. She was quickly followed in her support by every other person in Hollywood. Still, as a gay celebrity Ellen was honor bound to find one small minded weird guy who told her she was going to hell and tee him up in a public response:
Nailed him. Way to go, Ellen Page. You’re starting to fit right into this role.
Tomboyish actress Ellen Page came out as a lesbian at a gay rights conference to a large group of gay activists who really could have gone either way after her announcement. But Ellen faced the potential fallout with the heroism of a woman who loves other women and thinks dicks are really kind of grody. But this was only the tip of the iceberg for Ellen who now faces a backlash in an industry only moderately to mostly controlled by a gay and gay-friendly power structure. Just surviving the tons of positive and triumphant accolades on social media was probably something Ellen was not prepared to deal with after her announcement. But she faced it like the brave lesbian she is, now, openly. We throw the word ‘hero’ out so easily in our society. Soldiers who sacrifice themselves for their platoon mates. First responders who charge into fiery breach. Teachers who stick out dysfunctional and dangerous schools to save some of the highest risk children in our society. But when you compare that to Ellen Page announcing she likes other chicks, it all seems to pale by comparison.
Who knows what horror Ellen Page faces going forward in Hollywood. How the industry and social castes will chew her up and spit her out, beat her down, and make her life a living hell, this seems all but certain. Show business is not kind to the gays. May God be with you, Ellen Page.