By Lex May 01, 2015 @ 11:43 AM
When Victoria’s Secret declared they were making a big announcement, three thousand ragamuffins rose from their rickety seats in Myanmar, stood on their sewing tables, and collectively cheered, ‘We are free!’. Then Victoria’s Secret came out with the news they had a new team of Angels and the kids in Myanmar quickly took their seats to the sting of the electric shocks in their ani that keep them working at a measured pace. Still, this is very good news for the rest of us named Leonard DiCaprio.
Photo Credit: WWTDD Archives/Victoria’s Secret
By Lex April 29, 2015 @ 8:26 AM
Two questions come to mind. Why is this Swedish chick topless and why does she look so forlorn? The first one is moot. If you have to instruct a girl to fake emotionally wounded, you’ve not trained her well. Remember when everyone at sewing camp found out that your mormor consorted with Nazi occupiers? I know, that was a proud day. Now imagine you had a Jewish friend and how they would’ve felt finding out. That’s it. Hold that look.
Photo Credit: Matthew Sprout
By Lex March 05, 2015 @ 9:49 AM
If I was driving a fast moving train and the track was blocked and I had to choose to either veer left and run over my own mother or veer right and take out this Swedish chick, I’d take out this Swedish chick. You don’t run over your own mother. I’m not a mindless beast. Though I would still try to bang the Swedish chick afterward assuming she wasn’t in too many pieces. Fuck, I hope she’s not Curt Schilling’ niece. I’m probably already dead.
Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret
By Lex February 19, 2015 @ 10:20 AM
It’s hard to define that moment when you know you’ve arrived in your profession. For a Victoria’s Secret model it might just be that time you were crawling topless across the sand on all fours. The precise event might vary in your profession. Ask first before you try this. Especially if you work with mating age animals or children.
Photo Credit: INF
By Lex December 22, 2014 @ 11:30 AM
I admire photographers who take a great deal of time and effort into composing complicated productions. Water is the universal symbol of life and rebirth. Topless Swedish chicks in water are the universal symbol of uncomfortable erections. It’s all in the Farmer’s Almanac somewhere next to where it predicts rain on Hilary Clinton’s swearing in ceremony.
Photo Credit: Chadwick Tyler