Esquire magazine named Emilia Clarke the sexiest woman alive in 2015. Quite coincidentally, the Game of Thrones star had previously agreed to do an extensive interview, video, and promotional rounds for the magazine. She’s a good enough looking lady with applause worthy tits. This isn’t the same farce as when the Steak and Shake guy bought Maxim for eleven dinar and named Miley Cyrus the best looking woman in the universe. As the magazine for self-satisfied men with hair product and a Barney’s card, Esquire took their time in crafting a selection that was attractive, yet not so in your face that men on the down low would reveal themselves with a revulsive sigh. Job well done. Now, about that perfect timepiece for my college reunion outfit?
I don’t trust any man who tucks in his shirt without being ordered to do so by a referee. Being a slob doesn’t make you manly though being fussy and highly thoughtful over your wardrobe is dangerously akin to kneeling before a glory hole. Fashionable men do draw the attention of women, but the correlation between dressing GQ and getting laid isn’t nearly as direct as having a fat bank account, or driving a high end foreign sports cars, or kidnapping defenseless older or impaired women and bringing them back to your rape dungeon.
The GQ Awards invited a bunch of half naked female models and celebrities so the event felt less like a giant sausage fest of super well dressed sausages. Yes, of course I love women and tits, oh, boy, do I love tits, is that Armani you’re wearing? Fabulous shoes. Where are the women and their tits again? I can’t stop staring and wanting to fuck them all the time. Tell me that suit’s not vintage? Fuck, who has an e-cigarette? My cover is blown.
Photo Credit: Getty
According to a poll of readers from AskMen.com, my go to source for prostate health and watch buying tips, Emilia Clarke is the most desirable woman in the world. There’s no possible way to win the list game on the Internet, but picking the okay looking chick from Game of Thrones is like giving up. It’s not even as cynical as Maxim picking Miley Cyrus because goofy looking tomboys SEO well. It’s time for this top hottest girls thing to come to an end. I know it represents 95% of all your traffic for the year, because men don’t actually care all that much about prostates and watches, but either make a comprehensive list called 10,000 Girls I’ve Imagined Gobbling My Knob or just go back to best adventure vacation options for thrill seeking dudes. Fuck, there’s Miley Cyrus again on the AskMen most desirable women list. I guess Brooklyn Decker’s monthly discharge was unavailable.
Photo Credit: GQ
Seth MacFarlane has built a ridiculously successful TV empire ever since FOX told him to do whatever the hell he wants with Family Guy and American Dad, so it’s only natural that he’s been able to parlay that into sleeping with a ton of attractive young actresses. Among them, Eliza Dushku, Amanda Bynes, Ashley Greene, Alexis Knapp and Alexandra Breckenridge, to name a few, so he’s clearly living the American dream of being insanely wealthy and dating way out of his league.
Seth’s latest girlfriend was Game of Thrones star Emilia Clarke, but she must have farted in bed or something, because he’s done with her now, too.
E! News has learned that the 39-year-old Family Guy funnyman and the 25-year-old actress have parted ways.
“They are no longer dating,” a source tells E! News. “It was really a location challenge. She has been in Europe shooting Game of Thrones and he is based in California, so it was hard to make it work despite the distance. They have remained friends.” (E!)
Emilia sure put on a brave face at the Game of Thrones season 3 premiere on Monday night in Los Angeles. She’s young and will certainly bounce back from this short relationship, but being rejected still stings. So maybe she can actually train a baby dragon to grow up and attack for her at will, and it can destroy Seth with a single breath of fire.
Because otherwise he’s going to keep making those Family Guy Stars Wars parodies and, Jesus, enough already.
(Photo Credits: Getty)