By Lex January 14, 2016 @ 9:46 AM
It’s that time of year when Sports Illustrated exploits the H1-B visa program to import Mumbai’s finest Photoshoppers for four weeks solid dedicated thigh gap and nipple erasure work. The Swimsuit Edition has gone from a novelty piece to the single most important content and sales component of SI’s entire business model. Once in a while they’ll throw in a story on A-Rod to remind you they cover sports and also how much you hate A-Rod. The Time, Inc. family friendly hypocrisy is pretty annoying. So is the erasing the nipples bit. But for the most part if you’re not selling gaming and gambling online, you’re going to need tits to survive. There’s no shame in selling sex. Only in giving it away for free.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Lex May 19, 2014 @ 4:09 PM
Nothing says buy my fucking perfume quite like a topless model. That’s what I want to smell like. Foundation and bronzer and tits. Take that fresh meadow and lavender, you’ll always be just doucehy smelling Febreze scents. I want people to sniff my stink and think about Emily DiDonato with an aloe plant wrapped around her yaboos. Armani does not fuck around with the sex sells mantra, they go head first into naked men and women and occasionally boys and girls depending on prevailing statute. People will buy into anything that reeks of youthful sex. You can’t fight nature, you can only hope to smell like its perfect looking tits.
By Lex May 13, 2014 @ 4:53 PM
I like the New York Italian girls. I have a thing for girls who can pull off low self-esteem and extreme self-confidence at the exact same time. I dislike when wardrobe assistants strap lots of accessories around girls in bikini shoots so the six other people working on the shoots can pretend to have jobs. I want to see a girl in a bikini. Do I need a camera and the amulets of Isis and a half-dozen Swatch watches. Not unless I’m exorcising my seminal demons to Madonna when she was young and less annoying.
Photo Credit: H&M
By Lex April 15, 2014 @ 3:35 PM
I really like this Italian girl from New York. I admire her sense of fashion. Who knew Florida State defensive back wear from the 80′s would make a return. Emily reminds me of a girl I used to date though my girl was a stone or three larger and had a beard problem that no laser technology at the time could properly mitigate. I had to break it off after a series of night terrors that I was being blown by Harry Knowles. Love is fickle like that.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Lex March 28, 2014 @ 4:59 PM
If you’ve never dated an Italian girl from New York, I’d highly recommend it. You’ve never really lived until you’ve had a girl crying while rabbit punching you and telling you she doesn’t trust you while ordering you to shut up so she can orgasm. It’s an emotional roller coaster. Not necessarily the screaming fun kind where you get back in line the minute you get off. More the one where you get stuck upside down in the top of the loop and they rush in with cranes to save you before too many more kids plummet fifty feet into the moorings. I’d probably break my oath never to try that again for Emily Didonato. Her boobs seem pretty stable.
Photo Credit: Vamp Magazine