KIM KARDASHIAN - had a drink thrown on her in a bar in New York last night by the girlfriend of a guy who asked to take a picture with her. “That would be a good way to get free drinks,” thought Lindsay Lohan when she heard the news. (LA Times)
JOHNNY DEPP - surprised a little girl who wrote him a letter yesterday, and now there’s video. But it turns out he’s not as perfect as I thought he was. Turns out his parents divorced when he was 15. Probably because of something he did. Makes you wonder what else this sicko is hiding. (youtube)
READERS ON TWITTER - Walter wrote: “My friend recommended your site. Dont knwo why. Complete waste of my time.” Well why are you telling me? What am I, your biographer, I don’t give a fuck if you didn’t like it. (twitter)
EMMA WATSON - and her weird ass walked around Browns campus today in Rhode Island, all part of her war against being attractive. When exactly did she start looking like a young Sherlock Holmes. (inf)
Emma Watson is back in Rhode Island to begin her second year at Brown, and though her dykey hair cut is repulsive (it’s Daniel Tosh with tits), I would still have sex with her because she’s Hermione. How can you not bang Hermione? If we were in class together, I’d be all like, “Hey. Hey Hermione. So you like magic wands, huh? You like those? Magic wands? Yeah, well I got a magic wand for you right here baby.” And then I’d point to my crotch just in case she didn’t get it. And then she’d get all turned on and we’d do it.
NOTE: the “magic wand” is my penis
(image source = inf daily)
LAURENCE FISHBURNE - made an offer to Vivid to buy every copy of his daughters first porn movie. What a pervert! One copy wasn’t enough, you sicko? (tmz)
MONTANA FISHBURNE - says she’s always wanted to do porn. “I am not in porn to get into acting. I am in porn because I wanted to be in porn.” Dreams really do come true! (people, blurry but very NSFW dvd back cover here)
PAULA ABDUL - will not be returning to American Idol as a judge, because of her new exclusive contract with CBS to produce their version of the U.K. show ‘Got To Dance’. It will be like the dance acts on Americas Got Talent, the twist being this will have a judge who cries and drunkenly slurs incoherent nonsense that’s unrelated to what just happened on stage. (e!)
EMMA WATSON - chopped all her hair off, so good news for everyone who always like Emma Watson but wished she looked more “dykey” (flynet)
Hermione attended the Costume Institute Gala Monday night in New York, and she looked all grown up in a sexy gown cut to show off her legs. And while we’re on the topic of splitting things up the middle and slots between a girls legs, I sure would like to fuck Emma Watson.
NICK HOGAN - is mostly famous for driving like an reckless asshole, and Saturday night he “was involved in a minor car accident in Los Angeles.” No one was hurt and no police reports were taken, so no specifics are known, but maybe a little torture will loosen his tongue. (the ap)
ALEC BALDWIN - is retiring from Hollywood. In about three years. “I don’t have any interest in acting anymore. Movies are part of my past. It’s been 30 years. I’m not young, but I have time to do something else.” Some are saying he could have a second career in politics. His only hurdle will be that he has no idea what the fuck he’s talking about. (e! online)
JAKE GYLLENHAAL - has not broken up with Reese Witherspoon, despite the rumor this weekend that he had. I was sitting at a red light and saw Jake standing there, so I rolled down my window and asked him for a comment, but all he said was, “hey man wanna party?” Then he pushed his tongue against his cheek and made a handjob gesture. No sir I do not “wanna party”, thank you very much! (access hollywood)
EMMA WATSON - was in Jamaica this weekend, and to be honest Hermione didn’t look very happy. Hopefully me hitting on her and telling her, “she’s cast a spell on my magic wand” will cheer her up, because I was planning on doing that anyway. (splash news online)
“Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince” opened yesterday and banked $58.4 million on it’s first day, narrowly missing the all time one day record of 62M set by “Transformers” a few weeks ago. “Potter” did however break the all time midnight release record, bringing in 22.8M in the first showing on over 3000 screens. That also broke the record for Most Number Of Thrilled Burglars Waiting Outside The Big Family Neighborhoods.
(hq jump to the pictures of Hermione and that dress that refused to stay on last week = here. source = splash news online)
