no one has any idea who the new American Idol judges are

By brendon August 21, 2012 @ 3:41 PM

mariah_carey_the_butler_new_orleans

Despite Us magazine saying Nicki Minaj is all set to be a judge on ‘American Idol’, apparently it’s not all set, nothing is all set, and no one even knows how many judges there will be, much less who they are.

The Hollywood Reporter says a four person panel with Carey, Minaj, country star Keith Urban and Latin, um, person Enrique Iglesias is a very likely scenario, People mentions Minaj, Iglesias and Nick Jonas, while TMZ is now reporting that Kanye West has been approached too. But he would cost at least as much as Carey, which is $18 million a season.

Oh and Carey reportedly threw a hissy fit yesterday about Minaj because she doesn’t want to share the spotlight with another girl. Meaning Minaj is no lock.

So the only thing we know for sure is that ‘Idol’ wants big stars, because those cost the most money and almost definitely have nothing interesting to say. That’s clearly the best way to make a TV show. “Sure the show was boring,” Fox executives will say. “But at least we threw away lots of money on it.”

(image source of carey filming ‘the butler’ in new orleans today = fame/flynet)

ENRIQUE IGLESIAS HAS A BABY DICK

By brendon August 25, 2007 @ 10:21 AM

Enrique Iglesias (he's the one with the mole and chin pubes, not the one banging JLo) is reportedly being offered condom endorsements after coming clean about his ferret cock to Ok! and Esquire.

Enrique Iglesias is making waves by admitting to Esquire magazine that he "can never find extra-small condoms," the singer first opened up about his meager manhood in the pages of OK!. In an interview from the June 4 edition of OK!, Enrique confesses, with a laugh, that the one part of his body he wished he could change is his "wiener. It's way, way, way too small."

He knows what he's doing; calling it a "wiener" is sure to set many panties adrip.  Pretty much any Jewish name works.  I call mine "Goldstein".  

When you think about it, this is actually a wise strategy.  If you're a famous guy, what kind of a girl do you want to attract: the kind that needs a man who's hung like a billy goat, or the kind whose queefs can only be heard by dogs?  If he'd said he was packing, he'd attract the worst kind of groupies.  "Finally, a real man!  All those other losers were pretty much just slapping the sides. Tell you what, it takes a big plane to fill this hangar."

No, he's smart.  He's trying to attract the kind of woman who's been doing her Kegel exercises.  The kind of woman with what doctors call "a child's vagina."  That's all any man wants, really. As for me, my manhood has been described as "Substantial, but not unapproachable." -LM



Enrique Iglesias has a really pretty voice

By brendon September 25, 2006 @ 4:08 AM

 

This is Enrique Iglesias on a music video set, singing into a hot mic that he didn’t know was being recorded. It's not clear if this is real, it is clear that it's 100 percent awesome. The dudes voice is so tranquil and soothing, I think I just fell in love.  So be warned, only open this if you’re ready to hear the sexiest music ever.  You might wanna lay some pillows on the floor around you before his seductive voice makes you swoon and faint.

(and yes, this is not new.  but it is fantastic)