Erin Andrews Emotionally Broken

By Matt May 13, 2015 @ 7:35 AM

ANDREWS

Erin Andrews appeared repulsed when double amputee and war veteran Noah Galloway proposed to his girlfriend on Dancing With The Stars. It sucks when you’re upstaged by the stars of the pretend reality show you’re hosting. It was always super annoying when Tom Brady threw those touchdown passes which really distracted from your brilliant four second quips. Nice tits though. After everyone watching the show started booing Andrews she took to Twitter to clarify she was trying not to cry and actually has human emotions:

“uhhhhh it’s called an oh great I’m going to bawl on camera… ugly cry face alert”

I’ve seen a lot of chicks crying. Mainly in amusement park concession areas but occasionally while overdressed on my couch if they have been feeling not pretty. As a professional broadcaster Andrews should be able to do better. She can’t, but she should be able to. The jury’s out on this one. I never give the benefit of the doubt to women with resting bitch face. It’s never worked out well. But, again, the tits. I don’t want to learn from my mistakes.

Photo Credit: ABC.com

Erin Andrews Feels the Cold Steel of Revenge

By Matt April 21, 2015 @ 8:04 AM

HEND

Two years ago professional attractive statue and cliche generator Erin Andrews mocked college basketball player Marshall Henderson because he failed a drug test. Henderson had a history with drugs and once tried to buy $800 of weed with counterfeit money, most likely somewhere near a 7-11. Like most addicts Henderson became a predicable disappointment you have to invite over for Thanksgiving. He was also known for showboating on the court, hence Andrew’s initial tweet two years ago read:

“He mocking anyone now?… Marshall Henderson’s suspension is related to a failed drug test.”

Henderson apparently chambered Andrew’s quote and vowed sweet Twitter revenge, because he immediately responded:

“ima save that and you will be the first person ill mock.”

Whatever makes the voices stop. After two years of masturbating to a dart board with Andrews’ face on it, Henderson finally got his revenge. Her boyfriend LA Kings player Jarrett Stoll was busted in Vegas for bringing rockstar party drugs into a pool party, which is apparently frowned upon now since America is going down the toilet. Henderson shot back right away since he’s been watching Rocky on loop to prepare for this moment:

“lol wassup with your boyfriend?!”

Henderson then visited his family grave site and told them they didn’t die in vain. He is currently playing pro basketball in Iraq which explains why he finds Twitter entertaining. Andrews is going to continue getting dicked down at the Hyatt and getting paid in the high six figures to work six minutes a night. Point Andrews. Is it hard to shoot free throws in a bullet proof vest?

Photo Credit: Twitter

Erin Andrews Dissed Again

By Matt July 24, 2014 @ 6:59 AM

Andrews

Boston radio host Kirk Minihane offered an apology to Erin Andrews for calling her a stupid gutless bitch after the MLB All Star Game. The apology quickly devolved into more ranting about Andrews :

“I used a word to reference Erin Andrews that I shouldn’t have used to reference Erin Andrews…  I think FOX only hired her because she’s good-looking. I think if she weighed 15 pounds more she’d be a waitress at Perkins.”

Suggesting FOX hires under qualified hot chicks to appear on camera is a simplification. They have to be able to complete a few sentences first and be familiar with TV production basics like not saying the word ‘cut’ when it appears on a teleprompter. Suggesting Andrews would work at Perkins if she were 15 pounds heavier is also offensive. She would need to gain at least 60 pounds for Perkins to consider her. Minihane could gain 200 pounds and continue his fickle tirade from his swivel chair without incident. His major beef with Andrews is she gets special treatment for being good looking, but is not unbelievably hot to where she has no business appearing on a job site. I’m all for equality, but I also prefer watching Erin Andrews report from the sideline over angry balding townies like Minihane. Having tits qualifies you for all kinds of shit. The day some dude drills a hole in a hotel room wall to spy on Minihane naked, we can re-open this discussion.

Photo Credit: Twitter 

Erin Andrews Failed Journalism

By Matt July 17, 2014 @ 10:28 AM

Boston radio slob Kurt Minihane went on a tirade against Erin Andrews because she failed the sacred trade of journalism by not asking hard hitting questions during the MLB All-Star game. During an in game interview Andrews asked Adam Wainwright if he threw Derek Jeter an easy pitch on purpose. It is widely known Derek Jeter is being afforded Kim Jong un style propaganda stunts by major league baseball, since he is retiring from slaying pussy after this year. The pitcher danced around the subject and Andrews let it go because there are wars going on and nobody should give a fuck. Minihane, who had just returned from a lunch of clam chowder and beating up queers took offense:

“I hate her! What a gutless bitch! Go away. Drop dead. I mean, seriously, what the hell is wrong with her? First of all, follow up. Second of all, the guy admitted he did it… Shut up. I’m sure she’s a nice person, but…  she’s probably a bitch. I hate her.”

Wishing death on someone for not going Watergate during an exhibition game where dudes jog seems harsh. Like Minihane, I also assume all women out of my league are complete bitches. It takes away from the gnawing voice in my head telling me to work out or approach them in public. Either way this seems like a classless move, although by Boston sports radio standards it ranks somewhere between daily advice on what roofies go best with Sam Adams and racial slurs to yell at Puerto Ricans to get them to punch you back.

Erin Andrews Lost the Gunt

By Lex March 20, 2013 @ 12:07 PM

I think I still like Erin Andrews, but I’m not sure. Ever since that dude cut a hole through a wall in the hotel and spied on her, I feel like maybe other people like her a lot more than I do. Then there was the period immediately afterward when she grew a bit of a gunt and started looking more like a traditional female-in-sports person. And then there’s the fact that she seems to be on five networks covering eighteen sports at any given time. Like Bob Costas back in the day, if Bob Costas were taller, and had tits. Still, checking out Erin at the iHeartRadio promotional event to remind people that you can listen to the radio on the Internet since 2002, I guess I’m leaning back into the iHeart Erin camp. Yeah, I know.

If your heart and moral compass so desire, you can still see Erin Andrews spied on while fixing her hair in the nude HERE. It is a porn site, so think about that before you click that link and complain about being taken to a porn site.

Photo credit: Getty Images / Splash News / WENN

the top 10 stories of 2009

By brendon January 01, 2010 @ 12:50 PM

10. KELLY BROOK IS PHOTOGENIC - this picture was the topic of some heated debate around the office while making the Top 100 list, with many feeling it should be the number 1 story of the year. Of course I’m the only one who works here, so it was mostly my penis taking a stand. Eventually we agreed on the Top 10. That’s the price of leadership. (May 20th)

9. PAULA ABDUL GOT FIRED FROM AMERICAN IDOL – because she was demanding a raise from 5 million to 20 million dollars a year. When they finished laughing several days later, the producers hired Ellen DeGeneres. Of course they could have trained a monkey to whack off in the corner and it still would have been more insightful than anything Paula had to say. Seacrest could say, “Thanks Simon, that’s a good point. What about you Masturbating Monkey, what did you think?” And they could cut to the monkey in the corner jacking off. They just have to be sure to not accidentally pan to Randy Jackson. I have to believe the NCAAP would have something to say about that. (August 5th)

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