Eva Mendes is on vacation in Italy this week, and she looks even hotter now than she did when we made our sex tape. And she looked amazing in our sex tape. When it came out, the Hollywood Reporter said, “Mendes is a stunner, breathtaking from start to finish … Brendon stumbles at first but displays noticeably increased confidence by the end … overall, a sexy romp that’s sure to delight and entertain. 4.5 stars”
(7 more pics here. hq jump here)
I’m extremely grateful to Italian Vogue for getting Eva Mendes to pose almost naked, but they still manage to make it all weird and less awesome than it should have been. For starters, they gave her a red afro in some of these. It's like I'm jacking off to the mayor of hamburger town. Gee thanks. Also they have a picture of her with her foot in her mouth. Here's the math on that: hot piece of ass + foot in her mouth = weirdo photographer. She’s a hot naked chick with big tits and dark perfect skin, like a sexy gypsy, casting a spell on my penis. This really shouldn’t have been so hard.
Various sources say today that not only has Eva Mendes gone to rehab for substance abuse, but she's already been there for a few weeks. What a big star! TMZ says:
We're told the "Ghost Rider" star is at the famous Cirque Lodge, near Sundance. The Lodge, which treated Lindsay Lohan and other stars, is one of the most respected treatment facilities in the country. Eva has been at Cirque for several weeks.
Eva Mendes has always seemed a little odd, so maybe she was just high the whole time. She always looks a little baked in her pictures, like she's trying to seduce you, starring into the camera like she's your secret lover. And hell, maybe she wants to be, who knows what passions are burning in her heart!
Despite constant denials that they’ve been dating for months now, Joaquin Phoenix and Eva Mendes were once again seen all over each other at a club in New York last week. The Daily News says:
(they) couldn't keep their hands off each other at Unik's party for Wyclef Jean at Gin Lane Thursday night. The pair, whose reps have both denied coupledom in the past, were making out like crazy, our Gin Lane spy reports. "They were holding hands under the table and kissing all night long."
God, you know Hollywood is a mans world when someone who looks like a totem pole gets to punch obsession worthy kitty like Eva Mendes. I do too, of course, but only because of my powerful kissing potion and my "ULTIMATE MIX: SUMMER '05" tape. John Legend, Kelly Clarkson, Lyfe Jennings - they're all here baby.
