Facebook Finds Gold at End of Gay Rainbows

According to the Daily Mail, a clickbait headline company with random words beneath, the Facebook rainbow flag option for profile pictures this past week may have been a cynicalpsychological test to supportMark Zuckerberg's plan to take over the world and eliminate tits forever. Following the SCOTUS affirmation of same sex marriages, twenty-five millions people with the bandwagon instincts of a Lakers fan utilized the...read more

Facebook Teleportation Is the Future

It's inevitable that Facebook will take over the world. I don't mind so much. There will be no nipples and you'll have photos of what everybody is eating for lunch, but finally we'll have a world where narcissists and lonely peopleare making all the rules. Facebook leaked out a number of their new big announcements for their annual Big Fucking Facebook Wow Now conference including something called Teleportation...read more

Emma Watson and Facebook Plain Speaking About Women

If you're like me, you celebrated International Women's Day by having no clue it was International Women's Day. I feel like I just put my books away from Black History Month. Special days come up on you fast. U.N. Global Ambassador for Vagina Matters, Emma Watson, tookcalls at Facebook HQ on gender inequality. They were going to take Facebook messages but nobody could figure out how that worked. Hermione went to...read more

Which Gender Do You Want to Be on Facebook?

Apparently, Facebook was forty-eight gender options short for new account creators who for the history of Facebook have been subjugated, nay, tormented, into choosing merely between male and female. Now, you can go with transgender woman, pre-op male, intersex, ambiguous sex, my parents put me in dresses but I like sports, minotaur furry, and any other number of anatomical self-identifications. Of course, Facebook...read more

Bono is not the worlds richest musician, will not make $1.5 billion today

In 2009, a private equity firm co-founded by Bono paid $90 million to buy 2.3 percent of Facebook, which has been valued at over $100 billion for their IPO today. And according to TMZ and Page Six, that means Bono will become the worlds richest musician by 4pm! ...the shares are now valued at $1.5 billion. Meanwhile, the former holder of the title of world's richest musician -- former Beatle Paul McCartney -- is worth...read more