Which Gender Do You Want to Be on Facebook?

By Lex February 14, 2014 @ 5:09 PM

Apparently, Facebook was forty-eight gender options short for new account creators who for the history of Facebook have been subjugated, nay, tormented, into choosing merely between male and female. Now, you can go with transgender woman, pre-op male, intersex, ambiguous sex, my parents put me in dresses but I like sports, minotaur furry, and any other number of anatomical self-identifications. Of course, Facebook never needed to know if you were a man or a woman in the first place. It’s a site to send pictures of your lunch salad to your friends and look up your old high school girlfriends to see if they got fat(ter). Your friends probably already know if you’re a dude or a girl. Facebook just uses the gender choice to collect more marketing data and sell you shit. Now, even their marketing algorithms are bowing to the pressures of the dick-vagina-confused lobby and letting account holders tell the entire Facebook world what kind of underpants feel most comfortable on a humid day. Also, you will now be allowed to post photos of women’s nipples on the site, provided they once belonged to a man.

Bono is not the worlds richest musician, will not make $1.5 billion today

By brendon May 18, 2012 @ 11:05 AM

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In 2009, a private equity firm co-founded by Bono paid $90 million to buy 2.3 percent of Facebook, which has been valued at over $100 billion for their IPO today.

And according to TMZ and Page Six, that means Bono will become the worlds richest musician by 4pm!

…the shares are now valued at $1.5 billion.
Meanwhile, the former holder of the title of world’s richest musician — former Beatle Paul McCartney — is worth just over $1 billion.

The only problem is none of that is true. As the Telegraph points out, there are 9 other managing directors of Bono’s equity firm, plus countless investors. Bono didn’t buy 2.3 percent of Facebook, the equity firm did.

Given that he has previously had a 10 per cent stake in other (firm) investments, Bono has probably made around $150 million today, and at least doubled his wealth. Prior to this, as one fifth of U2 (profits are split between the band and manager Paul McGuinness) Bono’s estimated wealth was in the region of $158 million.

Well fuck. This is some information I’d really like to have known before I went to all the trouble of kidnapping his wife. Now everything just feels awkward.