Mario Balotelli is one of those Euro soccer players whose name seems to come up with every ‘lingerie model knocked up’ or ‘hot reality star cheated on her husband with a famous athlete’ story. I guess that makes him successful. Fuck, I’d like to be twenty-three and already have a half-dozen sex scandals to my name. You don’t get in the tabloids for ‘blogger dumped by girlfriend for watching UFC and forgetting three month anniversary’. What the fuck is a three month anniversary? I think I need to make some changes. I should have a girlfriend of difficult to assess ethnic origin and easy to asses tits like this Fanny Neguesha chick. I’d promise not to giggle at her name being Fanny. Fuck, I’d let her punch me in the ball socket if I so much as smirked. I think we could be very happy together. At least until I found out she was pregnant by Mario Balotelli. That sly fucker.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, FameFlynet, Pacific Coast News