By Jack February 21, 2014 @ 1:41 PM
Vivid pornmeister president, Steve Hirsch, is calling out Farrah Abraham on her shit, (and not the residue kind on James Deen’s pecker). Farrah has been alleging lately that while she was shilling her pornographic opus Back Door Teen Mom, she was repeatedly drugged and raped. She’s been saying that to anyone who will listen along with claiming that porn ruined her life. This right before she released the sequel to her original butt lovin’ epic. Hirsch says that it’s all lies and that he’ll pay her a million dollars is she takes a polygraph and any of her allegations turn out to be true.
“This is exactly what I expected from Farrah. She’s a fraud. We know she loves money, but once she gets called out she’s afraid to respond. First you can’t stop the lies and then you can’t find her. She’s incapable of telling the truth.”
I’m certain that the upstanding folks that make porn would never drug and rape Farrah. Why would you have to go to the trouble when twenty bucks and some McNuggets for her kid who’s been locked in the car will suffice. I don’t blame her for buyer’s remorse. I guess that would be backdoor on camera remorse. Hey, the paycheck part seemed nice. But you can’t go around besmirching porn to help you cope. Porn is sacred. You might as well attack moms and apple pie. Or, moms shoving apple pies in their twats on PornTube. It’s all wholesome and American.
By Jack February 13, 2014 @ 1:28 PM
Farrah Abraham says that she doesn’t like the way people use sex for money and power and wants to remain a virgin forever. That seems like a rather lofty goal considering she’s been on camera having the ever living virginity banged out of her by a porn star. I’m so confused. Farrah told Life and Style magazine that she’s swearing off sex:
“People use sex for power and manipulation when sex is supposed to be enjoyable and great. I don’t feel that. I want to be a virgin forever — or a nun.”
All Farrah needs to make this happen is set up a few ground rules. Like, sex for money doesn’t count. Nor does blowing the casting director for a VH-1 reality TV show. Any sex that results in making a bastard baby also stays off the books. If the dude is black, it doesn’t count. If he brings a white friend, it might count, but only if the white dude goes first. Separate rules apply for larger multi-ethnic groups.
By Lex February 11, 2014 @ 4:54 PM
Porn isn’t much different than regular Hollywood. When something does well, there’s going to be a sequel. Backdoor Teen Mom Farrah Abraham swore all over her well-greased anus that she was done making porn. But, as of late tomorrow night, she’s got another one coming out. A sequel to her very private anal lovemaking tape with James Deen that mysteriously got leaked to the masturbating world against her will. Once more, Farrah is claiming this second tape, which actually is just unseen sex swing and orifice plunging scenes from the first one, is being released against her will and legal rights. Though her claims to such opposition seem to be in doubt. More importantly, the world is getting what it needs now more than ever. A young mother with a newly divulged sexual molestation past rocking back and forth on a swing while a dude with a spoofy porn name bangs her senseless. Don’t tell me there’s not a higher power watching over us.
Photo credit: Vivid
By Lex February 07, 2014 @ 1:33 PM
There was a day and age when you could trust a porn star. They had your back. Their word was their bond. When they said, today, I shall suck fifteen dicks, they didn’t suck fourteen dicks or sixteen dicks, they sucked fifteen. Because your reputation was everything. Farrah Abraham broke the sacred bond of porn star trust when she promised there’s no way in hell she was going to do another porn, then, cum, boom, splat, Vivid announces that Farrah is about to get fucked on a sex swing in Farrah 2: I Will Shove Shit in My Twat for Cash Money. How Farrah let another lovemaking session between herself and James Deen get released to the public remains a mystery. I’m quite certain she’s hurt and confused. But fucking upside down on a swing will do that to you.
By Lex January 21, 2014 @ 4:59 PM
Despite the high mortality rate among MTV reality show participants, it turns out they’re all martyrs in a just social cause. A new study by college economists who had nothing better to study shows that MTV’s Teen Mom show has helped expedite the decline in teen pregnancy rates in the U.S.. It turns out that showing a bunch of loose teen girls other horrific looking fat and stretched out broke-ass imprisoned teen baby mamas makes them want to get on the pill or go lesbian or tell their science teacher to start taking them unprotected in the ass to be super safe. Teen Mom is like young drivers watching Red Asphalt and deciding maybe they should drive more carefully. These impressionable young girls are thinking, yes, spreading my legs does make me feel wanted and special and loved like I am not at home, but do I really want to hiking a football through my porn-torn ass at 21 to turn a buck? Sorry, Varsity Men’s Basketball team, Jane the Train is staying home tonight.
Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News
By Jack January 08, 2014 @ 3:22 PM
America’s favorite backdoor done got paid mom Farrah Abraham says that her “sex tape” ruined her life. The star of that MTV show about loose teens said that doing the “sex tape” with James Deen led to all kinds of personal problems:
“It made it hard to have friends and a private life and to trust family, who I feel use me for money. If I went back in time, I would not have done it. The sex tape ruined my life! Knowing my sex tape was out there for everyone in the world to see … was overwhelming.”
You and your capable legal team sold that shit to one of the biggest porn companies in the world! What did you think was going happen? That a million people weren’t going to see James Deen plunge his dick in your dumper like he was trying to put out a fire? I can respect a porn star that is honest and says, “Look at me, I profit off fucking on camera, let’s go get some fro-yo.” But Farrah is just a hypocrite and a liar. Just last week she was accused of paying a dude to pretend to be her boyfriend so she could go on VH1′s Couple’s Therapy to keep her fame train going. Somebody needs to turn on Michael Jackson’s Man in the Mirror, turn play on her own ass to mouth porn tape, and then have a good cry. I’m talking to you, Tila Tequila.