By Jack October 28, 2013 @ 1:38 PM
Farrah Abraham once again proved that not everyone who has working genitals should be a parent. She appeared on inane reality star Bethenny Frankel’s show where she admitted that she waxes her 4-year-old daughter’s eyebrows. She apparently was getting fan mail, (who writes this bitch fan mail?), telling her that her kid’s eyebrows were out of control. So, she did what any sane mother would do and took a stranger’s opinion into greater consideration than her daughter’s health. An audience member called her on how disgusting a human jizz swamp she is and Farrah replied,
“I actually got a lot of fan mail from girls who were younger, who did have unibrows, and they only wished that their moms would have helped them.”
Really? It’s bad enough that this little girl has to grow up knowing that her mom turned to anal porn because she wanted new furniture. Does she really need to be made to look sexy at 4 years old? Are you worried that the pedophiles at the park will pass her over for the better groomed preschoolers? I guess it’s inevitable that her daughter will end up getting knocked up as a teenager like her mom. The first dude who tells her that he wants to run his dick through her furry brow will probably be the lucky cardholder.
By Lex October 22, 2013 @ 3:42 PM
You can only imagine the number of eligible men lining up to date a backdoor porn queen and single mom. Actually, probably a pretty long line for that first part. Including Brian Dawe. He’s a DJ, just like Paris Hilton and Wolfman Jack. He already survived ball cancer so he figured, why not double down on Karma by parking his junk inside of Backdoor Teen Mom.
I always tell people that having cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was scary, obviously, to go through something like that, but it taught me to appreciate my life and not take anything for granted. — DJ Brian Dawe
I admire Brian’s new found appreciation for making the minutes count. Since Farrah bills those minutes like an attorney, you don’t want to linger too long.
Photo Credit: PCN
By Jack October 03, 2013 @ 4:30 PM
We told you a while back that everyone’s (least) favorite back door teen mom Farrah Abraham posed for “Girls and Corpses” magazine. Though we have to wait until December for the full spread, the tasteful mag released the cover today. It’s a “clever” take on the classic painting “American Gothic” by Grant Wood. In this version Farrah plays the farmer’s wife and she seems to have impaled the farmer with a pitchfork. Whoopsy!
The magazine caters to perverts and Minority Reported future child murderers (no offense) that enjoy seeing pretty girls posing with rotting bodies. This spread will probably lead to a fan throwing Farrah in his trunk and driving away to the rape and mutilation shack his parents will later tell the police they still believed to be his personal art space. I see no obvious downside in this.
By Jack October 02, 2013 @ 1:53 PM
Remember how Farrah Abraham got 1.5 million for her “sex tape” with James Deen? Yeah, that was bullshit. Try more like $10,000. Farrah said that Vivid gave her the huge amount for her “leaked” tape that we know today as “Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom”. Sources in the adult industry say that there is no way Vivid paid that much for some flash in the pan reality star’s ass virginity. Maybe they’d pay that much for a video showing Sandra Bullock getting DVDA from George Clooney in his trailer on Gravity, but not for Farrah Abraham taking it up the pooper in a staged sex tape probably shot across the street from Vivid. Even $10K seems a bit high for an actress fee, considering you can have the real thing from Farrah for half that fee if you use your Amazon Local Anal Teen Mom offer.
By Jack September 24, 2013 @ 3:45 PM
Farrah Abraham, America’s favorite backdoor class act, is back to squeeze out some more money from her fleeting fame with a line of sex toys. The fake vagina and rubber tits were cast from molds taken of her actual lady bits. I’m not sure if there was a big call for this. I don’t know why someone who is in the market for a rubber vagina would pick Farrah Abraham’s over more established and attractive porn stars, but I’m not that well versed in the fake pussy industry. Farrah says in a video posted on Radar,
“Hey, so I think I’m taking sex symbol to a whole new level today. I’m at Topco, which is, like, the fourth biggest in the nation adult toy sales manufacturer So now I’m going to have a whole, like, sex line. People are going to jack off to me. This is crazy.”
I seem to recall that Farrah claimed that her now classic porno, Backdoor Teen Mom, was an amateur sex tape with porn superstar James Deen that somehow mysteriously was released into the world. I guess so that in her own mind she doesn’t seem like a dirty whore. How is she going to rationalize this sex toy line? Did they hypnotize her and force her to have a plaster mold made of her vag? I mostly feel sorry for is the poor people who work in some sweatshop in China whose job it is to make these Farrah Abraham vaginas. Can you imagine punching your fist through the low-end vinyl to create the Farrah crease 800 times a day? Yes, I know, your job seems much better now.
By Lex September 16, 2013 @ 4:02 PM
For Backdoor Teen Mom, bikini modeling isn’t just a passing hobby, it’s her full time day job. Her nights she spends more lucratively promoting the new Vivid Gentleman’s club in Miami and just getting to meet people. If you ask Farrah, she’ll tell you she’s doing it all for her daughter who is around there somewhere she remembers leaving her maybe at an aunt’s or a neighbors house or something. Hopefully one of Farrah’s strip club customers can slip her a Groupon for dredging the sights of her recent water shoots.
Photo Credit: Splash