Fernanda Uesler in a Bikini

By Lex June 11, 2014 @ 4:10 PM

Fernanda Uesler In Bikini Bottoms And A Brazil World Cup Jersey At The Beach In Miami
There can’t be much greater fortune in life than being born Brazilian and hot enough to get the fuck out of Brazil. There are plenty of Americans who jet off to Rio for a beach holiday. Very few apply for asylum. No offense Brazil, you’re still the third least shitty country in Latin America after Argentina and Uruguay. Albeit, that’s like being the third best player in a Jewish basketball league. No offense Jews, you’re still a top five religion. I’m stopping now.

Photo Credit: Splash

Fernanda Uesler Poses In Bikinis For A Photo Shoot At The Beach In Miami

By Lex April 30, 2014 @ 10:42 AM

Fernanda Uesler Poses In Bikinis For A Photo Shoot At The Beach In Miami

Photo Credit: Splash

Fernanda Uesler In A Bikini

By Lex January 30, 2014 @ 4:21 PM

Fernanda Uesler In A Bikini On The Beach In Miami
Here’s that Brazilian chick again who looks like she stepped straight out of some bikini magazine. Everything about her looks perfect. You can’t tell she’s Brazilian necessarily because she’s not kicking a soccer ball or shooting homeless urchins with shotguns, but I bet she’d look great doing that too in her bikini. It’d be like Machete, except people will actually see it.

Photo Credit: Splash

Fernanda Uesler In A Bikini

By Lex January 22, 2014 @ 5:52 PM

Fernanda Uesler In A Multicolored Bikini At The Beach In Miami
That Brazilian chick with the perfectly groomed bush is back in Miami. I actually can’t see the entire cut of her jib, but I’d like to imagine she has some finely shorn pubic hairs etched into the shape of Bebeto. Along with her perfect smile and hair blowing like a 70′s pinup calendar despite the presence of any wind, Fernanda Uesler is the perfect woman to bring home to my mom. Well, that predatory lesbian Svengali who raised me to go out into the world and find her young female flesh. Cynthia to her friends.

Photo Credit: Splash

Fernanda Uesler In A Bikini

By Lex December 20, 2013 @ 4:51 PM

Fernanda Uesler In A Bikini On The Beach In Miami
I don’t know who this girl is, but I’m going to guess she’s Brazilian. Miami Beach is littered with these girls whose hair blows perfectly in the wind like straight out of a dream, right before the nocturnal emission. They’re not scared to death of the sun like women in the Northern Hemisphere who want to ensure that their skin remains unblemished for when they’re old and nobody cares anymore to see them without their clothes on. With all this talk of Comprehensive Immigration Reform, I hope somebody is paying off somebody in Washington to make sure the focus is more on hot Brazilian models and a tad less on rapey looking dudes with leafblowers. I can live with some foliage on the sidewalk. I can’t go long without seeing tanned tits.

Photo Credit: Splash