Not since the Fox reality dating series Joe Millionaire has something so fucking stupid made its way onto network television (probably an exaggeration), but I Wanna Marry Harry is finally here to make the rest of the world believe that Americans are as dumb as they think we are. On this new series, 12 female idiots are brought to England for what they think is the chance to win Prince Harry’s heart, because if there’s one thing that the royal family would let Harry do, it’s star in a reality series on Fox. Some of the girls introduced in last night’s debut episode seemed a little skeptical, openly questioning the validity of the guy who clearly isn’t Prince Harry, but will that stop them from acting like petty hookers who wouldn’t saw off their own pinkies for a chance at trading sex to join the monarchy? No. Absolutely not.
If I had to rank the lasting horrible legacies of former NFL star and current prison queen OJ Simpson, they would go: 3) Kato Kaelin, 2) Reason that Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian are famous and wealthy, and 1) Guy who didn’t kill two people (but probably did). Although Nos. 1 and 2 could be switched and I don’t think anyone but Fred Goldman would really protest.
Now that the Juice is locked away in prison and nothing but a terrible memory, the fine human beings at FOX are digging up two families’ most painful memories so America can ask itself: “Where were you when 100 million people slapped their foreheads in shock?”
Everybody remembers where they were when O.J. Simpson, riding in a white Bronco, led the police on a low-speed chase all over Los Angeles. This marked the emergence of the 24-hour news cycle and the birth of reality television. Written by Golden Globe Award winners Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski (“The People vs. Larry Flint,” “Man on the Moon,” “Ed Wood”), THE RUN OF HIS LIFE: THE PEOPLE V. O.J. SIMPSON (wt) will take viewers behind the scenes of “The Trial of The Century,” driven by the nonstop plot of a courtroom thriller and presenting the story of the trial as it has never been told. (Entertainment Weekly)
I’m not sure what story hasn’t been told. Maybe the story about how OJ’s lawyers told him, “Try to act like the glove is too small” or how Robert Kardashian didn’t know that OJ was sleeping with his wife and is the real father of Khloe Kardashian. You know, allegedly.