Kris Jenner Photoshops Promo Pic

By Matt October 22, 2014 @ 6:30 AM


Kris Jenner posted a photo with Gordon Ramsay promoting her cookbook and Photoshopped the shit out her and Ramsay’s face. She now resembles a young Elvis Presley or teen mom on an episode of Intervention. She also did a once over sandpapering of Ramsay’s face. Unfortunately he posted the same photo of each hell demon looking properly haggard and broken (see below, if you dare, fucking Halloween spooky).

Kris’ cookbook is a collection of rich tasty foods that Kris cooks for Khloe and then puts in bowls just out of her daughter’s paws. Kris apparently finds that comforting, a little reminiscing to when the girls were young and she trained then with a stick and a whistle. If you ever see these two “chefs” in the same room pull the fire alarm. It’s a nightmarish of cuntiness so profound it may actually alter the DNA you pass on to your children.


Kitchen Nightmare Becomes Societal Headache (VIDEO)

By Matt September 29, 2014 @ 7:44 AM

Amy’s Baking Company in Phoenix became famous when its owners appeared to be psychotic on Gordon Ramsay’s show called Kitchen Nightmares. It featured Ramsay pretending to be angry about restaurants which were so horridly inept at conducting business they thought it would be a good idea to seek out a free thirty minute commercial about how shitty they were. Most of them were just delaying the inevitable on their way out of business, but figured they may as well take the opportunity to meet a frosty tipped Brit and embarrass their families on national television in exchange for a tiny chunk of network cash.

Amy’s Baking Company was the crown jewel in this show’s perennial pile of shit legacy. Amy came off as an entitled and idiotic trophy wife cunt, while her husband was portrayed as a violent border line criminal who hated humanity and patrons. This led people to review Amy’s on Yelp who felt like being mean to them since they appeared to be tumors on society’s underbelly. Amy’s is somehow still in business and probably hemorrhaging money to write off shady off shore accounts. The pair recently filmed an embarrassingly transparent staged knife chase in attempt to generate buzz for what is most likely a stupid reality show they are currently shopping around. These assholes suck at the restaurant business and also lack knowledge in the field of reality TV production. There are plenty of useless fools out there, but the ones who get shows at least learn how to be uneventful. Everything else seems fake, or faker. Fuck.

Gordon Ramsay Sucks At His Job

By Matt June 30, 2014 @ 8:24 AM


Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares didn’t help save many restaurants. A majority all went under. Ramsay’s move was to barge in and change a menu from burgers and fries to contemporary vegan so he could continue to be friends with Gwyneth Paltrow. When the parolees working the kitchen would fuck up, he would scream at them in barely intelligible English in front of planted customers. If this didn’t get the doors shuttered, locals could always wait and DVR the episode to catch cockroaches feeding on the bodies of dead union bosses in the pantry of their favorite diner. Why would a restaurant subject themselves to this bullshit charade? Probably because most of them were already closing and didn’t mind charging a location fee to have Ramsay’s cornball ass show up and kick a dead horse. Just like Basketball Wives features women who aren’t really basketball wives and Millionaire Matchmaker features bachelors who aren’t really millionaires, Ramsay wasn’t a guy who was really a restaurant fixer. He was just another dick with mousse in his hair.

Photo Credit: Getty Images 

Gordon Ramsay has killed another chef

By brendon September 28, 2010 @ 2:27 PM


NOTE: first of all, this story is about suicide, which is obviously a very serious subject matter, but I don’t want you to be sad. Because I’m fine. I’m doin’ great. Struttin around like the cats pajamas, you might even say if you were my grandfather.

Also: I have no idea who that Asian chick with big tits is, but her picture is here because this is about Gordon Ramsey murdering people with his poison words, so now more than ever, the world needs Asian chicks with big tits (call me!). The New York Post says…

A New Jersey restaurateur once featured on Gordon Ramsay’s “Kitchen Nightmares” — and told by the TV chef that his debt-ridden eatery was “about to swim down the Hudson” — was eerily found floating in the river after jumping off the George Washington Bridge.
Joseph Cerniglia, the 39-year-old owner of Campania in Fair Lawn, is the second chef to commit suicide after appearing on one of Ramsay’s high-heat, reality-cooking series.

Holy shit. It’s almost like Ramsey told people to kill themselves and they did it. That is bad ass. I can’t even get my girlfriend to make me a sandwich. How is this not the biggest thing on television? It’s a game show where the loser dies. It’s ‘the Running Man’, only this time… the game is for real!!!