Gordon Ramsay Sucks At His Job

By Matt June 30, 2014 @ 8:24 AM

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Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares didn’t help save many restaurants. A majority all went under. Ramsay’s move was to barge in and change a menu from burgers and fries to contemporary vegan so he could continue to be friends with Gwyneth Paltrow. When the parolees working the kitchen would fuck up, he would scream at them in barely intelligible English in front of planted customers. If this didn’t get the doors shuttered, locals could always wait and DVR the episode to catch cockroaches feeding on the bodies of dead union bosses in the pantry of their favorite diner. Why would a restaurant subject themselves to this bullshit charade? Probably because most of them were already closing and didn’t mind charging a location fee to have Ramsay’s cornball ass show up and kick a dead horse. Just like Basketball Wives features women who aren’t really basketball wives and Millionaire Matchmaker features bachelors who aren’t really millionaires, Ramsay wasn’t a guy who was really a restaurant fixer. He was just another dick with mousse in his hair.

Photo Credit: Getty Images 

Gordon Ramsay has killed another chef

By brendon September 28, 2010 @ 2:27 PM

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NOTE: first of all, this story is about suicide, which is obviously a very serious subject matter, but I don’t want you to be sad. Because I’m fine. I’m doin’ great. Struttin around like the cats pajamas, you might even say if you were my grandfather.

Also: I have no idea who that Asian chick with big tits is, but her picture is here because this is about Gordon Ramsey murdering people with his poison words, so now more than ever, the world needs Asian chicks with big tits (call me!). The New York Post says…

A New Jersey restaurateur once featured on Gordon Ramsay’s “Kitchen Nightmares” — and told by the TV chef that his debt-ridden eatery was “about to swim down the Hudson” — was eerily found floating in the river after jumping off the George Washington Bridge.
Joseph Cerniglia, the 39-year-old owner of Campania in Fair Lawn, is the second chef to commit suicide after appearing on one of Ramsay’s high-heat, reality-cooking series.

Holy shit. It’s almost like Ramsey told people to kill themselves and they did it. That is bad ass. I can’t even get my girlfriend to make me a sandwich. How is this not the biggest thing on television? It’s a game show where the loser dies. It’s ‘the Running Man’, only this time… the game is for real!!!