Katy Perry Prayed for Big Tits

By Lex January 21, 2014 @ 6:50 PM

Katy Perry Poses For The February 2014 Issue Of GQ Magazine
While her parents were praying for the mortal destruction of gays and Jews, Katy Perry was praying for big tits. According to her heavily managed interview in GQ magazine, it’s all Katy ever wanted as a little girl:

“I lay on my back one night and looked down at my feet, and I prayed to God. I said, ‘God, will you please let me have boobs so big that I can’t see my feet when I’m lying down?’”

Once God granted her wish for big yabbos, Katy prayed to God that she could make millions of billions of dollars from them. Then she prayed for Russell Brand’s dick to fall off and for people not to notice that all her songs sounded the same. Most or all of those came true as well. Meanwhile, I’ve prayed to God for the chance to have sex with Katy for six years straight now without so much as a bare tit peek to show for it. Maybe I should start asking Satan.

Photo Credit: GQ Magazine

Dylan Penn Blessed to Look Like Mom

By Lex December 19, 2013 @ 5:50 PM

Dylan Penn Poses For A Bikini Photoshoot In The January 2014 Issue Of GQ Magazine
At one point, Robin Wright Penn was so good looking, she started cursing at Hollywood for only giving her roles for hot ladies. So she tried to ugly herself up and wear lots of bad makeup and disfiguring details so she could play more serious roles. This kind of smarmy devotion to her craft made her the perfect temporary wife for Sean Penn before he beat her or just wouldn’t shut the fuck up about Myanmar politics or some such shit that drove Robin Wright away. But before they went off to their separate Fortresses of Self-Importance, they made a baby girl. They called her Dylan, after Dylan Thomas, the Welsh poet both loved to name drop at Greenwich Village cocktail parties. 22-years later, we get to nearly see her tits in GQ. Which just goes to show you absolutely nothing.

Photo Credit: GQ

Adèle Exarchopoulos Poses in GQ

By Lex October 23, 2013 @ 2:34 PM

Adèle Exarchopoulos Poses For The November Issue Of GQ Magazine
I can’t possibly pronounce this chick’s name. But she’s now become famous for being in a French movie having an extended sex scene with Lea Seydoux. You can tell she’s French because she’s drinking a Coke through a straw. The French can’t drink normally out of cans. It’s one reason they get swamped so easily in wars by countries where people swig their pop.

Photo Credit: GQ Magazine

Chrissy Teigen Is Still The Voice Of Reason

By Travis August 16, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen attended last night’s GQ What to Wear Now party in New York City, and while she didn’t name names or imply anyone in particular, she called out the younger women at the party for “acting like brats.” Never the one to mince words, Chrissy admitted that she likes to tell them “that their allure will be over soon,” which is actually sound advice, because so few of these young actresses and models seem to understand that any day now (probably around 30) we’ll stop giving a shit about them.

The only thing I do know is that Chrissy couldn’t have been talking about model Chanel Iman, who was also at the party, because she’s perfect and can behave however the hell she wants.

(Photo Credits: Getty)

Aubrey Plaza in a Bikini in GQ Magazine

By Lex July 25, 2013 @ 2:57 PM

Aubrey Plaza In A Bikini For The August Issue Of GQ

Here’s Aubrey Plaza in GQ. She’s in the new movie The To-Do List playing a good looking high school girl who wants to learn how to blow dudes before she goes away to college. I remember those girls from high school. I mostly just called them the girls who forgot my name and called me ‘loser’. Or, Tammy for short.

Photo Credit: GQ Maagazine

Rita Ora Strips Down In British GQ

By Lex July 05, 2013 @ 3:58 PM

Rita Ora Strips Down For British GQ
I don’t know much about Rita Ora. I know that like most young British pop music stars listening to her music will cause blood to flow from your ears and your testicles to shrink to the size of raisins. Just that word of caution if you happen to like the way you’re hanging currently. Still, she does know how to sit on a chair like nobody’s business. I guess we can call it even.

Photo Credit: GQ UK