Gwen Stefani Is A Freak Of Nature

By Travis November 04, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Yesterday, Gwen Stefani attended the baby shower of the wife of one of her old No Doubt bandmates that she dicked over when she decided to launch her solo career years ago, and it’s just ridiculous how good this woman looks. Gwen is 44 years old and pregnant with her third child, and yet she somehow still looks better than she did 25 years ago when she was giving 90s alt rock nerds boners with her stupid plaid pants, white tank tops and suspenders. The only explanation is that at some point within the last 10 years, Gwen realized that she married the lead singer of Bush, and she would just have to keep working to maintain her great body and face so she could eventually dump him for someone who is actually famous.

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Gavin Rossdale And Gwen Stefani Seem Like Pretty Cool Parents

By Travis August 22, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Sure, their bands were perfect examples of how terribly shitty the pop “rock” music of the 1990s was, and, sure, a 47-year old man has no business wearing a choker, no matter how hip or cool he thinks he is. But Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani still seem like pretty cool people, especially when it comes to their sons, because that kid probably feels like a badass being able to wear that Superman costume wherever he goes.

It also probably helps that he knows that one day he’ll inherit a ton of money from his parents and he’ll never have to work a minute in his life before he eventually starts his own awful, shitty band. So, for now, that little kid seems pretty cool.

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Gwen Stefani Is A Terrific Mother

By Travis July 25, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

No Doubt singer and wife of that other 90s musician from that band that nobody liked, Gwen Stefani, took her son, Zuma Rossdale, out for a stroll around Beverly Hills yesterday, and hopefully other 43-year old moms around the country took notice and issued DEFCON 1 on their own fitness routines. It’s totally unfair and borderline criminal that a mom of two is out running around looking like this while so many American men are sitting at home with wives who look more like Mama June than they do anything even remotely close to Gwen. Let’s try to get a few more bottles of Xenadrine in stockings this Christmas, fellas.

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Gwen Stefani Should Just Stay Inside

By Lex May 20, 2013 @ 4:12 PM

Gwen Stefani Covering Herself With An Umbrella At The Beach In Marina Del Rey
When precisely did people start hating the sun. And, by people, I mean wealthy female celebrities like Gwen Stefani who shrink in fear of the burning orb like some ancient Greek slave girl violated repeatedly by Apollo. I feel like many of these same women at some time hopped on Colin Farrell’s dick without hesitation, or protection. But, oh, no, the fucking life giving nourishment of the sun will be the end of me. Quit embarrassing your kids at the beach with your floppy hats and umbrellas and protective sun gear. The ozone layer is still mostly intact and you’re not quite an albino. Your boys already have to grow up with their buddies wanting to bang you. Don’t pile this solar anxiety on top.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INF, PCN

Gwen Stefani is Cheetarah

By brendon July 25, 2012 @ 6:38 PM


Gwen Stefani was in New York today wearing a leopard print jacket. And top. And pants. Not only does it seem to lazy to match leopard with leopard, but she’s lucky she wasn’t kidnapped by furries.

(image source = wenn, splash)

Gwen Stefani is better than other moms

By brendon May 24, 2012 @ 2:59 PM


For most people, these would be the best pictures they would ever take in their lives, yet for Gwen Stefani it was just Wednesday. She just looks cool and sexy all the time, even while running simple errands. I wish I could make everything look as effortless as she does. Like this Gavin Rossdale suicide note I’ve been forging, for example. It’s already been like two god damn weeks and I don’t think it’s any better now than when I started!

(image source = inf, wenn)