By Lex November 11, 2015 @ 11:57 AM
According to Us magazine, which is basically the wild speculation of a fat woman on the divan watching Dr Phil but with a major print magazine behind her, Gwen Stefani busted Gavin Rossdale for a three year affair with the nanny. I’m not sure how your husband fucks the nanny for three years before you find out, but let’s just say you lose your junior detective badge. Rich dads are always fucking the nanny. Rossdale could’ve probably kept on spunking the kids’ caretaker uncaught but the other fucking nanny turned him in:
At the time, the No Doubt frontwoman discovered explicit texts between Rossdale and the nanny — including nude photos of Mann and their plans to meet up for sex — on the family’s iPad. The iPad was linked to Gavin’s phone. One of the other nannies discovered the exchange and told Gwen.
Um, Mrs. Gwen, I know you’re deciding between Lupita and myself for the head nanny position, and I just want to say before you make a decision…. just check the family iPad maybe.
Stefani was said to be ‘mortified, livid, and embarrassed’ when her husband finally confessed to the affair. While Rossdale was said to be ‘modestly relieved’ that Stefani didn’t find out about the half dozen other women he was fucking because you don’t get into a rock band because you desperately love music.
How you come up in the world of pop music and still believe blindly in faithful boyfriends and husbands is inexplicable. It’s like hooking up with an NFL linebacker and expecting not to need extra foundation to cover the facial bruises. I’d feel bad for Stefani but according to the same rags she’s already carrying Blake Shelton’s fetus. There’s some solace in showing up your cheating husband with a quickie bastard baby.
Photo Credit: Interview Magazine
By Matt July 29, 2014 @ 7:17 AM
Gwen Stefani has joined the chorus of modes and celebrities taking a stand for public breastfeeding by traveling to their European vacation homes and nursing under the sun. In staunch opposition to the breastfeeding hotties is one guy in Idaho who writes letters to the editor from his electricity-free cabin. Most of the obese puritans who otherwise gently critique public breastfeeding just want it to be done tastefully and not squirted in the face of passing voyeurs. Put another way, rocking a camel toe is completely legal but if you jump on the lunch counter and pick up your utensils with your vagina cleft, people will think you’re grandstanding. There is a simple happy middle ground in the public breastfeeding debate. But middle grounds don’t make for Instagram photos tagged with a couple thousand ‘You go, girls!’. Social media is like a mirror reflecting our stupidity.
Photo Credit: Instagram
By Travis November 04, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
Yesterday, Gwen Stefani attended the baby shower of the wife of one of her old No Doubt bandmates that she dicked over when she decided to launch her solo career years ago, and it’s just ridiculous how good this woman looks. Gwen is 44 years old and pregnant with her third child, and yet she somehow still looks better than she did 25 years ago when she was giving 90s alt rock nerds boners with her stupid plaid pants, white tank tops and suspenders. The only explanation is that at some point within the last 10 years, Gwen realized that she married the lead singer of Bush, and she would just have to keep working to maintain her great body and face so she could eventually dump him for someone who is actually famous.
Photo Credits: WENN.com
By Travis August 22, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
Sure, their bands were perfect examples of how terribly shitty the pop “rock” music of the 1990s was, and, sure, a 47-year old man has no business wearing a choker, no matter how hip or cool he thinks he is. But Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani still seem like pretty cool people, especially when it comes to their sons, because that kid probably feels like a badass being able to wear that Superman costume wherever he goes.
It also probably helps that he knows that one day he’ll inherit a ton of money from his parents and he’ll never have to work a minute in his life before he eventually starts his own awful, shitty band. So, for now, that little kid seems pretty cool.
(Photo Credits: WENN.com)
By Travis July 25, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
No Doubt singer and wife of that other 90s musician from that band that nobody liked, Gwen Stefani, took her son, Zuma Rossdale, out for a stroll around Beverly Hills yesterday, and hopefully other 43-year old moms around the country took notice and issued DEFCON 1 on their own fitness routines. It’s totally unfair and borderline criminal that a mom of two is out running around looking like this while so many American men are sitting at home with wives who look more like Mama June than they do anything even remotely close to Gwen. Let’s try to get a few more bottles of Xenadrine in stockings this Christmas, fellas.
(Photo Credits: WENN.com)
By Lex May 20, 2013 @ 4:12 PM
When precisely did people start hating the sun. And, by people, I mean wealthy female celebrities like Gwen Stefani who shrink in fear of the burning orb like some ancient Greek slave girl violated repeatedly by Apollo. I feel like many of these same women at some time hopped on Colin Farrell’s dick without hesitation, or protection. But, oh, no, the fucking life giving nourishment of the sun will be the end of me. Quit embarrassing your kids at the beach with your floppy hats and umbrellas and protective sun gear. The ozone layer is still mostly intact and you’re not quite an albino. Your boys already have to grow up with their buddies wanting to bang you. Don’t pile this solar anxiety on top.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INF, PCN