Gwyneth Paltrow Wants Instructions On How To Be A Stepmother

December 6, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I don’t blame Gwyneth Paltrow for being hesitant about mixing broods with hubby Brad Falchuk. He probably doesn’t even fully accept her favorite child, Goop. She claims she’s having a hard time adjusting to stepmotherhood because she’s never done... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow Wants Daughter To Continue In Her Goopy Footsteps

October 19, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I know I’m not the only one that wouldn’t mind seeing Gwyneth Paltrow and her Goop gone from the spotlight for good. Regrettably, that’s not happening for some time as her daughter Apple Blythe Alison is being groomed to... READ MORE

Goop Gotta Pay Up

September 8, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Gwyneth Paltrow is a lying piece of Goop, and certainly not the prophet that she’s parading herself around to be. No, she doesn’t have the answers. And contrary to her average customer’s belief, if you touch the edge of... READ MORE

GOOP Girl Doesn’t Get Why You Hate Her So Much

August 1, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

For Gwyneth Paltrow, striving to unmask the true reason behind why she has so many newly dedicated ill-wishers is a challenge. But she mustn’t look further than the example of September 11th. A mutual hatred of any threatening entity... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow Manages To Get Even More Annoying

May 30, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Do you remember that girl you grew up with that could never fully commit to anything she was involved in? That’s Gwyneth Paltrow. She can’t fully decide if she wants to be an organic-only hussy, online cult leader, or... READ MORE

The Goop Is Adults Only

April 29, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Thank God we have Gwyneth Paltrow as the end all be all decider on who is officially deemed an adult and who is not. The first Brad she dated saved her from certain doom. Harvey Weinstein was going to... READ MORE

The Cost To Commit To Gwyneth’s Goop Cult

February 26, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Gwyneth Paltrow is lucky she isn’t from Salem and this isn’t the 1600s. The woman is obviously a witch. She magically switches careers from actress to full-time social media influencer and somehow pretends it’s a promotion. If you look... READ MORE