Actors are without question the worst people on earth. Dumb, lazy, selfish, arrogant, ungrateful, and spoiled beyond belief. This post is about Gwyneth Paltrow. Try and guess if it’s good. The Sun UK says…
The claws are out on the set of Iron Man 2 with stars SCARLETT JOHANSSON and GWYNETH PALTROW going head to head.
Gwynny reckons her on-set rival is hogging the limelight and now sparks are flying between the movie’s two female leads.
“Gwyneth has become very frustrated with Scarlett. They come from different worlds and have completely different styles.”
I do not know how directors do it. Different styles? The Hollywood Walk of Fame has 2 muppets and 3 dogs on it. Meaning Paltrow has the same job as puppets and dogs, and at least 5 of them are as good or better than she is at it. Sounds easy, right?
“Gwyneth has been left exhausted by the politics and a series of strenuous scenes and and is now taking a two-week break from filming.”
Hubby CHRIS MARTIN has lavished her with love and supported her at a dinner with friends in LA.
Please remember that Gwyneth plays a secretary in this movie, and the movie is not called The Secretary Who Climbed a Mountain and Wrestled Bears. It’s Iron Man 2. Her role is to wear glasses that (*SPOILER ALERT*) are actually just clear glass and not prescription and bring in pretend cups of coffee. You can see now why she’s “exhausted”. If she has to read from an imaginary BlackBerry she might literally die.
Gwyneth Paltrow is an idiot who needs to constantly be told how awesome she is, so is it any surprise she insisted that the director of her new movie judge her tits before filming a nude scene? The Sun UK says…
“Two Lovers” director JAMES GRAY revealed that Gwyn asked him to come to her trailer where she peeled off, to allay worries that having two kids had taken its toll on her.
He said: “Gwyneth told me ‘I don’t care about nudity, I’ll give you everything you need. But I’ve had two children and I just don’t think they look very good any more. Do me a favour, come into my trailer and I’ll show them to you and if you think they look OK I’ll do it.’ So I marched in there and I told her they looked great.”
So are they great or did he just tell her they were great. Sounds like he just told her what she wanted to hear so he could leave. Which is understandable. I’d rather be alone with my foot stuck in rocks at the bottom of the ocean than with Paltrow as she fishes around for compliments.
(uncensored picture here, if you’re into that sort of thing)
There’s an auction on eBay (over here) for the Johnsons Clean Water Initiative, and even though she’s balancing doing nothing with doing nothing, Gwyneth Paltrow made time to volunteer someone else to do something. What an angel she is. Don’t be confused by the 5 pictures of Paltrow compared to just one of the person who is actually doing something, rest assured, Paltrow has no further obligation.
Basically you get 90 minutes with trainer Tracy Anderson, 5 additional hours with some other trainer, three workout videos, 40 minutes worth of consultation over the phone, and a $2,500 American Express gift card for travel arrangements.
It says the retail value of all this is $10,000, and it really takes some balls to claim that kind of thing. Let’s just pretend that it somehow makes sense to turn $2500 from your bank into a $2500 gift card on the floor, and let’s pretend the dvd’s cost $150 dollars each, that means these personal training sessions are worth well over $1000 an hour. I find that hard to believe. Especially since this woman is Paltrows business partner, so it probably cost her nothing at all. I don’t have a dictionary on front of me but I’m pretty sure “donate” means “to give”.
JAMES CAMERON – “Avatar”, his first movie since “Titanic”, could cost more than 300 million dollars, which would pass “Pirates of the Caribbean 3” as the most expensive movie ever made. Yet still a bargain to get a James Cameron 3D sci-fi movie. Not a bargain: Skippy peanut butter. The CouponLady Dianne Laumann says, “They’ve put a big dimple on the bottom.” (source = deadline: hollywood and abc2)
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE - has his own brand of tequila coming out called “901”. A spokesman said, “901 is that time of night when your evening is ending, but your night is just beginning." Now say, “901 is how many cocks I’d like in my mouth”, and see which 901 explanation sounds gayer. (source = sun USA)
SELETA EBANKS - Quintessentially held a party last week for “Valentino: The Last Emperor”. I didn’t know what that was, but now it has a trailer. It sounds gay, so I didn’t watch the trailer, and I still don’t know what it is, other than an excuse to post new party pictures of five star beauty Gwyneth Paltrow and Seleta Ebanks in a tiny skirt. Seleta is so hot, and Gywneth is so ugly. They’re like arch enemies in a comic book they’re so different. (source = apple, splash)
KATY PERRY - On Friday, because of this, I forgot for a few seconds why I think I would punch Katy Perry. Oh, wait. Yeah here we go: “I fart a lot. I'm hopping around. I'm a little gassy. I don't care. It's my stage.” You know what, I don’t care how big her tits are … um, okay I very much do care, but god damn is she annoying. (source = the sun USA)
GWYNETH PALTROW - Gwyneth is opening a gym in NYC, and it's pretty much exactly what you might expect from her. One person asked to join said, “It's ridiculous. Membership is like $4500 to join and then hundreds of dollars a month. Who can afford that right now?” Paltrow is so far removed from reality, when the woman said 4500 was too high, Paltrow probably thought she was retarded, and showed her pictures of an apple and a duck. “Can you say duck. Duuuck. Duck. The duck says quack.” (source – sydney morning herald)
ANNA FARIS - this chick is really really funny. And she looks like this. And in this months GQ, she talks about all the weed she smokes. If she got any more perfect it would turn out she can fly. (source = GQ)
For weeks I’ve been telling family and friends about Joaquin Phoenix’s hot new rap career, specifically that there’s no reason to doubt or question it in any way, but now Gwyneth Paltrow is on the case, and her observations are making me look like a fool. She tells People magazine…
“I think that there might be some other explanation or something going on. I'm not quite sure what, but I can't believe that he's really going to quit [acting] forever to become a rapper.”
It’s obvious she can’t say everything she discovered during her investigation for fear of reprisals, but now that I think about it, he wasn’t a very good rapper. Joaquin played me like a fiddle, no doubt about it.
(no idea who that is but she came up during a search for Joaquin pictures. WENN says, “Glamour girl, actress and former girlfriend of Joaquin Cortes, Marisa Jara, posing in sexy swimwear.”)
