Kendall Jenner And Hailey Baldwin Eskimo Sisters

By Lex January 12, 2016 @ 11:18 AM

Kendall Jenner And Hailey Baldwin Night Out
Justin Bieber has tagged both of these women. It’s two in an impressive list that will ultimately be in his first set of memories, Just How Many Celebrity Models Can a Rich Midget Fuck? The name is meant to be rhetorical. The answer is thirty-seven. It’s horrible when assholes can point to scoreboard whenever you call them assholes. It’s their Allspark. Throw up your hands. Famous people don’t die of The AIDS anymore. Start a Change.org petition to get him to take in some vetted Syrian refugees and wait for it to play out. He won’t be so cocky without his head.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Hailey Baldwin in Spandex

By Lex September 04, 2015 @ 8:14 AM

Hailey Baldwin Showy In Spandex In NYC
It’s hard to believe Stephen Baldwin made something worthwhile. The skateboarding for Jesus and the absurdist drunken soliloquies I buy. This chick is pretty majestic. Her familiarity with Greek tragedy and genetics might be slight enough that she is unaware her future lies in rehab, prison, or being domestically assaulted by somebody loosely related to Kenny Loggins. Use House at Pooh Corner in a sentence, bitch. For now it’s Spandex and happy thoughts. Don’t Wiki yourself. I’ve seen the last section.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Kendall Jenner, Hailey Baldwin And Pia Mia Perez in Bikinis in Mexico

By Lex August 14, 2015 @ 12:46 PM

Hailey Baldwin And Pia Mia Perez Bikinis In Mexico  04
Mexico is sending us their rapists. We’re sending them our whores. It makes sense if you studied street economics. Kris Jenner dispatched Kendall Jenner along with Hailey Baldwin and Pia Mia Perez down to Mexico to chaperone her barely legal daughter being fucked on the cliffs of Acapulco by her rapper boyfriend and a dudes selling naranjas on the freeway offramps. Juice never tasted as sweet as when it’s payment for bumping your lady’s snatch. This seems like the right time to quickly build that five hundred foot wall along the Southern border. Summer is coming. But no, that’s not why your urethra is burning.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Hailey Baldwin And Ireland Baldwin Find Their Purpose

By Lex July 28, 2015 @ 10:39 AM

Hailey Baldwin And Ireland Baldwin Kissing Cousins At Mission Impossible Premiere
Hailey Baldwin and cousin Ireland Baldwin mouth kissed on the red carpet of the Mission Impossible premiere because Ireland Baldwin was just cured of her booze and lesbianism and this was her first real test. You never know how you’re treatment will hold in the field until your hot cousin is looking to swap spit. Tom Cruise could only clench his toes and hold back three decades of tear-filled regret. Everyone agreed that this was at least as good as the movie itself, if not slightly less derivative.

Photo Credit: Getty

Josephine Skriver Feels Up Kendall Jenner

By Lex May 20, 2015 @ 9:35 AM

Josephine-Skriver-Pushing-Up-Kendall-Jenner-Boobs
Porntube’s least viewed FFF threesome briefly broke out at a VIP party in Cannes when Kendall Jenner kissed Hailey Baldwin as Victoria’s Secret model Josephine Skriver pushed up Kendall Jenner’s tits. It’s France, where nothing’s gay, just French. This is just three teen chicks going Lord of the Flies but with endless vodka cranberries and haute couture in the stead of lawless primal aggression. None of these girls are associated with the movie business but they are willing to play with their tits on camera for social media likes. Less about Juliet Binoche in Versace. More teen lesbian antics, s’il vous plaît.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Coachella Happened, It Will Happen Again

By Lex April 13, 2015 @ 11:23 AM

Hollywood At Coachella Alessandra Ambrosio LB
Coachella isn’t just about the cutting edge of Madonna and Drake kissing on stage, it’s about the people. If you’re a ticket buyer who spent their entire last paycheck from the Coffee Bean on a single wristband, you’re in with the tens of thousands sweaty masses taking ecstasy and imagining you’re a musical vanguard. If you’ve got a decent publicist, you’re in the cordoned off wide open area for the celebrities and their pharmaceutical reps. Tell your stylist to read up on Woodstock so she can outfit your appropriately. Bring a boy to make out with because you didn’t do high school and missed all the Hootie concerts. Bad girls dressed like injuns go to the front of the Arts Festival line. Have somebody tell you the name of your favorite band there and hope you don’t get a rash. Don’t forget the second weekend.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet