Dozens of fancy Hollywood stars paused from yelling at their Haitian housekeeper last week to go pitch in at the ‘Hope For Haiti Now’ telethon, and because of them it raised over 61 million dollars.
Jessica Simpson wasn’t part of the telethon, but she wants to help too. In the dumbest way imaginable. She also told me to ask if you wanted to split a piece of cheesecake. “Should we each get different kinds and see which is better,” she said to ask.
Jessica Simpson is trying to help the victims of the Haiti earthquake by organizing a shoe drive.
The singer, 29, has announced plans to team up with Nashville-based shoe charity Soles4Souls to collect at least 50,000 pairs of shoes in 50 days, which will be sent to victims in the Caribbean country.
“Let’s all do everything that we can for the tragedy in Haiti,” she says in a video clip advertising the campaign.
Go to www.50000shoes.com to make contributions.
Finally. One Haitian woman who lost everything said, “Of course I want to go get some and antibiotics and fresh water, but not in these scuffed up flats. Hopefully something with an ankle strap is on the way, or some breezy espadrilles. What looks worse, the gangrene in my foot or these slip-on earth tones?”
THE HURT LOCKER - was (rightfully) named the best picture of the year by the Producers Guild of America this weekend, giving it some momentum heading toward the Academy Awards. Unfortunately it’s only made $12M so far. They should have called it “The Hurt Romantic Vampire”. (variety)
AVATAR - will become the highest grossing movie ever later today after it finished the weekend with a box office total of $1.841 billion, just shy of ‘Titanic’ and its 1.843. Analysts are surprised because ‘Avatar’ has done all this is less than 2 months, and also because the movie is kind of fuckin stupid. (hollywood reporter)
TIGER WOODS - was finally visited by his wife at his sex rehab in Mississippi. In fact she spent 5 days there and is participating in his therapy. When asked for a comment, someone more miserable than Tiger didn’t say anything, because they don’t exist. (radar)
HOPE FOR HAITI NOW - raised $57M Friday night with the big Hollywood telethon. You just know Haiti is gonna spend all that on weed. (us.com)
ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO - was in St. Barths this weekend for Victorias Secret. I heard that when you have sex with her, when you pull out your penis shines like the sun because her vagina coated it with a layer of gold. True story! (source = splash news online)
Speaking of Haiti and the telethon, the list of Hollywood stars who will be manning the phones is now out (highlights below, full list under the cut). What a sexy telethon this is gonna be.
Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, Alec Baldwin, Gerard Butler, Sacha Baron Cohen, Bradley Cooper, Daniel Craig, Cindy Crawford, Penelope Cruz, Michael Clarke Duncan, Zac Efron, Colin Farrell, Mel Gibson, Selena Gomez, Neil Patrick Harris, Vanessa Hudgens, Dwayne Johnson, Daniel Day Lewis, Ewan McGregor, Toby Maguire, Jack Nicholson, Zoe Saldana (pictured), Adam Sandler, Nicole Scherzinger, Steven Spielberg, Charlize Theron, Sofia Vergara, Mark Wahlberg, Olivia Wilde, Reese Witherspoon
They should put up each celebrities number because I’m not giving shit to Billy Crystal. If anything I’d just call him a dick and hang up. That’s not gonna help Haiti. And Noah Wylie is probably just there to collect credit card numbers. I wasn’t born yesterday. I want Vanessa Hudgens, to see if she’d flash her bra to the camera for a thousand dollar donation. Look Vanessa, do you want to help these people or not?
The big Haiti telethon is tomorrow night, to be aired live on dozens of stations with sexy Hollywood stars staffing the phones, and not only did George Clooney organize much of it, now he’s set the bar with a 1 million dollar donation. E! online says…
He’s not the first—and we hope won’t be the last—but the consummate movie star is the latest to make a $1 million donation to the Haiti relief efforts.
He joins the rarified world of Sandra Bullock, Gisele Bündchen and Brangelina in making the milestone personal donation, which, as it happens, is his second seven-figure offering in as many weeks.
OK I know I just asked this same thing, but what’s the deal with this. Look, I don’t even really know where Haiti is, I have no animosity towards them. I hope the telethon is a big hit, I hope people give, I hope Haiti gets back on their feet, but what’s the deal here. Are they trying to fix it like it was before, or does Haiti need a whole new country? Because even before the quake the buildings and roads look like Earth on that ‘Life After People’ show, except Haiti has people. What have they been doing for 300 years? How do we know what buildings to fix? How do we know which ones were broken by the earthquake and what ones were already fucked up? I’m not so sure you should get a new building just because you broke the other one. Are we just taking their word on this? How does that work? If you were an insurance agent, and someone wrecked their 95 Accord, you wouldn’t give them a Maybach would you? This is exactly like that, except in this case the person didn’t have any insurance, and instead of a 95 Accord they had a rusty bike with no seat.
The last time Kanye West was involved with a telethon after a natural disaster, it went just great, and yet he’s reportedly been banned from the telethon currently being organized by George Clooney to raise money for the warlords who are gonna steal it the good people devastated by the earthquake in Haiti. PopEater says…
“After what he said on the Katrina telethon and the way he behaved at the MTV Video Music Awards, everyone agrees it’s just best that he does not participate,” a producing partner told me. “Kayne has to make everything about himself. He will do anything to steal the spotlight and, well, this night it’s just not about him.”
This is dumb because Kanye seemed genuinely sorry after the Taylor Swift thing. He’d be fine. Why do they need a telethon anyway? Haiti is the poorest country on earth, and even before the earthquake it looked like the future in a video game about zombies. How much could it really cost to fix that? Wasn’t most of that stuff broken anyway? This seems like a trick. Are we even sure there was an earthquake? You’re not foolin me, Haiti. I’m on to your little game.
