Halle Berry Looks Good After Yet Another Euro Model Baby

By Lex January 30, 2014 @ 4:13 PM

Halle Berry Shows Off Her Cleavage At The Acapulco Film Festival In Mexico
I can’t remember which swarthy looking European man is the dad of Halle Berry’s latest kid, but as always Halle looks ready to make more after just having this one. Getting Halle pregnant isn’t the hard part, it’s the near medically impossible part. But they said that at forty and at fifty, and they’ll probably saw it again when Halle loads up with child again at sixty. Nobody bothers to make those cliche comment about how when her kids are graduating high school Halle Berry will be using a walker. Because you know even behind her walker there will be a dozen high school boys lined up begging to raw dog her. She’s got good genes.

Photo Credit: Getty

Halle Berry Is Very Pregnant

By Lex August 05, 2013 @ 5:37 PM

Halle Berry Shows Off Her Growing Belly After Lunching In Brentwood
Halle Berry is very pregnant by way of whomever the current Euro-model she’s now dating. I have a sneaking suspicion that she likes everybody knowing she’s pregnant. And not just because Halle’s bravely proving that rich women can have unnecessarily high risk pregnancies at nearly any age now. But also the clothes. There was no designer wardrobe for pregnant moms back in the 60′s when Halle first became sexually active. She looks fabulous. She deserves this baby.

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin

Halle Berry Ships Her Daughter Overseas

By Lex May 28, 2013 @ 12:42 PM

Halle Berry Takes Her Daughter Nahla To Get A Passport In Los Angeles
It’s kind of a sad day, but you knew it had to come. Halle Berry took her daughter Nahla to FedEx to get her passport picture. With the new baby on the way by the next temperamental male model, it’s time to ship the five year old reminder of the last guy off somewhere overseas. Remember, Nahla, mommy still loves you. Now take a deep breath and get in the fucking box.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN

Halle Berry Pregnant Because Why the Fuck Not

By Lex April 05, 2013 @ 2:23 PM

I’m not sure Halle Berry realizes that while a number of her parts are fresh from the factory this decade, her babymaker is still a natural 46. But somehow, she and her pretty Euro boy actor and model boyfriend got a baby in there and it’s going to become a kid, according to TMZ. You could expect this to go slightly better than the last time Halle was 40+ and gave birth to a baby by a pretty boy model. I love a game of pretend too.

Halle Berry Boobs Never Age

By Lex March 27, 2013 @ 12:18 PM

Halle Berry doesn’t have real tits, but she has spectacular tits, which is more important than real. What truly is real in this world? Organic food? It’s grown with shit, literally. Reality TV is entirely fake. The last bout of ‘real love’ I experienced ended in her sleeping with my favorite bartender (the worst, because you can always find a new girl, but finding a new favorite bartender is a pain in the ass). There is no real. Just good and bad. And Halle Berry has good.

Photo credit: FameFlyNet / Splash News

Counterpoint: Halle Berry Still a Hot Dream

By Lex March 12, 2013 @ 3:47 PM

People who say Halle Berry is just OK are both blind, and probably racist too. Not that there’s anything wrong with being blind. Halle Berry is 46-damn years old and I’d dare you to name another woman her age whose big knockers you’d like to knock back with your face as much as hers? I’d have to agree that the short haircut nonsense raging through Hollywood is a bit of a boner killer. If I wanted to be with girls with short hair and toned physiques, I’d be with boys. But there’s no denying, no rational denying, that you’d throw your best buddy out of your house if he got in the way of you and ten minutes alone with Halle Berry. And you’d shoot that same buddy between the eyes if Halle told you it was a pre-condition to banging her brains out.

Photo Credit: Getty Images