Halle Berry will fix all this

By brendon September 20, 2012 @ 2:54 PM

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Today has been incredibly unsexy, and it’s not that I forgot to post these bikini pictures of Halle Berry in Malibu earlier this week, it’s that I was waiting for just the right moment so that everything would be perfect. And that moment is right now.

Ok fine I forgot. Get off your high horse, Mr. Perfect!

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Tom Hanks will love you till da break of dawn, girl

By brendon July 27, 2012 @ 2:41 PM

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‘Cloud Atlas’, directed by Tom Tykwer of ‘Run Lola Run’ and Andy and Lana Wachowski (who used to be Larry Wachowski) of the Matrix trilogy, has it’s first trailer (HD here) starring Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, and Hugh Grant in a number of different roles as characters in different lifetimes.

So Hanks is not just a guy telling you to look in the box in front of his dick, he’s also the guy from Cast Away again, van Gogh or something, and a scientist with a prosthetic nose.

Halle Berry needs more help

By brendon September 23, 2011 @ 1:41 PM

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Halle Berry broke her foot two days ago in Spain while filming a movie called ‘Cloud Atlas’, and today she boarded a private jet to come back to America. I was really hoping she would have used that wheel chair they brought for her so I could call her bitchy names but she had to ruin everything by walking. And good for her. This isn’t that big of a deal. In fact, her foot is in a cast, it’s safer than it was before, she should go stomp some glasses or kick a watermelon in half or something like that. That watermelon part might have sounded mildly racist but don’t be a smartass, you know what I meant.

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Halle Berry + bikini = fun birthday party

By brendon August 15, 2011 @ 10:45 AM

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Halle Berry spent the day with her little girl and some friends on the beach in Malibu yesterday, celebrating her 45th birthday and making other 45 year olds feel bad about themselves. That’s probably why her treacherous friends came up with lots of subversive activities that might have “accidentally” ended up with Halles face getting smashed into rocks (like this and this). What started out as a day of innocent fun ended up as The Afternoon of Betrayal!

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Halle Berry is a good dresser

By brendon June 24, 2011 @ 4:18 PM

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Halle Berry and her daughter Nahla had lunch together in West Hollywood yesterday, so I guess I should apologize for that story I posted saying Halle hated her daughter and was starving her to death. That was apparently not true.

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afternoon headlines

By brendon February 16, 2011 @ 7:43 PM

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AMANDA SEYFRIED – moved into a new house today, but without the help of her boyfriend Ryan Phillipe. Probably because he was busy hitting on Rihanna. But what do you expect, he’s not magic, he can’t be in two places at once. Be reasonable. (us.com)

GLEE – has only been on the air for 2 seasons, but they’ve now had 113 songs on the Billboard Top 100, breaking the previous record of 108, held by Elvis. Hopefully this little fact won’t get mentioned in a Memphis hate crime trial at some point. (e!)

HALLE BERRY – and her ex Gabriel Aubry have reached an amicable custody arrangement for their daughter. At least that’s what the headline implied. I got pretty bored after that. (huff post)

VANESSA HUDGENS – gets it. Even in New York, in February, she still wears really short dresses that show off her legs. But not too short. Hopefully someone was nice enough to point out that you can’t see her vagina, even if you look really hard. I bet she would appreciate that.