Halle Berry has taken a new lover

By brendon September 10, 2010 @ 2:38 PM

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Halle Berry has been seen a lot with ex boyfriend Gabriel Aubry lately, which sort of makes sense since they dated for 4 years and had a little girl together in 2008, but since they broke up in April, she hasn’t had much of a social life. “Will this gorgeous millionaire with big tits ever find love again,” I fretted.

Yes, as it very surprisingly turns out. With a French guy named Oliver Martinez. Hey People magazine, who is Oliver Martinez?

Never married, Martinez has been romantically involved with a number of beautiful women, including Juliette Binoche, Kylie Minogue, Mira Sorvino and now, apparently, Berry. Earlier this year, British papers reported Martinez was seeing Victoria Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

So he’s nailed a ton of beautiful women and he’s a French?! Oh I simply adore him! Maybe if we met he could insist I refer to him only as “The Baron” to be even more likable.

Friday afternoon headlines

By brendon August 27, 2010 @ 5:14 PM

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HALLE BERRY – broke up with boyfriend Gabriel Aubry back in April after dating for 4 years, but they looked like the perfect family yesterday in London with their daughter. It’s nice to see two beautiful millionaires finally catch a break. (daily mail)

KARISSA SHANNON – confirms that she made a lesbian sex tape with Heidi Montag, and that Heidis husband stole it, but says she never wanted or expected anyone to see it. So the root of the problem appears to be that she doesn’t understand what cameras do. (radar)

LINDSAY LOHAN – wants Lou Taylor and Larry Rudolph, who managed the comeback of Britney Spears, to do the same for her. If step 1 was to wear a see-thru shirt and show off her tits, mission accomplished. (ny post)

Halle Berry was almost eaten by a shark

By brendon July 30, 2010 @ 6:35 PM

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That headline is a lie, but Halle Berry is off Seal Island in South Africa for a shark movie called ‘Dark Tide’, and while filming today a Great White breached and ripped apart a seal decoy. Angry and with a growing hunger, it then disappeared back into the thing Halle has her foot in.

(heres a bigger copy of the first breach pic. you can even see the film they cover their eyes with just before an attack. other two pictures here and here. source = pacific coast news)

Monday morning headlines

By brendon July 26, 2010 @ 1:02 AM

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THE AVENGERS - were on stage together at Comic-Con, and HERE is a giant full sized picture of it showing, from left to right, Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man), Clark Gregg (Agent Coulson), Scarlet Johansson (Black Widow), Chris Hemsworth (Thor), Chris Evans (Captain America), Samuel L. Jackson (Nick Fury), Jeremy Renner (Hawkeye), Mark Ruffalo (the Hulk) and director Joss Whedon. It’s an amazing cast with the exception of Ruffalo, who replaced Edward Norton. So they replaced one monotone, zero-charisma bore with another, for a character who talks about science. Try to be in your seats for his scenes so you don’t fall down. (aint it cool)

HALLE BERRY – broke up with Gabriel Aubry in April (they dated for 5 years and had a daughter in 2008) but yesterday all 3 of them flew to South Africa. Halle is going to film a movie called ‘Dark Tide’, Gabriel is going to scope out new black chicks. (popeater)

INCEPTION – won the weekend box office again ($43.5 million), despite a strong debut by Angelina Jolies ‘Salt’ ($36.5 million), which maybe would have made more if it didn’t sound like some kind of cooking show. (variety)

BLAKE LIVELY – was at Comic-Con to promote ‘the Green Lantern’, and she and Ryan Reynolds sat on a panel and waited for questions while several hundred nerds nudged each other and pantomimed tits. (getty)

thursday afternoon headlines

By brendon May 13, 2010 @ 6:58 PM

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BRITNEY SPEARS and HALLE BERRY - are just two of the big names who endorse perfumes filled with a toxic combination of chemicals that may cause sperm damage and cancer among other things. I don’t know what the other things are, but since the first two things extinguish your blood line and then murder you, they’re probably pretty irrelevant. (rwg)

LINDSAY LOHAN - won’t be one of the big stars at this years Cannes film festival because no one will sponsor her trip and she’s too broke to pay for it herself. If I were a porn producer with a bunch of coke in France, I’d be fedex’ing out plane tickets immediately. (page six)

GIRLS WRITING - wwtdd on themselves is my new favorite sport. In this case it’s Erica, who wants everyone to vote for her in a Anime Festival’s Maid Cafe Contest. And I know what you’re thinking. Yes. Those 5 words are almost completely unrelated. I know. But I read that email like 10 times, I swear to God that’s what it said. (youtube)

SHAUNA SAND and TAYLOR WANE - hung out on South Beach in bikinis today, but it’s probably best for everyone if we agree to pretend that they didn’t. (inf daily)

halle berry is single

By brendon April 30, 2010 @ 12:39 PM

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Halle Berry has broken up with her Canadian model boyfriend Gabriel Aubry after dating for the past four years, and having a child together in 2008.

It’s always sad when a couple breaks up, and since this isn’t a sad website, it’s a happy website (!), I thought a good way to cheer everybody up would be to post some pictures of Halles delicious titties. She’s probably filled with self doubt lately, so I bet she’ll be tickled pink to know that people all over the world are looking at her and masturbating. What a honor!

(giant nsfw ‘swordfish’ screencap here)