thursday afternoon headlines

By brendon May 13, 2010 @ 6:58 PM

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BRITNEY SPEARS and HALLE BERRY - are just two of the big names who endorse perfumes filled with a toxic combination of chemicals that may cause sperm damage and cancer among other things. I don’t know what the other things are, but since the first two things extinguish your blood line and then murder you, they’re probably pretty irrelevant. (rwg)

LINDSAY LOHAN - won’t be one of the big stars at this years Cannes film festival because no one will sponsor her trip and she’s too broke to pay for it herself. If I were a porn producer with a bunch of coke in France, I’d be fedex’ing out plane tickets immediately. (page six)

GIRLS WRITING - wwtdd on themselves is my new favorite sport. In this case it’s Erica, who wants everyone to vote for her in a Anime Festival’s Maid Cafe Contest. And I know what you’re thinking. Yes. Those 5 words are almost completely unrelated. I know. But I read that email like 10 times, I swear to God that’s what it said. (youtube)

SHAUNA SAND and TAYLOR WANE - hung out on South Beach in bikinis today, but it’s probably best for everyone if we agree to pretend that they didn’t. (inf daily)

halle berry is single

By brendon April 30, 2010 @ 12:39 PM

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Halle Berry has broken up with her Canadian model boyfriend Gabriel Aubry after dating for the past four years, and having a child together in 2008.

It’s always sad when a couple breaks up, and since this isn’t a sad website, it’s a happy website (!), I thought a good way to cheer everybody up would be to post some pictures of Halles delicious titties. She’s probably filled with self doubt lately, so I bet she’ll be tickled pink to know that people all over the world are looking at her and masturbating. What a honor!

(giant nsfw ‘swordfish’ screencap here)

the golden globes were amazing

By brendon January 18, 2010 @ 11:23 AM

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Last night was one of the most important nights of the year in Hollywood and mandatory TV watching because I didn’t want to miss a second of Chargers-Jets on tivo ‘Law Abiding Citizen’ on early release bluray the premiere of ’24′ the Golden Globes!

The host had some real zingers, and when it came time to name the nights big winners, there were plenty of surprises and upsets mixed in with favorites walking away with awards. The stars really shined during their time on stage, and fun light hearted moments mixed with times of seriousness and reflection when called for. Remember that one guy! And that sexy girl! It was one of the best Golden Globes ever if you ask me.

(seriously, who gives a shit about these stupid award shows anymore? Not me, in case you couldn’t tell. But there’s a full list of winners under the cut if you do, weirdo)

Read more >

why halle? why?

By brendon October 16, 2009 @ 10:11 AM

Halle Berry At The 6th Annual Keep A Child Alive Black Ball

If there was a chart to measure hotness, Halle Berry would get the top score and then 100 more than that, and then this GIF. Or maybe this one. I don’t really know GIFs work to be honest with you.

Point being, normally she looks terrific, and she was off to a good start last night when she picked out that slutty dress, but there’s something about her head that’s freakin me out. I can’t quite put my finger on it. Oh wait never mind yes I can. It’s all pointy and I hate that stupid short hair and combined they make her look like a fairy or an elf or something. I don’t know I should jerk off or cast an enchanted shield spell.

(hq jump here. source = flynet online)

Aw that was so close

By brendon June 04, 2009 @ 2:31 PM

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Halle Berry was caught filming a Revlon commercial earlier today in Los Angeles, although as she adjusted her tits and pulled at her top, it almost went from “Ad for Makeup” to “Worlds Most Watched Video”. If anyone mashed together video of Halles tits and Keyboard Cat, they’d completely break the internet.

(image source = fame. hq jump = here)

Afternoon Headlines

By brendon May 28, 2009 @ 2:46 PM

EXCLUSIVE: Halle Berry Shopping In Sunset Plaza

TYRESE GIBSON – sang the National Anthem at the Lakers game last night and decided it would be a good idea to replace “our flag was still there” with “our Lakers were still there.”  And so he did, and it was.  His new version is interesting because it doesn’t make the slightest bit of God damn sense.  “The Lakers were still there”?  Where, floating above Fort McHenry?  Because that’s what you just said dipshit.  Hopefully someone else can change the words “Tyrese is not bleeding” to “Holy Shit I think that dude is dead.” (source = e!)

COURTNEY LOVE
– she denies that she owes AmEx $352,059.67, because she claims those charges we’re made on 140 different cards issued in her name.  Does shit like this happen to anyone but her and Homer Simpson? (source = tmz)

HALLE BERRY – I would kill at least 10 people if she would let me feel her tits for 30 seconds.  At least 10.  Probably more.  Probably way way more.  And I don’t just mean homeless people, I mean little kids who just got a 2400 on the SAT.  Just look at her.  Fuck those kids. (source = flynet)