Afternoon Headlines

By brendon May 28, 2009 @ 2:46 PM

EXCLUSIVE: Halle Berry Shopping In Sunset Plaza

TYRESE GIBSON – sang the National Anthem at the Lakers game last night and decided it would be a good idea to replace “our flag was still there” with “our Lakers were still there.”  And so he did, and it was.  His new version is interesting because it doesn’t make the slightest bit of God damn sense.  “The Lakers were still there”?  Where, floating above Fort McHenry?  Because that’s what you just said dipshit.  Hopefully someone else can change the words “Tyrese is not bleeding” to “Holy Shit I think that dude is dead.” (source = e!)

COURTNEY LOVE
– she denies that she owes AmEx $352,059.67, because she claims those charges we’re made on 140 different cards issued in her name.  Does shit like this happen to anyone but her and Homer Simpson? (source = tmz)

HALLE BERRY – I would kill at least 10 people if she would let me feel her tits for 30 seconds.  At least 10.  Probably more.  Probably way way more.  And I don’t just mean homeless people, I mean little kids who just got a 2400 on the SAT.  Just look at her.  Fuck those kids. (source = flynet)

halle berry is ready for another baby

By brendon March 31, 2009 @ 10:07 AM

It’s only been one year since Halle Berry gave birth with boyfriend Gabriel Aubrey to thier daughter Nahla Ariela, but Halle says she already knows she wants another.  People.com says…

Berry confirms to Ellen DeGeneres on her show that she wants another child.  "My mind says yes," she tells DeGeneres, "but the rest isn't up to me so we'll see."
Should it be up to Aubry, however, something could be in the works: He told PEOPLE in February that Nahla "needs a sibling." And, unlike Berry, he doesn't limit the numbers. Said the man who comes from a brood of eight, "I believe in big families."

Wow, well, I didn’t want to be the one to bring it up, I didn't want to put any pressure on her, but I've given it a lot of thought lately, and I'm also ready.  To stare at her enormous breasts again for 4 or 5 months.  I know it's impetuous, but I say we go for it!

halle berry at the academy awards

By brendon February 23, 2009 @ 2:13 AM

God damn Halle Berry is good looking.  I would stab a pony at my own kids birthday party if that somehow meant I could have sex with her.  I’m not sure why exactly that would get her to sleep with me, but by golly, I’ve got to try something!

(picture source = getty images)

I’D STILL HIT IT

By brendon December 18, 2008 @ 9:44 AM

Halle Berry is still filming that movie that sounds unwatchable, but in it she plays a crazy person.   This is Hollywood’s idea of a crazy homeless person.  Halle Berry.  You may notice Crazy Halle Berry is dressed very much like Sexy Halle Berry, except Crazy Halle Berry has boots instead of heels, and her face has scratches on it instead of my semen.   Oh that’s right.  I went east-west on that ass.  Jealous? 

(new pics and some more from yesterday, all from bauer griffin)



HALLE BERRY MAKES MOVIES WAY BETTER

By brendon December 17, 2008 @ 5:01 AM

"Frankie and Alice" is, according to IMDb, "a drama centered on a young woman (Berry) with multiple personality disorder who struggles to remain her true self and not give in to her racist alter-personality".  So when the director saw that he was shackled with this boring, dumb ass concept for a movie, he had to find a way to make it interesting, to get asses in the seats, so to speak.  He thought long and hard.  Then, one day … he had an idea.  "A-ha", he said. "I’ve got it!"

(picture source = bauer griffin)



HALLE BERRY LOOKS DIFFERENT

By brendon October 28, 2008 @ 8:08 AM

I don’t know why some smart ass hairdresser would do this to Halle Berry, but I assume it has something to do with being gay and secretly wanting women to look bad.  Like maybe his mom beat him with a pool cue or something.  In a related story, I would also like to beat him with a pool cue.

(picture source = inf daily)