why halle? why?

By brendon October 16, 2009 @ 10:11 AM

Halle Berry At The 6th Annual Keep A Child Alive Black Ball

If there was a chart to measure hotness, Halle Berry would get the top score and then 100 more than that, and then this GIF. Or maybe this one. I don’t really know GIFs work to be honest with you.

Point being, normally she looks terrific, and she was off to a good start last night when she picked out that slutty dress, but there’s something about her head that’s freakin me out. I can’t quite put my finger on it. Oh wait never mind yes I can. It’s all pointy and I hate that stupid short hair and combined they make her look like a fairy or an elf or something. I don’t know I should jerk off or cast an enchanted shield spell.

(hq jump here. source = flynet online)

Aw that was so close

By brendon June 04, 2009 @ 2:31 PM


Halle Berry was caught filming a Revlon commercial earlier today in Los Angeles, although as she adjusted her tits and pulled at her top, it almost went from “Ad for Makeup” to “Worlds Most Watched Video”. If anyone mashed together video of Halles tits and Keyboard Cat, they’d completely break the internet.

(image source = fame. hq jump = here)

Afternoon Headlines

By brendon May 28, 2009 @ 2:46 PM

EXCLUSIVE: Halle Berry Shopping In Sunset Plaza

TYRESE GIBSON – sang the National Anthem at the Lakers game last night and decided it would be a good idea to replace “our flag was still there” with “our Lakers were still there.”  And so he did, and it was.  His new version is interesting because it doesn’t make the slightest bit of God damn sense.  “The Lakers were still there”?  Where, floating above Fort McHenry?  Because that’s what you just said dipshit.  Hopefully someone else can change the words “Tyrese is not bleeding” to “Holy Shit I think that dude is dead.” (source = e!)

– she denies that she owes AmEx $352,059.67, because she claims those charges we’re made on 140 different cards issued in her name.  Does shit like this happen to anyone but her and Homer Simpson? (source = tmz)

HALLE BERRY – I would kill at least 10 people if she would let me feel her tits for 30 seconds.  At least 10.  Probably more.  Probably way way more.  And I don’t just mean homeless people, I mean little kids who just got a 2400 on the SAT.  Just look at her.  Fuck those kids. (source = flynet)

halle berry is ready for another baby

By brendon March 31, 2009 @ 10:07 AM

It’s only been one year since Halle Berry gave birth with boyfriend Gabriel Aubrey to thier daughter Nahla Ariela, but Halle says she already knows she wants another.  People.com says…

Berry confirms to Ellen DeGeneres on her show that she wants another child.  "My mind says yes," she tells DeGeneres, "but the rest isn't up to me so we'll see."
Should it be up to Aubry, however, something could be in the works: He told PEOPLE in February that Nahla "needs a sibling." And, unlike Berry, he doesn't limit the numbers. Said the man who comes from a brood of eight, "I believe in big families."

Wow, well, I didn’t want to be the one to bring it up, I didn't want to put any pressure on her, but I've given it a lot of thought lately, and I'm also ready.  To stare at her enormous breasts again for 4 or 5 months.  I know it's impetuous, but I say we go for it!

halle berry at the academy awards

By brendon February 23, 2009 @ 2:13 AM

God damn Halle Berry is good looking.  I would stab a pony at my own kids birthday party if that somehow meant I could have sex with her.  I’m not sure why exactly that would get her to sleep with me, but by golly, I’ve got to try something!

(picture source = getty images)


By brendon December 18, 2008 @ 9:44 AM

Halle Berry is still filming that movie that sounds unwatchable, but in it she plays a crazy person.   This is Hollywood’s idea of a crazy homeless person.  Halle Berry.  You may notice Crazy Halle Berry is dressed very much like Sexy Halle Berry, except Crazy Halle Berry has boots instead of heels, and her face has scratches on it instead of my semen.   Oh that’s right.  I went east-west on that ass.  Jealous? 

(new pics and some more from yesterday, all from bauer griffin)