After consulting with script supervisors for her reality show, Kendra Wilkinson has decided to give her cheating husband a second chance. When last we checked in with Kendra, she was tossing her wedding ring in the crapper after learning her husband was stroking tranny cock while she was just days from delivering their second child. After hearing secretly recorded audio tapes from Hanks tits and cock versatile hooker, Kendra now feels Hank was set up. What’s a grown man to do when your second kid’s crowning and a shiny new cock is available just seven exits down the 101? Kendra went so far as to defend her husband:
He was never a douchebag. He’s always been the most perfect man on Earth. Now he’s Superman without the cape.
If your wife calls you Superman after you’ve been unemployed for four years and cheated on her with another dude while she was pregnant, you ought consider sticking with her. That’s not to say there won’t be conditions for Hank’s return to the family fold. He’ll have to wear the knapsack of shame and carry the forgiveness shovel when out in pubic. Also, Hank can’t make fun of Kendra for wearing ponytails and playing in a woman’s soft ball league or any hint of reference to her being a lesbian, a former trailer park stripper, or her sex tapes. Let he or she who is super without cape cast the first stone.
Kendra Wilkinson has a new reality show coming on one of the seventeen ladies channels I’ve previously deleted from my remote channel lineup lest I accidentally grow tits and a fondness for grapefruit. The show’s called Kendra On Top, which I suppose is a multi-layered play on words related to the fact that’s how she made her way up in the business, or that she’s the dominant figure in her social sphere, or maybe it just randomly tested well with the 22-49 female demo that got free cheese sandwiches to sit for an hour in a marketing agency testing room. Fortunately for the show, Kendra’s husband got conjugal outed by a tranny hooker while his wife was eight months pregnant. Suddenly, the show has a real hook.
In the previews for the show, Kendra equates learning of her husband’s jock-on-cock infidelities to being shot by a bullet, repeatedly, right in her fake tits. It’s certainly evocative. She mentions that her marriage is down the drain and that she even flushed her wedding rings down the toilet to emphasize the metaphor. The last time a trailer park stripper who had to bone a creepy old man to get her first break in life flushed jewelry down a toilet was never. But I appreciate the dramatic scripting.
It’s hard to blame Kendra for any of this mess. If you’re a dude who can’t stop thinking about greasing up the male boner, you ought sneak that nugget out to your wife before you make two babies inside of her. She still might let you, but at least she’ll be able to time her reality show tears more precisely.
Even though Ava Sabrina London concludes her Hank Baskett erotic tale by casually noting Hank left her $500 just because, I’m willing to play along with this whole ‘mistress’ nomenclature. Hank, or ‘Steve’ as he called himself on that fateful day, found Ava through her YouTube site which naturally led to Ava inviting Hank over to her condo to see her dick tucked into her bikini. I’ve contacted a few YouTube video creators before, none of whom invited to their house to see them in bikinis. I feel kind of gypped. I probably should’ve said my name was Steve
For the sake of posterity and the children, Ava and her she-cock decided to give a tell-all interview to the National Enquirer recounting the twenty minutes she spent with Hank Baskett back in March. Her mistress story plays like a super creepy rape case deposition. I touched his penis, then he touched mine, then he touched my breasts, then we stopped because he came. Jesus, Hank, you are a romantic. The average time for a tranny hooker to spill her guts for cash about a celebrity encounter is about 48 hours, depending on if her crush fetish porn roommate knows the number for TMZ or RadarOnline or not. Sexual compulsion is a powerful bitch. So too is Kendra. Hank, you’re about to discover the backside sensation you would’ve felt if you’d stuck around Ava’s for another twenty minutes.