Harvey Weinstein Accuser A Pro

By Matt April 01, 2015 @ 8:04 AM

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Ambra Gutierrez, the model who accused Harvey Weinstein of groping her, testified against Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi in his underage prostitution case four years ago. Apparently Gutierrez found herself at one of Berlusconi’s summer house orgies not knowing there would be sex involved because even sometimes Romans fall asleep during Roman history She also sought damages for losing potential TV weather girl jobs in a separate trial, claiming her name being associated with the Berlusconi trial led people to believe she was the type of chick to show up at orgies and not participate. Weinstein’s people believe Gutierrez is a straight up opportunist:

“We believe this is a blackmail attempt, and he did nothing wrong”

The only gig easier than TV weather girl is serial sex charge lawsuit settlement person. It’s possible Weinstein did touch Gutierrez inappropriately. It’s also possible he touched her appropriately after she bent over to pick up a pencil she dropped on purpose right in front of his face and she wasn’t wearing panties and had drawn an arrow toward her pie hole with the words ‘Harvey, fuck me’ in red lipstick. Weinstein will cut a check and the charges will be dropped. What’s the barometric pressure in Tuscany? Now we’ll never know. Nice shirt.

Harvey Weinstein Handsy

By Lex March 31, 2015 @ 8:29 AM

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Here’s something to keep in the back pocket. When a 60-something rich dude invites a 20-something model to his private office to discuss her career, he intends to fuck the shit out of her. Not some of the time. Every single time. I’m not sure where this falls into the Rape Culture curriculum, but bump it up to first semester because it seems like a gimme. The Pope himself will plug you right in the papal hole if you fell for that simpleton ruse. The God of the bible is a God who values a practical lesson

Harvey Weinstein stands accused by a young Italian model of inviting her to his private offices in Manhattan to discuss her bright future then asking her if her tits were real and proceeding to check for himself. Being a man of unending appetites, he next went under her skirt. Imagine the horror of the ESL model prepared to recite Christopher Walken’s Watch monologue from Pulp Fiction for Weinstein and win herself a lead in the next Steve McQueen Oscar pic. She went to the cops. It’s not clear what case she might have against Weinstein once he declares, I didn’t do shit, and hoists the big ass Humanitarian Award he was awarded by the Simon Wiesenthal Center just last week. In all likelihood she’ll never still not work in this town again. It’s sad, but a harsh warning to other women coming to Hollywood, there is no such thing as half-fucked.

Photo credit: Getty Images

Harvey Weinstein Demands Apology

By Matt December 25, 2014 @ 7:13 AM

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Harvey Weinstein is apparently livid over Amy Adams being bumped from Today. It’s unclear why but possibly because he masturbates thinking about her and that means something. It’s possible Weinstein has actually calculated the loss of revenue for Adams being unable to promote the film to Today’s geriatric audience and wants to be reimbursed for his missing birthday card with the five bucks in it. Page Six, who either pays street people in Mickey’s Big Mouths to be anonymous sources, or simply skips that step and allows their writers to make up quotes with sock puppets on their hands, has this to offer:

Weinstein wants a formal apology or at least an independent investigation into what happened by an independent authority like Rudy Giuliani.”

Yeah and a helicopter and a million in cash. What the fuck are you talking about? My Source just told me Weinstein is going to bring Tupac back from his island to issue a complaint to Today in person unless they let Adams give an on-air dominatrix session to Matt Lauer. On second thought that checks out. He’s not the most powerful man in showbiz for nothing.

Photo Credit: Getty Images 

Ted Nugent Says Harvey Weinstein Is A Nazi

By Jack January 17, 2014 @ 3:32 PM

Ted Nugent shot off his ever open mouth again when he equated Miramax mogul Harvey Weinstein with the Nazis. Mind you, Weinstein is Jewish. But that didn’t stop Ted from invoking the world’s most overused analogy. It all started when Weinstein announced that he was going to make an anti-NRA movie in which, “We’re going to take this issue head on, and they’re going to wish they weren’t alive after I’m done with them.” Yeah, I’m sure they’re scared seeing as Hollywood’s last thousand movies portraying gun ownership negatively have really shifted the needle. Still, The Motor City Madfuck felt obliged to retort:

“Will see that Joseph Goebbels and Saul Alinsky is alive in the form a fat punk named Harvey Weinstein, and as he tries to destroy the NRA it will backfire on him. I don’t know if Harvey Weinstein has had a lifetime of drug and substance abuse, but he certainly sounds like it.”

Here’s what I know about gun control. It’s been debated since I was born and will be debated long after I’m dead. Nobody will agree on shit, but most likely the people with the guns will continue to win. That near certainty ought to make Harvey Weinstein quit flailing his fat arms around  in the air and ought to make Ted Nugent shut the fuck up more often. But I doubt either of those things will happen.