CARRIE FISHER - is the ultimate fantasy for millions of nerds, and apparently a few of those dorks got to make their dreams a reality. “I certainly have, along the way, slept with a nerd. But I don’t think I ever got anything out of it except the sex. Nerds will surprise you. They’re way more enthusiastic.” Remember when Sarah Michelle Gellar was considered sexy. What the hell was that all about? (the sun)
MICHAEL C. HALL AND JENNIFER CARPENTER - star on Dexter of course as brother and sister, but IRL have been married for the past 2 years. Now they’re getting divorced. That should be comfortable for next season. They should make her still sleep with him to ease the transition. Look honey, do you wanna be an actress or not? (ew)
KATY PERRY - wore this, I don’t know, toy soldier, I guess, outfit to play some radio stations concert in New York City. This chick is a fuckin weirdo.
LESLIE NIELSEN - died last night due to complications from pneumonia. The complication being that he had pneumonia. It’s sometimes forgotten that he was a respected dramatic actor until Airplane in 1980, which is still his best movie. The key to good satire is to not acknowledge any of the weird shit happening around you and play everything real serious. That’s what Scary/Epic/Disaster Movie doesn’t understand. Comparing those movies and Airplane as “satire” is like comparing the Notebook and Young Black Bucks Doin Mature Fatties as “love stories”. (roger ebert)
HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS - barely beat out Tangled ($50 million to $49 million) to win the weekend box office, but has now made a staggering $609 million worldwide in just 2 weeks. If it keeps this pace, it will make over 15 billion dollars by next year. I haven’t looked it up but I believe that would be a new record. (mojo 1, mojo 2)
CHELSEA HANDLER - spent Thanksgiving down in Cabo with new friend Jennifer Ansiton. Gosh, I wonder why Aniston seems to have a new cycle of friends every 9 months. How weird. Because she’s such a delight to be around. (splash)
HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS - opened this morning at 12:01am, and based on pre-ticket sales it has a shot at breaking The Dark Knights 158 million dollar opening weekend record. It’s made around 30 million already, but the entire weekend is expected to be packed with loser nerds in Harry Potter costumes, and me showing them what real power looks like in my Gandolf outfit. (deadline)
TOM HARDY - is all set to play the villain in the third Christopher Nolan Batman movie, and though it’s not known which one, the best current guess is it will be Dr. Hugo Strange, “a genius, mad scientist who becomes obsessed with Batman, learns his secret identity and ends up dressing up like him.” Maybe someone just try shooting him like 300 times. With a gun. I feel like that would work. (batman news)
THE SCHICK HYDRO GIRL - is Saras Gil, though I can barely even confirm that she exists. She’s 24, lives in Barcelona, I think. And that’s about it. I was amazed at how many emails came in about this chick, but I’m not here to judge. I jacked off to a constellation once, so, hey, whatever man. (youtube)
SALVATORE GIUNTA - was awarded the Medal of Honor today, the first living recipient in almost 40 years. The LA Times has a transcript of the Presidents speech here, and Giunta has a twitter page here (update - maybe just go to the US Army page for now), so if you wanted to say something to an actual hero, that might be a good place. Moving right along…
DEMI LOVATO - hopes to get out of rehab (for cutting) and back home before Thanksgiving. A good test would be to have her carve the turkey, and if she starts crying while going back and forth over one drumstick for five minutes, you know she left too soon. (e!)
RED RIDING HOOD - is a new movie from the director of Twilight, and it’s about exactly what you think it’s about, and here’s the first trailer. My favorite part was when it ended! (apple)
MEGAN FOX - is so pretty she doesn’t need to wear makeup and she can still look fantastic. Here she is running some errands today in Beverly Hills, perhaps to complete the Kim Possible outfit that she started. (flynet)
BATTLE OF LOS ANGELES - has reportedly exceeded studio expectations in a huge way, and now it finally has a full trailer. Here is a cap of what I guess is the monster or alien or whatever. But you know what the real monster is, my friends? Prejudice. (apple)
LINDSAY LOHAN - is so serious about drug rehab that she’s refusing to take painkillers after having teeth removed this week, according to a “source”. As has been stated before, the “source” is always her mom because Lindsay has no friends, and her mom lies with every breath. Lindsay did go to a dentist Tuesday but not to have teeth removed. It was a follow up to when she had wisdom teeth removed in June. Did they grow back? If so that means Lindsay is a crocodile. Granted, that would explain the leathery skin. (radar)
UK MAGAZINES - like Nuts love celebrity tits, and so do I, and so here’s 200 of them. Me and this magazine are like soul mates. We should get married.
JESSICA SIMPSON - says that, despite reports to the contrary, she’s “extremely, extremely happy” about Nick Lacheys engagement to Vanessa Minnillo. When asked for a comment, Jessica said, “I assume there will be cake at the wedding, is that correct?” When asked for a more specific comment, she said, “The cake goes in my tummy.” (us.com)
TRAVIS PASTRANA - who has 16 XGames gold medals, 2 motocross championships and the last 4 rally car championships, is moving to NASCAR in 2011 to drive for the newly formed Pastrana-Waltrip Racing team. Sounds to me like he only got the gig because of nepotism. (twitter)
VETERANS DAY - is today, and while many know about heroes like Salvatore Giunta (who will receive the Medal of Honor 5 days from today, the first living recipient since Vietnam) or Marine sniper Carlos Hathcock (ever hear the story about a sniper who shot another sniper through his own scope? That was Carlos), here’s 8 other animals who should be as famous. What they lack in notoriety, they make up for in video-game like killing power. (uproxx)
ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO - was of course the hottest one at last nights Victorias Secret fashion show, because she’s the single most perfect looking girl on earth ever. I would fuck this girls shoe.
