LINDSAY LOHAN - was in a bar, “belligerently drunk” and “falling all over the place” after doing shots “all night” Saturday, then around 2am she grabbed the wrist of a girl trying to take her picture while a friend took the girls camera and dunked it in an ice bucket. Why would she do this just 3 days after getting yet another “last chance” from a judge? Because Lindsay is an asshole, that’s why. (radar)
M BONE - of Cali Swag District (the group behind the dougie dance) was shot and killed during a drive-by outside a liquor store last night, perhaps by a guy he got into a fight with on twitter over a girl. If you have any information, contact the police on Black Stereotype Island. (tmz)
DONALD TRUMP - will not run for President, just like lots of other completely unqualified people with no chance of winning. (us)
GRETCHEN ROSSI - wore a bikini this weekend. “Who is Gretchen Rossi”, you may ask? Well that’s that’s a good question. I like your inquisitive nature. Let me know what you turn up. (bauer griffin)
TOM SIZEMORE - has been questioned by the LAPD about the disappearance of a 25-year-old girl named Megan Wren. Police think Sizemore might know something because he was friends with the girl, perhaps her boyfriend, and also because he’s genuinely crazy. Really, they should question him anytime anyone goes missing, whether he knew them or not. (e!, lapd missing persons blog)
CHELSEA HANDLER - made a seemingly harmless joke about Kirstie Alley being fat, and that’s apparently mean, despite the fact that Kirstie Alley is really fat. Are we all supposed to pretend like she isn’t? Screw that, she’s a monster. If she died today I wouldn’t know whether to call the coroner or a taxidermist. (popeater)
X-MEN FIRST CLASS - has their first movie clip up, with Charles Xavier and Mystique in a meeting at the CIA. Then some X-Menning goes on, and then Charles asks, “How’s that for a magic trick?” And the answer is, “Not very good”, because we saw how the girl did it. (yahoo)
GWYNETH PALTROW - decided her chest plate was sexy and showed it off last night in London at the National Movie Awards. If she were as pale as she normally is she’d look like a racquetball wall in a dress. (getty)
KATIE HOLMES - is not pregnant, according to her rep, who says the picture that started this rumor, “looks doctored”. To which Tom Cruise nervously asked, “Wait, so are you saying it’s fake or that the doctor made her pregnant again?” (e!)
KELLY BROOK - was nearly 5 months pregnant with her first child yesterday when she suffered a miscarriage. “Show your tits”, I tried not to think but couldn’t help myself. (ok!)
REAL STEEL - now has a full length trailer that explains much more about why you’ll hate this. (yahoo)
PAUL MCCARTNEY - will not have a pre-nup when he marries fiance Nancy Shevell, despite the fact that his 2008 divorce from Heather Mills cost him $40 million. “She let’s me stick it anywhere,” he explained. (daily mail)
RACHEL BILSON - was also at the Chanel fashion show in France yesterday. So I guess that was Mila Kunis I fucked last night. I always get them mixed up.
PAULA ABDUL - has officially signed on to reunite with Simon Cowell and be the fourth judge on ‘the X Factor’, because what the hell else is she gonna do. (thr)
THORS END CREDITS - had the fourth clip building up to next summers ‘the Avengers’, (the first 3 from ‘Iron Man’, ‘Iron Man 2′ and ‘the Incredible Hulk’ are above and here) but what does it mean? For one it means I was trapped in the center of the row for the entire credits because the nerds on either side of me wouldn’t move. (ew)
L.A. REID - has reportedly been meaner than Simon Cowell during the early judging on ‘the X Factor’. I’m sure they’ll fix that in post though so all the singers on the show are good and no one get’s made fun of. Fox certainly doesn’t want a show like that. (thr)
THOR - won the weekend box office with a 66 million dollar debut ($242M worldwide), beating ‘Fast Five’ ($32.5M) and the debuts for ‘Jumping the Broom’ ($13.7M) and ‘Something Borrowed’ ($13.1M), which were set up to be an alternative so girls could emasculate their boyfriend. (deadline)
X MEN: FIRST CLASS - has 3 new character trailers for Beast, Banshee, and Havok, also known as, “Oh I Thought That Was Young Cyclops”, “Who?”, and “The One Who Humps Out Laser Hoops”. (mtv)
CONAN THE BARBARIAN - has a new trailer out today, and at the end it mentions that this was shot in 3D, as if you couldn’t tell by the stunning percentage of pointy things flying at the screen. (yahoo)
COLUMBIANA - stars Zoe Saldana as an 80-pound lethal assassin, but it’s from the director of ‘Taken’ so I’m sure that’s all explained and it’ll make sense. (yahoo)
KELLY BROOK - is in the new UK Esquire, but unlike yesterday the issue is now out and so here are all the pictures. I sure would love to come across a girl who looks like this. So to speak. (esquire)
MILEY CYRUS - showed what a good dancer she is in concert, but how does she compare to Elaine Benes? The answer is clear: Miley Cyrus is the finest dancer of our generation. (youtube)
TREY PARKER AND MATT STONE - created ‘South Park’ of course, and if you don’t know they have a new play on Broadway called ‘The Book of Mormon’, and today it received 14 Tony nominations, the most of any play. It could be the best thing I have no intention of ever seeing. (popeater)
THE NEXT JAMES BOND MOVIE - will receive $45 million for product-placement, more than twice as much as the previous record holder (Lexus, Bulgari and American Express paid $20M to be in ‘Minority Report’). So expect dialogue like: “They’re right behind us James!” “Not for long, thanks to the smooth responsive handling of the all new BMW 5, whose standard rear view camera makes escaping a breeze.” (the australian)
KAT DENNINGS - is in ‘Thor’, and last night she was at the premiere at the El Capitan in L.A. Did you know her name, Kat, is short for Katherine? That is so neat and clever I thought I’d put some of her pictures up. And also because she has huge jugs. (getty)
