Tuesday morning headlines

JJ ABRAMS - has a new top secret movie project at Paramount, called Zanbato for now, with Japanese history and robotics as the major themes. One source described it as, "Swashbuckling robots with swords." Cool. So how long until someone points out that robots are made of... read more

Monday morning headlines

SUPERMAN - will face off against General Zod in the reboot, to be played by the excellent Michael Shannon. So, brace yourself, but Lindsay was lying to make it seem as if she was in demand. Although really I think she should be the one playing Lois Lane. And Zod. And... read more

Thursday afternoon headlines

DARREN ARONOFSKY - will no longer direct the Wolverine sequel, stating that it would keep him in Japan for over a year, and he didn't want to be apart from his family for that long. Also Japan glows in the dark now. (e.w.) THE X FACTOR - has found their first judge to... read more

Charlie Sheen edition headlines

If you told 10 people that you were planning to go on TV with some porn stars and call yourself a warlock and say how much you love drugs and tell your boss to go fuck himself, I bet almost none of them would say, "Oh yeah that's a good idea." And yet that's what Charlie... read more

Monday morning headlines

CHRIS BROWN - took a naked picture of himself in a mirror, and it leaked over the weekend. I'm sure this video scan of the picture reaches the bottom of his penis at some point. Let me know how it turns out. (media take out) RANGO - won the weekend box office with $38... read more

Thursday afternoon headlines

LINDSAY LOHAN - had a friend distract the clerk at the jewelry store while she stole that necklace, according to the surveillance video. Maybe next time the distraction should be to disable the surveillance video. (radar) THE HANGOVER 2 - has a teaser trailer, though... read more

Tuesday afternoon headlines

EMINEM - has cast porn star Sasha Grey to star in his video for Space Bound. If there's not a lyric about his semen being "face bound", now would be the time to add it. (the sun) ALYSSA MILANO - is pregnant for the first time, with her husband Dave Bugliari, an agent at... read more

afternoon headlines

KACEY JORDAN - is the porn star who won't stop talking about her time with Charlie Sheen, and now she even says she had an abortion last Thursday that could have been his. Or it could have been from a different celebrity the week before. She doesn't really sweat the... read more

Monday morning headlines

UNKNOWN - won the weekend box office with $21.8 million, but the heavily hyped I Am Number Four only managed 3rd place with 19.2. So apparently you can be a brooding teenager with special powers and a forbidden love all you want, but if you're not a vampire, fuck off. (... read more

afternoon headlines

STEVE JOBS - has fought a rare form of pancreatic cancer for 7 years, but now reportedly has just 6 weeks to live. It's not that there isn't a cure for pancreatic cancer, it's just that it's on youtube and he can't open the file. (the enquirer) ASHLEY SIMPSON - filed... read more

afternoon headlines

AMANDA SEYFRIED - moved into a new house today, but without the help of her boyfriend Ryan Phillipe. Probably because he was busy hitting on Rihanna. But what do you expect, he's not magic, he can't be in two places at once. Be reasonable. (us.com) GLEE - has only been... read more

morning headlines

SCARLETT JOHANSSON - is 26, and she's "smitten" with Sean Penn, who is 50. Obviously Penn is a jackass but I hope I can still nail girls half my age when I'm 50. And that my wife won't be all cunty about it. (us) X-MEN: FIRST CLASS - will release it's first trailer... read more