Monday headlines, with romance and fitness

By brendon June 27, 2011 @ 2:58 PM

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DAVE CHAPELLE – walked around NYC this weekend, and if you’re wondering what he’s been doing since he left ‘The Chapelle Show’, the answer apparently is, “millions of push-ups.” (flynet)

BRAVE – has a new brand new teaser trailer out today. It would seem next summers Pixar movie tells the timeless tale of Bear vs Ginger. (trailer addict)

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS – announced his engament to David Burtka on twitter this weekend, shortly after New York passed a law to allow gay marriage. It should be a beautiful ceremony, assuming God doesn’t smite the state under a shower of fire and brimstone first. (popeater)

DANIEL CRAIG AND RACHEL WEISZ – secretly got married in New York last Wednesday. They of course didn’t have to wait like Neil Patrick Harris did because their love isn’t an affront to our vengeful God. (daily mail)

JWOWW – and the cast of ‘Jersey Shore’ are back from filming season 4 in Italy, and being surrounded by all that beauty and culture must have been a life changing experience because yesterday she went to the gym with her tits on display. Oh wait never mind. (inf, splash)

Thursday headlines, with romance and danger!

By brendon June 23, 2011 @ 2:19 PM

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LINDSAY LOHANS PUBLICIST- is upset that someone sold a picture of an open wine bottle at Lindsays house because he would have paid more for it and her current drinking, “never would have been an issue.” Because if I can’t see the problem, there is no problem. That’s what I tell girls when they claim I got them pregnant too. (e!)

EMMA STONE AND ANDREW GARFIELD - are now dating. I bet she made him lasagna. (ny post)

DANIEL RADCLIFF – is on Broadway these days starring in ‘How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying’, but last nights performance was cancelled because a 29-year-old stagehand died of cardiac arrest, the result of a drug overdose, right before the curtain went up. He should have asked Daniel about that Horcrux thing. (ny times)

MATT LAUER – flew from NY to LA on Tuesday to interview Lindsay Lohan, but then she locked herself in her bedroom and refused to do the interview she already agreed to for less than $100,000. This must be some of that dedication to hard work she’s so committed to now. (page six)

ALYSSA CAMPANELLA – is in New York doing promotion this week, which is nice because I keep forgetting that our current Miss USA is a hot ass ginger. Fuck you, Canada! (splash and wenn)

Thursday headlines, with the return of Dave Chapelle

By brendon June 16, 2011 @ 6:47 PM

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DAVE CHAPELLE – is creating a new show that will air on a subscription service like Netflix or Hulu, where all the best comedies are found. (the daily)

TUPAC – would have been 40 today, and his 1996 murder is still unsolved, but yesterday a man claimed that he was hired by rap mogul James Rosemond to rob and shoot Tupac. Pac survived but later was killed in a similar ambush. Rosemond is denying these charges, but we should tell him Justin Bieber called him a fag and dared him to retaliate just in case. (fox)

OPRAH WINFREY – has a plan to boost her fledging cable network, OWN; “I have a dream of O.J. Simpson confessing to me. And I am going to make that happen.” And I have a dream where the guards forget to search OJ before leaving him alone with Oprah, and then things don’t go so well if you catch my drift. (thr)

BELEN RODRIGUEZ – did a photo shoot today in Ibiza, Spain, and who is Belen Rodriguez, you may ask? She’s a model from Argentina who looked better in these pictures before I opened the thumbnails but after I bought them from the photo agency, that’s who. (splash)

Monday headlines, with pregnant bride Lily Allen

By brendon June 13, 2011 @ 1:56 PM

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KIM KARDASHIAN – was accused of cheating on her fiance after an NFL player named Brett Lockett told InTouch they’d been having a “physical relationship” for 5 months, but now he admits he’s never actually met her face to face. His dick must be huge. (e!)

SUPER 8 – was number 1 at the box office with $37M, because movie theaters don’t give refunds. (ew)

BOOK OF MORMON – is the musical written by Matt Stone and Trey Parker of ‘South Park’ (amazon has the cast recording on sale for $1.99), and last night it won 9 of the 14 Tony awards it was nominated for, including Best Musical and Best Director for Parker. The other “director” nominees told the actors to face the back wall and just wing it. It was foolish direction in hindsight. (people)

LILY ALLEN – got married this weekend, then announced that she’s 4 months pregnant, then took wedding pictures in a graveyard, yet still got upstaged by her older sister Sarah Owen, who wore this slutty dress. At least according to me. I love sluts! (sun, splash, wenn)

Wednesday headlines

By brendon June 08, 2011 @ 1:58 PM

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THE HANGOVER 3 – is already in development, and Zach Galafianakis says the story will center around his character getting sprung from a mental institution. In other words, expect to see his ass in a hospital gown. (rolling stone)

SALT 2 – could be on the way now that Angelina Jolie has agreed to do it and Sony has hired Kurt Wimmer to write a script. Might I suggest showing her ass in a hospital gown. (mtv)

SIENNA MILLER – got an apology from London tabloid News of the World after they published information they learned after hacking her cell phone. Pardon me, a “sincere” apology. So that seems fair. Look Sienna, we could go back and forth all day about who’s to blame and never get to the bottom of it, but they obviously feel terrible so let’s just call it even. (the ap)

NAOMIE HARRIS – who might best be known for playing voo doo witch/Calypso in ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ 2 and 3, is in talks to be the female lead in the next James Bond movie. Will she get it? Oh, I’m on pins and needles! (ew)

RAMONA NITU – was on ‘Jersey Shore’ last season, and yesterday she was on South Beach, and… ok, I’m not gonna lie to you; posting these pictures seemed like a much better idea when they were just thumbnails. (bauer griffin)

Thursday headlines, with Michelle Hunziker in a bikini

By brendon June 02, 2011 @ 7:34 PM

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ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER – had lunch with his son Patrick today, and things seem to go fine. Which sucks because wouldn’t it be badass if he went all apeshit with some kind of Oedipus complex. The Kennedys are all nuts so I figure there’s still time. (popeater)

KIM KARDASHIAN – is now engaged of course, but was the proposal filmed as footage for her reality show? Oh gosh, I wonder what the answer is. (people)

JANE LYNCH – will host the Emmys this year, a very prestigious honor only trusted to those who have proven they can read a teleprompter. (la times)

MICHELLE HUNZIKER – has been lounging around at the beach in Varigotti, Italy, for about a week now. Because she’s a model. What the hell did you think she was gonna do, go around solving crimes? (splash news)