Morning Headlines

By brendon June 09, 2009 @ 6:42 AM

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RUSSELL CROWE – has worked with director Ridley Scott 4 times already, but things are not going so well on the set of their untitled Robin Hood project. “The producers had to fly to London because Russell and Ridley won’t talk to each other. Every time they stop filming, it costs the production millions of dollars.” The movie has a budget of 175m already but it will likely go way over that. Which is all you need to know about Hollywood. Filming 90 minutes of guys in the woods with bows and arrows made of sticks can somehow cost more than a 6 month vacation on the moon. (source = Page Six)

LINDSAY LOHAN – is apparently back on with Samantha RonOH MY FUCKING GOD these two are so boring. (source = Sun UK)

HOW COOL IS THIS – even though every third word on this page is “I” or “me”, I don’t actually talk about myself on here because unlike some I don’t feel my website is my personal fucking diary and promotion machine, but how cool is that banner picture? That is it my friends. The actual bar of soap Brad Pitt holds in the Fight Club promos and the image we tricked for the website header. I got it thanks to a heads up from Tim Sykes, who I wanted to thank publicly. It’s actually aluminum and weighs about two pounds. It’s silver obviously and not pink because when they made pink ones the font didn’t show up in the pics. So they made this and photoshopped the color later. (other pics here and here and here)

Afternoon Headlines

By brendon June 08, 2009 @ 11:52 AM

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LINDSAY LOHAN – “I watched open-mouthed as Linds sat with her straggly hair all over her face looking strangely detached from the world and mumbled: ‘I feel so, like, caged. Totally caged’ … ‘She just wouldn’t stop saying she felt caged … it really was like watching a broken girl in the middle of a complete breakdown.’  My jaw once again dropped as Lindsay – who had a vodka in hand throughout the night – squirmed around as if trying to hide in a ball on the floor.”

I think she’s reverted back to being a monkey. Cool. (source = Mirror UK)

DARREN THE WAVING GOAT -  It’s a goat.  And he waves.  (source = Metro UK).

HEIDI AND SPENCER – No not really.  People do realize we don’t have to play along and get all exasperated when these two fuckin inbreds do things with the sole intention of irritating everyone, right?  I promise this will be the last time you ever see either of their names on this page.

Audrina and her big tits in Vegas are a different story. I just hope that badass with the spiked hair doesn’t mind me posting these.  I’d hate to get on his bad side. I’m gonna go lock my doors just in case Eeeeekk!  Oh God I thought I saw him outside!  And then I got real scared because he’s so tough looking.  (hq jump = here)

Afternoon Headlines

By brendon June 03, 2009 @ 3:06 PM

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KIM KARDASHIAN – is engaged to Reggie Bush, although no date has been set for a wedding.  Saints fans are probably surprised.  If he likes being behind enormous asses this much you’d think he’d wait for his offensive lineman to set their blocks before bolting into the back of them and then falling down. (source = star)

BILL MURRAY – is dangerous.  McG, director of “Terminator 4″ and “Charlies Angles”, said, “I’ve been headbutted by an A-list star. Square in the head. An inch later and my nose would have been obliterated.” He then flat-out said it was Murray, but didn’t seem too upset about it. Being near Cameron Diaz can do that.  No matter how bad you think you may look, you can look at her and feel better about yourself.  (source = the guardian)

TILA TEQUILA – You may have heard the rumor that she’s pregnant.  Just now.  As you read that opening sentence.  But on her blog today she posts a bunch of swimsuit pics to refute that rumor.  And you must admit, she can jump slightly and also sit down.  Case Closed!  (source = tilas hot spot. hq jump = here)

Afternoon Headlines

By brendon May 28, 2009 @ 2:46 PM

EXCLUSIVE: Halle Berry Shopping In Sunset Plaza

TYRESE GIBSON – sang the National Anthem at the Lakers game last night and decided it would be a good idea to replace “our flag was still there” with “our Lakers were still there.”  And so he did, and it was.  His new version is interesting because it doesn’t make the slightest bit of God damn sense.  “The Lakers were still there”?  Where, floating above Fort McHenry?  Because that’s what you just said dipshit.  Hopefully someone else can change the words “Tyrese is not bleeding” to “Holy Shit I think that dude is dead.” (source = e!)

COURTNEY LOVE
– she denies that she owes AmEx $352,059.67, because she claims those charges we’re made on 140 different cards issued in her name.  Does shit like this happen to anyone but her and Homer Simpson? (source = tmz)

HALLE BERRY – I would kill at least 10 people if she would let me feel her tits for 30 seconds.  At least 10.  Probably more.  Probably way way more.  And I don’t just mean homeless people, I mean little kids who just got a 2400 on the SAT.  Just look at her.  Fuck those kids. (source = flynet)

Afternoon Headlines

By brendon May 27, 2009 @ 1:56 PM

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MICHAEL LOHAN – Lindsays dad was apparently arrested on April 6th for threatening to kill his fiancée and himself when she tried to break up with him.  I wonder if that worked.  I normally just beg and cry and lay down in front of her tires. (source = ny post)

AMERICAN IDOL – AT&T employees attended two “American Idol” parties in Kris Allens home state, and they brought demo phones and showed how to send up to 10 text messages at once.  AT&T is the only network that can be used to vote on Idol with a text.  Idol says this did not effect who won, but some are saying this was a plot to keep the gay guy from winning.  And it worked.  It was risky, but sending store reps to parties in Arkansas was the only possible way for producers to fix the show.  (source = people)

HAYLIE DUFF – before you could be polite to Haylie Duff and say, “she’d be pretty like her sister if she just got a nose job.” Now she’s ugly and you can’t blame it on anything. So thanks Haylie, thanks for making everything real awkward. (image source = pacific coast)

Morning Headlines

By brendon May 26, 2009 @ 5:52 AM

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MIKE TYSON -  his 4-year-old daughter is on life support after being found hanging from a treadmill cord.  What a pervert!  (source = us.com)

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE -  “Star Trek” came in third, bringing it’s three week haul to 191m. “T4” was second with 67m in 5 days, but “Night at the Museum” won the weekend with a 70m opening.   73 percent of the audience for “Museum” were families or people under 25.  Which probably means kids.   In a related story, kids are fucking retards who will watch absolutely anything. (source = variety)

AVRIL LAVIGNE -  she went to Malibu beach yesterday, and was every bit as annoying as you remember her being.  Her husband probably stayed home to suck his own dick.  Best sex he’d had in three years.  (jump to hq here)