By Lex May 26, 2014 @ 3:33 PM
Thanks to Donald Sterling and the Duck Commander and vast swaths of sub-Saharan Africa, The AIDS gets a really bad rap. But, make no mistake, it’s an everyman’s disease. At least, you should repeat that if you ever get invited to one of these amFAR galas they schedule around the big international film festivals throughout the year. This amFAR fund raiser in Cannes had so many good looking models and actresses walking into the party, it mimicked the conquest scrapbook Leonardo DiCaprio shows everybody who dares call him a dandy. I don’t know all these world class ladies. Heidi Klum, Kylie Minogue, Nicole Scherzinger, a bunch of other girls ready to raise money to fight the scourge of The AIDS. There’s no compelling reason to compare disease galas, but let’s be totally honest, Crohn’s and Lupus can’t draw this kind of talent. The super hot girls come strong for The AIDS. As long as I keep staring at their titties, I won’t be forced to confront the irony.
Photo credit: Pacific Coast News
By Lex April 16, 2014 @ 2:42 PM
You can’t just want then, cougar cub, you need to say you want them. Heidi Klum has one rule when it comes to mounting the multitude of young cock she intends to ride because she’s 40 and rich and horny. You must appreciate the flapjacks. She will shove them in your face, ring the triangle and show them to the world, and even draw smiley faces on them for her children’s school carnivals. In all cases, respect the titties or get the fuck out. I’m not sure how young Frenchy is handling the supplication before his older girlfriend’s drooping yams. If he’s having an inkling to wonder why a chick with all the cash in the world wouldn’t get a 90210 light lift, he better hide it. Or the cougar moves on and you get none, son.
Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News, AKM-GSI
By Lex April 07, 2014 @ 4:52 PM
When you know your super fresh older girlfriend left her husband for her bodyguard, you get kind of sensitive about the dude who follows her around 7×24 to make sure nobody steals her clutch with the lipstick and the strudel flavored condoms. Heidi’s young French boyfriend didn’t like her latest bodyguard which I take to mean he assumed there was a high probability of boning, so he insisted Heidi get this new short dude with the beard to shadow her at events. One issue the cougar ladies haven’t quite figured out yet is how to deal with the jealousy of young men. Men are annoying insecure bitches when young. It’s part of that whole alpha male procreative my sperm must win legacy. At some point, you get to the age where so long as you’re getting some, you don’t even hear your rich German girlfriend telling you she’s off to buy a cock ring and a Hitler mustache for her hunky bodyguard. Let him deal with her gluten-free diet and need for emotional attachments. You just want to watch the ball game in peace.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Lex April 01, 2014 @ 4:11 PM
Heidi Klum’s hormones are raging and some lucky young man in the Bahamas is about to be the next beneficiary. Make no mistake, that oversized floppy hat isn’t there to protect Heidi from the deadly ultraviolet rays of El Sol, it’s to hide her sexually bent ill intents. Her vagina is thirsty and only the domination of every cock above the prevailing legal age of sixteen will slake it’s thirst. Just look at that whorecat on the hunt. This is like those viral clips of submerged crocs waiting for the gnus by the watering hole. If only the gnu knew how Heidi Klum was about to bang him senseless.
Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News
By Lex March 24, 2014 @ 5:13 PM
Heidi Klum is forty and rich and banging the crap out of every hot guy she please. She already did the offspring thing, she made four, and the marriage thing with that creepy looking Kiss from a Rose fellow,. Now, she’s just one put happy horny divorcee nailing a 20-something celebrity kid in Paris and suntanning in the Bahamas with a brand new hunky bodyguard she hired to replace the last one she was mounting at will before he got too close and wanted to talk and discuss feelings and know where the relationship was headed. Heidi didn’t need that kind of distraction. The feminists may never cop to it, but this is the woman you want to be. She’s not just talking about her vagina, she’s making it squeak with joy. On her own dime and by her own schedule. I’d be happier for Heidi if she weren’t more man than I’ll ever be.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Splash
By Travis March 10, 2014 @ 11:00 AM
Ageless supermodel Heidi Klum proved once again that she’s just as normal and down to Earth as the rest of us, as she took her kids to soccer practice and shot the shit with the other wealthy parents while their kids all got the same trophy for participation, because screw rewarding the better players when there are feelings on the line. Heidi kept the juice boxes and apple slices handy for her kids on the sideline, and I’m pretty sure that she wore a white shirt with a black bra so that when the game was over, the players would dump the Gatorade cooler on her. If that’s not what happened, then those little brats really need to get their shit together and start thinking like a team.
Photo Credits: WENN.com