By brendon January 24, 2012 @ 10:08 AM
This won’t make a ton of sense, but yesterday, just a few hours after Heidi Klum and Seal announced that they were getting a divorce and ending their 7 year marriage, Seal was wearing his wedding ring and saying how awesome Heidi Klum is on the Ellen Degeneres show:
“Yes, I am still wearing my ring. I think it’s just pretty much a token of how I feel about this woman. We have eight years.
“Just because we have decided to separate doesn’t necessarily mean you take off your ring and you’re no longer connected to that person.
“We will be connected in many ways ‘til the rest of our lives.”
It’s a good thing Seal has always seemed so dignified, because that could have easily sounded creepy instead of romantic. Especially with him looking so, I don’t know, so “tribal”. I’d be scared to date Heidi next. He looks like he’d eat your heart to gain your powers.
(image source = pacific coast)
By brendon January 23, 2012 @ 9:31 AM
Heidi Klum and Seal have had 4 kids during their seemingly happy 7 year marriage, but now those kids are orphans or whatever because Klum and Seal are getting a divorce. Last night, they released this controversial statement…
“We have had the deepest respect for one another throughout our relationship and continue to love each other, but our six-year-old son Henry still wets the bed. It’s so embarrassing! We can’t even have his friends over anymore because he’ll pee on them. I don’t know what his deal is. He must like it, the little pervert. Does sham-wow make sheets? Because we’d buy some. Anyway, this led to a lot of tension in the house and that led to fights. So thanks a lot you little dick! Way to ruin our family.”
Wow, nice job Henry. Hey look, your mom is crying again, is this what you wanted, are you happy now?
By brendon October 31, 2011 @ 10:36 AM
Heidi Klum held her annual Halloween party at TAO in Vegas this weekend and, as always, she had the most elaborate costume there, this time wearing this muscle diagram thing complimented with some sexy heels. So this is sort of what Heidi Klum will look like after she dies and I dig her up and take her on a date.
(image source = splash)
By brendon October 27, 2011 @ 4:02 PM
Heidi Klum doesn’t win Halloween every single year by accident. It takes a lot of time and effort to look that goofy, and that’s why she already has costumes for two of her parties planned out. As you can see one is some hand-painted anatomy thing and the other is a monkey. Is there any way to say the ears and bald head make her look like Forest Whitaker without sounding off-the-charts racist?
(source = wire image)
By brendon August 15, 2011 @ 1:46 PM
It was a real bounty of middle aged boobs this weekend, as Heidi Klum was topless on the beach in Porto Cervo, Italy (this would be a good day to follow me on twitter, btw). Which makes it sound way way hotter than it was because her kids were there, her parents were there, and she doesn’t look very good. The only way these pictures could be any more disappointing is if she took out her dick.
(image source = flynet)
By brendon August 02, 2011 @ 3:18 PM
Heidi Klum spent this morning with her husband Seal and their 4 kids on a yacht off the coast of Ibiza, Spain, because yes, the whole god damn world has a yacht except for me and you apparently.
(image source = bauer griffin)