By brendon August 30, 2010 @ 1:10 PM
The Hollywood Reporter says the ratings for last nights Emmy Awards were just slightly higher than last year (a 10.0 in 2009, a 10.1 for 2010) which proves that people will watch anything because that show never makes any god damn sense. First of all, everyone always looks like hell. January Jones looked like a fishing lure, and Anna Paquin dressed up like Judge Dredd.
Then on top of that, the winners usually suck, highlighted last night by Jim Parsons winning Best Actor in a Comedy. What they’re saying is that the funniest person on TV this year was a guy on ‘the Big Bang Theory’, and that he was better in a comedy than Larry David or Alec Baldwin, or Adam Scott in ‘Party Down’ or Joel McHale in ‘Community’.
How does someone that simple minded even figure out how to vote? How many ballots were sent before they stopped eating them? It would be like an award for a suspense movie, and ‘the Usual Suspects’ losing to a home movie of someone playing ‘Got Your Nose’ with a toddler. “Where did it go?’, Emmy voters would cry out in disbelief!
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By brendon August 05, 2010 @ 3:14 PM
Heidi Klum and Seal and their kids are in Portofino, Italy, and these pictures suck, not only because Heidi doesn’t look like Heidi anymore, but because how many god damn yachts are there? Does everyone have one but me? I’d settle for any kind of boat right now. Not to go sailing, but to inflict terror. Because this yachting aristocracy is making me feel bad about myself.
By brendon November 20, 2009 @ 1:50 PM
The famous Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show was held in New York City last night, and Heidi Klum is fantastic looking but she’s not exactly 19 anymore, and she gave birth to her fourth child just 6 weeks ago. So many kids have come through her vagina you’d think Disneyland was on the other side.
Point being, they can’t exactly whore her up like they used to, so her pictures are a little disappointing. They should replace her. A logical choice would be my beloved Kimberly Phillips (nsfw playboy pic here, facebook here). You wouldn’t have a car show with a 2003 BMW headlining would you? No, you’d have what’s next. This is the same thing, except maybe worse because I could still at least hump the BMW.
(FASCINATING SIDE NOTE – someone from playboy who was at the shoot emailed to say that the book Kimberly is reading in this nsfw picture is ‘Rant’. By Chuck Palahniuk. Author of ‘Fight Club’. Which stars Tyler Durden. Oh, I know right? This hot skinny bitch is so perfect she probably tastes like strawberries and can move things with her mind too.)
(picture source = getty images and playboy cyber club)
By brendon October 30, 2009 @ 9:02 AM
LINDSAY LOHAN – is sleeping with guys again. Or at least she left a hotel with one, a model named Pete Smith. Wow, sex with Lindsay Lohan! What an amazing accomplishment. She must think he’s really special. (the sun)
ASHLEE SIMPSON – might have been kicked off ‘Melrose Place’ because Heather Locklear wanted to be the only big name star. Although it’s hard to believe that anyone who considers Ashlee Simpson a threat would even have enough clout to get a sandwich, much less final say on casting. (star)
BATMAN VANISHING – this is one of the most popular videos anywhere right now, probably because it’s awesome. (college humor)
HEIDI KLUM – is the star of the new book ‘Rankin’s Heidilicious’. Those two words seem to be complete jibberish, but when you have a book with dozens of naked Heidi Klum pictures, you could call it ‘This Book Is Made Of Poison’ and still sell a billion copies.
By brendon October 09, 2009 @ 5:24 PM
DAVID LETTERMAN – made a second on-air apology to his wife, because she pretty much threatened to cut his nuts off if he didn’t. “He wanted the whole thing to blow over. But Regina told him he better make an apology to let everyone know how sorry he was for how much he hurt and humiliated her.” Haha, what a loser! He’s so p-whipped! People laugh at me because I’ve never had sex or kissed a girl or talked to a girl, but suddenly my crushing loneliness doesn’t look so bad! Oh … wait. No. No it still does. (fox news)
HEIDI KLUM – gave birth at 1am to a baby girl she named Lou Samuel. It’s her 4th child, but the first that might very well look like something from outer space. (radar)
NIKKI – I’m in love with the Cute College Girl of the Day. I love her wholly and completely. I would kill for her, I would die for her, I want to marry her and have a family and spend the rest of our lives together. (college humor)
TARA REID – went completely naked on Wednesday for a photo shoot for Playboy. She’s 33 now, and she’s of course had several plastic surgeries, so hopefully her tits look better now than they did back in 2004 when her nipples looked like the dial on a safe. (14 pics here. hq jump here. story source = intouch)
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Heidi Klum and her enormous pregnant breasts tired to spend a fun day with her kids at a park in New York City yesterday, but some old lady had to come up and ruin everything. I think she propositioned her, because Heidi looks disgusted, and the old lady is doing the “I wanna grab those big titties” hand gesture. Jeez, not in front of the kids, you sicko.