Heidi Montag? On a date with her douchebag husband at the Santa Barbara Zoo yesterday? Kissing? But they said they were getting divorced! They even filed they paperwork!
Oh my goodness, so they were lying this whole time to get attention? Oh I can hardly believe it. I bet you see this in your local newspapers News Of The Weird column this week.
(source = pacific coast)
Now there are even more new pictures of Heidi Montag last week in Costa Rica, this time as she bravely tries surfing for the first time. It didn’t go very well for some unknowable reason, but now we have bikini pictures of a girl with big tits. “Even more bikini pictures”, I should say. If I were religious I’d say a prayer and give thanks for the plentiful bounty o’ this day.
(image source = pacific coast)
Heidi Montag is back in LA now, but today there are sexy new paparazzi pictures of her in Costa Rica last week. As you can see in the picture above, she was frolicking in the ocean with a photographer, as people do, when a wave crashed in and took her bikini top off!
Waaiit, wait, I jumped the gun. My bad. Her bikini is still on.
Oh never mind it is off. I guess I was mistaken. At first it appeared as if the wave didn’t pull her top off, but then later you can see that it did. No doubt there’s some reasonable explanation for how that happened. I should send her one of those cards that play that “so you had a bad day” song, to show I sympathize with all the bad luck she’s having.
(source = pacific coast news)
Heidi Montag has been in Costa Rica for a few weeks now, but she keeps busy by pretending to sell a sex tape and pretending to divorce her husband and pretending get her implants taken out.
At least she better not get her implants taken out. Huge tits are the only good thing about her. They’re perfect. And sexy. And practical. If you laid some kind of waterproof fabric on top of her boobs, you could mention that on your taxes, and write her off as a new roof.
(image source = pacific coast)
CONAN O’BRIEN - has named his new show. He should have just called it ‘the Tonight Show’. NBC would go all apeshit but our court system is so fuked up it would take 10 years to sort everything out, and even then there’s an excellent chance a jury would rule for Conan. Never underestimate the power of shitty thinking. (huff post)
HEIDI MONTAGS SEX TAPE - is not being released, and all negotiations to sell it to Vivid have stopped. Which sucks. I was really looking forward to the 90 seconds I was gonna spend scanning through it before turning it off and watching a real porn. (tmz)
MEL GIBSON - is still really popular. 76 percent of people in a recent poll from Vanity Fair and 60 Minutes said they are just as likely to see one of his movies now as they were before his scandals. He was less popular in a poll from 106 and Park however, where 100 percent of respondents voted for, “Fuck dat. Im’a kick dat mothafuckas teef out.” (cbs)
LINDSAY LOHAN - used to get in trouble because she went to bars every night. Bars like Chateau Marmont. Then she went to rehab for the fifth time. And now she goes to bars every night. Like last night. When she went to Chateau Marmont. This is starting to look like a “Ransom of Red Chief” kind of thing, where UCLA just wanted to get rid of her. (radar)
HALLE BERRY - broke up with boyfriend Gabriel Aubry back in April after dating for 4 years, but they looked like the perfect family yesterday in London with their daughter. It’s nice to see two beautiful millionaires finally catch a break. (daily mail)
KARISSA SHANNON - confirms that she made a lesbian sex tape with Heidi Montag, and that Heidis husband stole it, but says she never wanted or expected anyone to see it. So the root of the problem appears to be that she doesn’t understand what cameras do. (radar)
LINDSAY LOHAN - wants Lou Taylor and Larry Rudolph, who managed the comeback of Britney Spears, to do the same for her. If step 1 was to wear a see-thru shirt and show off her tits, mission accomplished. (ny post)
