By Travis November 29, 2013 @ 12:00 PM
Having never actually been talented or had a reason to be famous, Heidi Montag once had a ton of cosmetic work done so people would think she was really attractive, and that included having her breasts enlarged as if they were made by Reebok and her nipples had “PUMP” printed across them. Meanwhile, she apparently never considered that having F cups could cause her health issues, or she disregarded medical advice, because she finally had her breasts reduced to a more subtle and understated C, because she’d been experiencing back pains and numbness in her arms, according to the Daily Mail.
And there are some new pictures of post-reduction Heidi, but they were pretty normal-looking, so here she is with her F cups at Wet Republic in 2011. Look at them while playing a sad song to remember Heidi’s breasts, in case you had any idea she still existed.
Photo Credits: Getty
By Travis November 20, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
In case you were wondering what hapless reality TV dipshits Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were up to, and I know that you really were, they just got home from a swank vacation in Cabo, where they undoubtedly got away from the troubles of nobody giving a flying rat’s ass about them. Heidi, of course, has had quite a bit of plastic surgery performed on her entire body over the years, so it’s pretty strange to see her dressed down and looking plain, but at least now we know the answer to the question, “What would James Spader look like with long blonde hair?”
Photo Credits: WENN.com
By Jack November 01, 2013 @ 12:15 PM
Heidi Montag is about to lose a third of her fame and talent by getting breast reduction surgery. The vapid fame and beauty chaser once got ten Barbie Doll style plastic surgeries in one day, some of which were to give her size F yabbos. That’s show stopping stripper range cup letters. It turns out that putting ginormous breasts on a girl who hates her father too much to eat causes all kinds of back problems. So, she’s getting them cut down to a more manageable D cup. It’s hard to say what impact her breast reduction will have on her career, but likely it’ll just parse down to a fraction even closer to zero.
By Jack October 16, 2013 @ 3:30 PM
Useless potato people Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are trying to conceive a baby. Wait, before you slit your wrists to opt out of the coming of the devil spawn they would produce, it’s not a real baby. It’s an aura baby. What in the name of holy fuck is an aura baby? Let’s let Heidi explain it via Twitter:
“An Aura Baby is a product of the soul born out of the bio-chemistry of the universe! #speidishow,”
Huh? What the fuck does that even mean? I know what the individual words mean but not what they mean put together. I’m down for any and all types of holistic crystal praying new age shit. Just so long as they don’t actually reproduce a carbon based life form in Heidi’s plasticine lady parts, we should all be safe from the brimstone.
By brendon September 16, 2010 @ 3:39 PM
Heidi Montag? On a date with her douchebag husband at the Santa Barbara Zoo yesterday? Kissing? But they said they were getting divorced! They even filed they paperwork!
Oh my goodness, so they were lying this whole time to get attention? Oh I can hardly believe it. I bet you see this in your local newspapers News Of The Weird column this week.
(source = pacific coast)
By brendon September 14, 2010 @ 5:58 PM
Now there are even more new pictures of Heidi Montag last week in Costa Rica, this time as she bravely tries surfing for the first time. It didn’t go very well for some unknowable reason, but now we have bikini pictures of a girl with big tits. “Even more bikini pictures”, I should say. If I were religious I’d say a prayer and give thanks for the plentiful bounty o’ this day.
(image source = pacific coast)