Hilaria Baldwin Soaks in the After Birth

Hilaria Baldwin posted a photo of herself in bra and panties moments after dropping Alec Baldwin's second half-Spanish half-bourbon baby onto the organic flax woven doula mat. I've seen addicted moms dig for the booze or recreational drugs not long after pushing the placenta out. They've been jonesing so hard. For Baldwin, it's been a week since was able to post half naked photos of her fecundbody. That's a lifetime...read more

Hilaria Baldwin Still Pregnant

Hilaria Baldwin will finally give birth in July and spare us the endless selfies of her third trimester. No word on whether she will be broadcasting the delivery live via NASA's feed or if we'll be treated to any photos of her stitched up perineum. Women will be the first to tell you how amazing this is. I once busted a nut that travelled twelve yards but you don't hear me bragging about it. If this is so amazing then...read more

Hilaria Baldwin Bonafide Woman

Hilaria Baldwin took some time off from talking about herself to talk about herself and her fucking baby whom she is raising to be a faith healing rapist. Baldwin posted a throwback photo of herself being pregnant in case you forgot that that and pretending to be Spanish are the only thing on her trophy wife resume. If child birth is such a miracle why are there six billion people on earth? Wait, what? Seven billion?...read more

Hilaria Baldwin Unclear Motivation

Alec Baldwin's weird attention seeking dubiously employed fake Spanish wife posted a photo of herself in lingerie with a baby inside her. I can't tell if I'm supposed to masturbate or salute her for letting an angry old man squirt inside her. More than likely Baldwin will receive undying praise from a gaggle of Instagramyentas dying to tell her how beautiful this is. Aren't these the same chicks who drive dog hair...read more

Hilaria Baldwin Is Game For Something

Alec Baldwin's pretend Spanish daughter wifeis kooky. So much so she posts photos of herself doing yoga around the house. She's not aloof enough not to know exactly what we're all thinking. Your bikini is mismatched. Let me fix it for you. Suchwould make her stupid. I refuse to believe Baldwin is porking a retard. More than likely she's a massive cock tease. Works out well when your husband used up all his fucks...read more

Hilaria Baldwin Slowly Killing Alec Baldwin

The idea of hooking up with a yoga instructor half your age seems like a great idea until you come to in a pumpkin patch with an a toddler and a frisky bitch insisting you yoga pose her with a banana in her mouth. It's not that older drunken sods don't need their whistle wetted. It's that they don't need this shit. The shit you put up with when you're a young and willing to act like a guy in a romantic comedy montage...read more

Hilaria Baldwin Has Tender Skills

I wish I had a granddad who told me raunchy shit like 'if you find a woman who can pin her legs behind ears, marry her'. Then maybe he'd give me five bucks to go get a nudie magazine and a pack of smokes to get my lungs tough from an early age. I didn't get that granddad. I got Satan's mortal combatant on earth. Far less fun that drunken dirty pappy. Now I'm left to wonder if all those untold locker room adages are...read more

Alec Baldwin Apologized To His Gay Friends

After last week's latest Twitter meltdown by Alec Baldwin, in which he called Daily Mail reporter George Stark a "toxic little queen" and threatened to shove his foot up his ass, it was only a matter of time before people started comparing the actor to Paula Deen. Baldwin went after Stark for writing that his wife, Hilaria Baldwin, had been texting at James Gandolfini's funeral, which they naturally denied, but...read more

Alec Baldwin Is Pretty Pissed At The Daily Mail

Alec Baldwin already quit Twitter once before because he was pissed off about something, so it shouldn't be a surprise that he quit Twitter again in another hilariously pissy rage. Except this time, it was his "Alec Baldwin Foundation" profile that was deleted, because nothing says, "Hey, we're good people doing good things" like threatening to shove your foot up a Daily Mail reporter's ass and calling him a "toxic...read more