Top fitness experts recommend hot dogs for breakfast, and it must be the key to how Hilary Duff has shed her unwanted sexiness for a more lumpy and waddling figure.  As you can see here when she met her mom for breakfast at Papoos hot dog stand in Toluca Lake yesterday.  Damn.  This chick used to be so cute.  Now she looks like she’s halfway through a sex change. 

(picture source = inf daily)



The Sun UK says that sweet little Hilary Duff got "randy" (as the Brits would say) the other night in a bar with her boyfriend, New York Islanders center Mike Comrie.  The Sun says:

Hilary Duffs fans were left shocked after witnessing the star performing a lap dance over the weekend.
The pretty actress treated her ice hockey star boyfriend to the saucy performance at exclusive New York hot spot Tenjune.
A partygoer said: "Hilary was having a wild night, drinking Veuve Clicquot straight out of the bottle.
"She looked nothing like the sweet little Lizzie Maguire she once was as she treated Mike to a series of raunchy lap dances."
"The place was packed but Hilary didn't mind."

You actually hear a lot of these stories about Hilary Duff.  I found out first hand when a bunch of us played Truth or Dare at a party one night.  I admitted I was born with both male and female genitalia, she admitted she likes giving lap dances.  In hindsight I think it was pretty rude that no one explained to me that the answers were supposed to be sexy.



Hilary Duff was at the Los Premios MTV Latin America Awards last night.  For some reason.  I don't know why.  Is she Latin?  Because she doesn't look Latin.  She looks like a Nordic ice fairy.  She should be the Snow Princess in some parade in Minnesota, not grinding her ass at some Latin awards show.  I asked a racist guy about it and he said, "The last time I saw a white girl surrounded by this many Latin guys she was being kidnapped."  And then he laughed.  I didn't get it. 

(with Nerdy McDoofus and the Dorktones playing backup)

Hilary Duff was filming some scenes for her movie "Greta" on the Jersey shore yesterday when apparently she got a little smacked around by some waves and had to be helped out.  And I think it's safe to say they overreacted.  Three people in wet suits for one 80 pound girl in four feet of water?  A dinosaur with guns could drag her into the ocean and I could rescue her with nothing but my cunning.  I would just do that cool thing where I strip down to my shorts and stick a knife in my mouth, then dive off the boat.  And an hour later I surface wearing the dinosaurs head as a hat. 

I don't know what lunatic decided Hilary Duff should go on "So You Think You Can Dance" last night and lip-sync her "hit" song that I've never heard of, but they should be fired immediately because Hilary Duff clearly can't dance. She just kinda stands there and points her arms in different directions. It's basically like watching a clock, only with way worse music. 

Hilary Duff hung out in Malibu yesterday for the Fourth of July, and basically just looked adorable the entire time.  She's so ridiculously cute I'm not sure I could even have sex with her.  It would be like having sex with a baby panda.  If she ever climbed into bed with me I would assume it was because she had a scary dream and then I'd get up and get her a glass of milk.