Hobby Lobby Won’t Pay for My Morning After Pills, Boo Fucking Hoo

By Lex July 01, 2014 @ 11:57 AM


I hate partisan politics. It always boils down to people ranting about shit they haven’t read or know little about before they start waving signs and making apocalyptic Facebook status updates. End of the world! Some chick who works at a art and crafts store might have to pay for her own morning after pills! Red alert! Fuck the blue planet! Mother Gaia, lightning bolt us now!

Hobby Lobby, which before this week I would’ve told you was the name of a fetish sex shop, turns out to be a bunch of picture framing and doodads stores run by a devoutly Christian family who detests abortion. They don’t hide their religious beliefs. They flaunt them. They buy ads in the paper under their name pushing Christ and salvation. They close their doors on Sundays just to honor their religious principles. Last I checked, people don’t have to work there, or shop there, or insert their IUDs in their employee restrooms. But women’s rights groups got super pissed when Hobby Lobby used a Clinton era law designed to allow workers some religious freedom in the office place to say they weren’t going to subsidize their employees denying life to their sperm fertilized eggs. Hobby Lobby still offered to pay for preventative birth control pills, just not the post conception stuff. The employees can still get all the contraceptives they want from the insurance company, Hobby Lobby just doesn’t want their family Jesus money paying for it. The Supreme Court said, yeah, that seems like a fair religious exception in the private workplace.

Now, angry women and the men who find joy in loving them who pushed for the government to make private companies responsible for worker healthcare and contraceptives are yelling about keeping their bosses out of their bedroom. Who did you think you was coming into your bedroom? Glynda, the good healthcare witch who’d carry free morning after pills and IUDs in a cute tote and have a Chamomile tea with you while you shared menstrual cramping stories? Everybody wants it both ways. The right, the left, the whatever. There doesn’t seem to be any self-reflection on the hypocrisy of it all.  It’s completely dishonest debate ramped up until shrill talking points and mantras. Maybe I’m just old enough to remember when you knocked a girl up and it was your problem. I’m so fucking ready for that lightning bolt. Bring it on.

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