TMZ has some video up today (HERE) showing Holly Madison outside of a club last night, talking to the paparazzi about nothing in particular, but then at the end she confirms that she is no longer dating Hugh Hefner. Which leaves me in the awkward position of attempting to brag about having an exclusive (THIS ONE) without sounding like a total self-serving fag. I almost wish she had said it wasn’t true, they were still together, that way I could just pretend I never said it. Like Perez does. In related news, a very pleased young lady confirmed last night that my penis is humongous.
So here’s the deal with all the stuff I get about the shenanigans behind "Girls Next Door": there are three people I talk too. Two of them on the Playboy side, one of them on the TV show side. None of them know each other, and yet they generally say the same things (the main difference being Kendra/Hank Baskett. Playboy side says she is engaged, TV side says they are dating but not engaged). But late last night I get an email from TV side that Holly has abruptly dumped Hugh Heffner, much to everyone’s amazement.
TV Side has said in the past that Holly was in it for the money and was looking around and flirting with other guys but was never expected to actually leave him. Over the last few weeks she has changed completely. She actually dumped Hef, face to face, last night. She has a condo in Santa Monica already and will be moving out of the mansion very soon.
Hef so far is taking the breakup well. And by that I mean he’s already stickin it to two new blond twins and they will move into the mansion in the coming weeks.
And good for him. That’s pretty much what I do after getting dumped too. Except, instead of having hot sex with young blond twins, I make a scarecrow of my ex and hang it from a tree with a knife in it and a note that says, YOU.
Kendra and Holly from "Girls Next Door" were at Foxtail last night of course, and something something something, Kendra kissed a girl. So if you were wondering if all hot girls secretly want to make out with other hot girls, then wonder no more, because of course they do. Every single girl wants it, all the time.
Okay so, in stark contrast to the last email I got about this, I just got another email from someone who works on the Girls Next Door, and she says the previous reports about Holly moving out and breaking up with Hef are 100 percent not true. She says Holly shot scenes for GND yesterday at the mansion and they have more planed tomorrow. She says Holly would never leave Hef because she has too much to lose, including her pretend job at the magazine and whatever future opportunities may come her way because of her profile as Hugh Heffner’s girlfriend.
To be honest I had a hard time believing that last story and a much easier time believing this one. It's not like Holly's dumb ass could get a real job. Here's her resume:
- I can and will lick an old mans balls
- I'm naked right now
Actually on second thought there’s like 800 producers she could work for. She should dump Hef immediately.
A sexy reader who works at the Playboy offices in LA emailed and said the rumor is that Holly Madison, as of last night, has officially broken up with Hugh Hefner and moved out of the mansion because she’s now dating Las Vegas magician Criss Angel. Her email said…
"God you’re so hot. All the Playmates wanna do you. Word around town is that your penis is humongous. Is true y/n?"
I’m paraphrasing of course because I don’t wanna get her in trouble, but she said Hef is fine with this. He doesn’t really care because now he won't have to be called "Puffin" every 5 minutes or nagged about marriage, and he already lined up this hot young POA as a replacement. The lingering question is, did Hef break up with Holly so she latched onto Angel, or did Criss steal her away? Criss of course is a powerful sorcerer, and his skills in magic are limited only by the imagination. And by the number of stagehands he has to move things while he stands in front of the camera.
