Mama June Has a Whale of A Time at The Beach

By Jack June 12, 2013 @ 12:36 PM

Jowl monster and childhood obesity promoter Mama June from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo splashed around on the beach like Pam Anderson in Baywatch. Let that sink in. The redneck matriarch of the family that is the death knell of Western Civilization was enjoying a day on Tybee Island in Georgia when she decided to do some posing. She started “running” down the beach carrying a red floatation device and making “sexy” faces just like Pam in the opening of the legendary T&A extravaganza. By running I mean slowly dragging her polysaturated shanks across the sand. At least she wasn’t wearing a bikini. That would’ve cause the Earth to stop rotating and shrieking demons to descend from the skies to slay the living.

 

Horny Bear Finally Married Mama June

By Travis May 06, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Like most good American relationships, June Shannon and Mike Thompson met online almost a decade ago, and shortly after they met up in person for some carefree, unprotected sex. Luckily for them, the result was Alana Thompson, AKA Honey Boo Boo Child, and just a few years later, they’d all be making millions of dollars for being one of the most beloved and loathed redneck families to grace our televisions.

Famously known as Mama June and Sugar Bear, Shannon and Thompson finally tied the knot yesterday at a small reception for friends and family in Georgia, and of course the cameras were rolling for the upcoming season of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Everyone in attendance was asked to wear either camouflage or hot pink, and despite their best efforts, no one showed up with shotgun and rifles.

June told People Magazine that the couple chose to keep the ceremony low-key because it was about “the focus on the family and my commitment to Sugar Bear”. And if they spent a lot of the wedding, they wouldn’t have enough money left to buy their matching El Caminos and lifetime supply of Mountain Dew.

(Photo Credit: Getty)

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Honey Boo Boo’s Mom Flaunts It Because She Has It

By Travis March 19, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Between Duck Dynasty, Hoarders and Teen Mom, there are plenty of shows on TV that embrace the charm and schadenfreude of America’s greatest white trash families, but none of them has held a candle to the Shannon/Thompson family of TLC’s Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. The titular child star rose to fame thanks to the exploitative and horrifying Toddlers & Tiaras, but her family’s “Fuck it” attitude and general redneckishness has made the entire caloric clan prominent, including June Shannon, AKA “Mama”.

While Madonna was busy earning her merit vadge in pretending to care at the GLAAD Awards this past weekend, June was also in attendance, apparently showing off her new body. Maybe it was standing behind her old body.

Wearing a fashionable long black wrap dress, the 33-year-old mom of four posed and pouted winsomely on the red carpet like a pro. Her hair, held back by a sparkly headband, was styled into soft curls and her lips were painted a bright pink.

The star, who has lost 102 pounds since filming for the show began two years ago, was in town because her show was one of the reality programs nominated for a positive portrayal of the LGBT community. (US Weekly)

Honey Boo Boo’s uncle is gay, which isn’t very surprising if you imagine that he walked in on his brother having sex with June. But good for her for losing that much weight and being unafraid to flaunt it at her age.

Wait, she’s only 33? Here’s to your next 102 pounds, June.

(Photo Credits: Getty)

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