Crystal Hefner Wasn’t In Hef's Will, But Still Cashing In

Hugh Hefner was more than just a man, he became a lifestyle. He was a pioneer in psuedo porn back when seeing a perky pair wasn’t so readily available as it is today with the internet.  read more

Hugh Hefner Dead, So Goes Fun

Hugh Hefner finally died. It's been one of those decade long slow walks to the grave that most people probably hope they get to experience. read more

Cooper Hefner Retroactively Embarrassed Over Trump Cover

It's not unusual for the sons of inheritance to believe they earnestly earned their professional stature. The alternative theory is too demeaning to consider. Though more ambitious men will intentionally not follow in their successful father's footsteps to avoid any... read more

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Playboy Bringing Back the Tits

Here's how the free market works better than millions of baristas and NBC executives hysterically sharing fake news stories on social media. Playboy pulled tits from their magazine, people who were still buying the magazine stopped buying it, they brought the tits back.... read more

Hugh Hefner Still Alive And Awful

If Hugh Hefner was in his prime right now he'd most likely be in jail for rape. Assuming he escaped the charges, he'd probably he a highly successful pariah. There's not much middle ground. Society arbitrarily selects a few privileged white dudes and R Kellys for the sake... read more

You Can Now Buy The Playboy Mansion And Shit Around The Web

The Playboy Mansion is for sale for only 200 million dollars. The catch is that Hugh Hefner gets to still live there until he dies. If I wanted a crusty old pervert hanging around my house I'd have my uncle Raul move in. He's a pain in the ass, but straight. Not enough... read more

Hugh Hefner's Son Disses Holly Madison

Hugh Hefner's ex fake girlfriend and reality show whore Holly Madison wrote a superbly uninteresting tell all book about life in the Playboy Mansion and is now spilling the mundane beans to any shitty tabloid who will listen. Some of her major revelations are that Hefner... read more

Hugh And Crystal Hefner Are Pretty Fucking Creepy

Somebody pulled the old man from his sarcophagus and dressed him up like Robin Thicke so that his young bride would finally look like she had a purpose for being bent over in a tight dress. The two of them together looked like a wax exhibit at the Boner Kill Museum. More... read more

The Captain Is Still at the Helm

I guess the good part about getting old is you start to forget shit more easily. Like, your signature magazine business is tanking or what seems like yesterday you were wearing a robe, smoking a pipe, and looking down to see Barbi Benton gobbling your knob. So that... read more

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Lindsays Playboy shoot will suck

Lindsay Lohan had an idea for the theme of her Playboy photo shoot and, as you probably guessed, it was dumb. She wanted the pictures to look like a "Kate Moss fashion inspired story," whatever the hell that means. But Hugh Hefner didn't like the resulting pictures so he... read more

Crystal Harris is a complete bitch

It's hardly surprising that a 25-year-old model had ulterior motives when she got engaged to an 85-year-old media baron, but what is surprising is how far Crystal Harris was planning to go when it came to using Hugh Hefner (who, as you can tell by what would have been... read more

Tuesday headlines, with the return of Blake Lively

TRACY MORGAN - was so upset that he cried during his interview with Russell Simmons, according to Simmons. Wait, he cried? Hahaha, no way! Just like a little fa... oh, umm... ne-never mind. (popeater) HUGH HEFNER - was supposed to get married to Playmate Crystal Harris... read more