Between yesterday and today, I'm starting to get the suspicion that porn movies lied to me about the secret life of lesbians.  Where are the co-eds who can't afford to repair their car?  Where are the cheerleaders helping their team celebrate the big win?  Where are the co-ed cheerleaders who can't afford to repair their car after the big win?  I was led to believe lesbians led secret lives of sexy passion, where looks of desire turned to an exotic journey of the flesh.  Not … this.  

They say lesbian parents are no more likely to raise gay kids than traditional parents, but if all these boys know about vagina is that it looks like Melissa Etherdige and her (kill me) lover, that kid is full blown gay.  Like how when kids get bit by a dog as a baby and then they hate dogs all their life.  This is like that, except that I'd rather have my dick in the mean bitey dog.  On the plus side, it seems Etheridge is a fan of Ohio State, while her girlfriend follows Michigan, so just imagine all the amazing conversation that must be had about that.

I love Gatecrasher and the New York Daily News but let me be clear that I don’t care at all about this story and it's only going up because it's a reason to post pictures of Cynthia Nixons hot ass girlfriend (pictured: the hottest woman in the world.  not pictured: my longing).

'Sex and the City's" Cynthia Nixon credits positive family role models with helping her children accept her decision to enter a lesbian relationship.
Until now, the actress has said little publicly about Christine Marinoni, the red-headed education activist she has been with since 2003. That year, Nixon separated from her boyfriend of 15 years, Danny Mozes, the father of her children Samantha, 11, and Charles, 6.
"I'm in a fantastic relationship. It's been about four years," Nixon, 41, said.
"I'm in love with [Christine] because she's her. If she were a man, would I be in love with her? I don't know. We shop and cook and raise children - we both pitch in."
Nixon says her children adapted well to the new arrangement.
"They were fine," she says of the coming out. "My son was very little [when it happened], but my daughter has a gay uncle [and her godmothers] are lesbians."

By the way, I looked it up, and if you masturbate to a picture of Christine Marinoni, it counts as Sexual Misconduct in 41 states.  In fact In Texas, they’ll shoot you.  And rightfully so.  Pervert.