Iggy Azalea And Nick Young Temporarily Regal

By Matt February 27, 2015 @ 8:28 AM

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Let’s say Iggy Azalea and Nick Young have $30 million between them and haven’t spent it all at Foot Locker or Sizzler. With their respective career paths of mediocre shot heist and albino rapper they should have full earning potential until next Boxing Day. Young apparently employs two people full time to take care of a separate house used to store his shoes. Their staff seems to be growing:

“He is very dirty, but it’s OK as we have a full-time housekeeper, we have to.”

Taxes and talent adjusted you can’t afford that. William Randolph Hearst literally made the news. You’ve got SUNY freshmen twerking to your one hit at the Beauty Bar. I can’t wait until these fuckers go bankrupt and start eBaying their diamond studded anal beads. I have a strict policy of avoiding reality TV but I’ll log onto AOL to catch that episode along with Azalea being rushed to the hospital because her ass is leaching into her body. I can’t wait until two years from now. I miss you both already.

Photo Credit: Instagram 

 

Iggy Azalea Unhappy Pants And Shit Around The Web

By Jack February 25, 2015 @ 12:00 PM

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Iggy Azalea is sad because people in the hip hop community don’t take her seriously. It’s probably mostly jealousy. Also she’s a twit. A combo really.

Read all about how hard Iggy’s life is. (Huffington Post)

There is nothing like a plethora of butts on a Wednesday afternoon. (The Chive)

Lais Lima shows off her naked tits because why not? (Egotastic)

Bruce Jenner will probably not be prosecuted because famous. (TMZ)

Selena Gomez has some mighty perty titties. (Drunken Stepfather)

Bella Thorne wears no bra and a tank top. (Hollywood Tuna)

Mayra Suarez in a bikini is a wonderful thing. (Popoholic)

Iggy Azalea Is a Quitter (And Possibly a Fat Ass)

By Lex February 19, 2015 @ 1:23 PM

Iggy Azalea Social Media
Iggy Azalea is the latest celebrity to ditch Twitter. She didn’t have a problem with the social media service being overrun with ISIS, she just didn’t like trolls ripping on the cellulite on her ass.

I just want to have peace and relaxation time without a perve with long distance lense hiding out taking pictures, everyone deserves peace.

First of all, I’m not a perve. I’m a photographic enthusiast. In a more civilized era, we were known as shutterbugs. Second, fuck you. You want to make fifty million off grinding your naked ass for the public and nobody’s allowed to comment? Or note the crevices that developed from you shooting wallaby fat sub-gluteal? Your ass is your living. It’s your Windows and you’re Microsoft. I’m commenting when it takes up a huge amount of space and doesn’t work right.

I feel the hatred and pettiness i see online at all times is at making me become an angry person and I cannot be that. To become nasty because of the way I feel i am treated would be a disservice to my fans and I promise i will try to keep smiling.

Oh, boo fucking hoo rapping Albino Jesus. You’re on Twitter for business, not to inspire positive energy. In fact, Azalea announced while she’s leaving Twitter, her ‘team’ is staying to post under her name. What? What happens when your public relations interns become nasty and petty? They can’t quit Twitter or they get fired. What about their ass cellulite? How will they keep smiling?

You know who announces they are leaving a party? The people you never wanted to come in the first place. Thanks, Iggy Azalea, your pettiness just ruined Chinese New Year.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Iggy Azalea Battles Pizza

By Matt February 10, 2015 @ 8:15 AM

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A guy who delivered Papa John’s to Iggy Azalea after the Grammy’s gave her personal phone number to his brother who began calling and texting her because he has horrible taste in music. Azalea contacted Papa John’s to try and identify the guy but they refused because they value the privacy of their stalker employees. Or that’s what they’re lawyers told them to say. So she went on a Twitter rant against Papa John’s. Really, that’s all your can do. Papa John’s says they are taking disciplinary action against the driver in the form of a high five and did you get any from that Aussie bitch? Azalea is threatening to use the processed cheese of other low end pizza delivery services to inject sub-gluteal to make her behind look scrumptious to men who mean to rail her hard and film it. Papa John’s is clearly in the wrong here, but people love pizza more than foreign albino rappers. Unless she’s got coupons to see two of her shows for $7.99, the tide will quickly turn against her.

Photo Credit: Twitter 

The Grammy’s Finally Stopped

By Lex February 09, 2015 @ 9:17 AM

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There’s that moment when you realize you’re watching Madonna with the Alvin Ailey rejected applicants prancing behind her and you just want to brush your Chucky doll’s hair and forget about the world for a while. Fuck me, Grammy’s. You got me again. That aging grandma matador, that funky looking Australian rapper who looked like the queen in an albino chess set, and Taylor Swift who climbed to the top of the Staples Center roof and dared the biplanes to shoot her down. Somewhere in there they passed out all the awards to that sensitive British dude who who looks like the boy who rescues his cousin who didn’t get invited to the prom. Then handed Beck some ginormous trophy just to remind everybody Grammy voters simply still aren’t comfortable with black people winning the big awards. When this Sia chick showed up with the twelve year old girl who’s mom she paid to let her be raped by Shia LaBeouf I knew it was time to switch to Downton Abbey. It’s amazing what feels manly after an hour of the Grammy’s.

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Photo credits: FameFlynet/Getty Images

Iggy Azalea Does Legal

By Matt January 13, 2015 @ 7:38 AM

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Iggy Azalea is suing the dude she used to bone for studio time because the self-titled Hefe Wine took some of her failed ebonics and put them on a CD he is selling without her consent. He claims he owns the rights to her music because thumping a white Australian rapper is all kinds of baggage. It’s widely assumed Azalea’s legal threats are hollow since Wine likely owns a Super 8 reel of her getting cornholed by Milli Vanilli, including the dead one. The judge sided with Iggy Azalea because she an ass sculpted to look like that baboon chick all the alpha males are fucking down in cage nine. Wine is probably going to continue doing this type of seedy parasitic shit until Azalea falls off the charts and agrees to sell the sex tape to Vivid and cash out. Check back in two weeks. Albinos are horrible with their money.