Irina Shayk Is Better At Selfies Than You

By Travis April 17, 2014 @ 12:00 PM

Technically this isn’t a selfie, but technically I don’t give a shit either way, because one day this world is going to end, and eventually a new alien species will arrive to repopulate Earth, and all they’ll find to learn about us will be a million photos of asshole teenagers holding their cameras away from their faces. But if more selfies looked like this one from model Irina Shayk, maybe I wouldn’t be so negative about the stupid trends that kids follow these days. All we need are a few rules, like guys can’t take selfies at all, and neither can unattractive girls or girls who make those stupid fucking duck faces. And for good measure, only girls who are 18 are older can take selfies. Sure, you can call this sexist and misogynistic, but I guarantee that everyone would eventually agree that selfies were 1,000% better.

Photo Credit: Irina Shayk Instagram

Irina Shayk in Lingerie

By Lex March 11, 2014 @ 6:23 PM

Irina Shayk Models Lingerie for 2014SS La Clover
I wonder if the Russians are angry that all their good looking women flee the country the second their breasts appear. I’m guessing in places like Somalia, when the next chick who looks like Iman comes along, the tribes gather together to fill a straw bowl full of dried starvation berries and shove her toward London or New York with a grateful heart. But Russians remain very proud of their empire, such as it stands. Did you see those opening ceremonies in Sochi? That’s big cock type strutting. I wonder if all this Russian aggression is just because they want their sexy women back. The ones they can screw with the lights on. Don’t tell me that theory doesn’t make more sense than anything you’ve heard yet on the news.

Photo Credit: La Clover

Irina Shayk Is Going to Be A Movie Star

By Lex March 10, 2014 @ 6:50 PM

Irina Shayk In Bikinis For March 2014 Beach Bunny Swimwear
Irina Shayk just filmed her debut role in the new Hercules movie. No, not that last one where Kellan Lutz said some stupid shit that made no sense and asked everybody to look at his nipples while he bathed in Perrier. This next horrible one where we once more pretend that Dwayne Johnson is an actor. Irina Shayk isn’t an actress, but she is pretty damn good looking so however horrible she is at playing Hercules wife won’t really matter. Maybe Brett Ratner will do with Hercules what he did to X-Men and we won’t have to see anymore of these films for several years. We really don’t need any more classical Greek inspired adventure movies. We have plenty of relatable modern day heroes like Congressmen and single moms and gay actors.

Photo Credit: Beach Bunny

Irina Shayk Is Old Enough to Be R. Kelly’s Girlfriend’s Mother

By Lex March 05, 2014 @ 5:25 PM

Irina Shayk Shows Off Her Butt With R Kelly In The Music Issue Of V Magazine
I guess when you’re 28, you’re a couple standard deviations outside the target range for a classic R. Kelly wet rape. That or looking like Lady Gaga seems to give you a free pass for steamy sexualized videos with Kelly without fear of him whipping out the video camera and urging you not to tell your mom anything if you still want that gold bracelet. At some point, you might think women would stop agreeing to be party to these kinds of photos with a guy who likes underaged girls with the full passion of his being, but, fat paychecks do help those annoying moral equivocations solve themselves but quickly.

Photo Credit: V Magazine

Irina Shayk Posts Bikini Photos To Instagram On The Beach In Mexico

By Lex March 01, 2014 @ 3:20 AM

Irina Shayk Posts Bikini Photos To Instagram On The Beach In Mexico

Photo Credit: Irina Shayk/Instagram

Irina Shayk Tries to Save the Olympics

By Lex February 05, 2014 @ 4:09 PM

Irina Shayk Covers Herself In Olympic Gear On Instagram
The Winter Olympics in Sochi already suck. Independent of crappy Russian plumbing and the Muslim terrorists and the mass slaughter of canines, it’s the fucking Winter Olympics. It’s a series of sports made up by rich Swiss kids in the 1700′s because it was too fucking snowy to kick the sheep’s bladder around like their British friends. Until they add artillery pieces to the bobsled and make it blast yetis out of its path it’s just a pale imitation of the imitation Matterhorn. Even Obama’s grand plan to airdrop gays onto Sochi seems played out at this point. And I’m a man who loves a good gay airdrop. Can Irina Shayk’s tits save the Winter Olympics? Strap her naked on a luge and let’s find out. I’d watch Bob Costas wax poetic about that by the fireplace.

Photo Credit: Irina Shayk/Instagram