Jaclyn Swedberg Gets On All Fours for 138 Water

By Lex December 17, 2013 @ 1:40 PM

Jaclyn Swedberg Poses In A Bikini For A 138 Water Commercial Photoshoot
I thought NSA bulk data collection helped to rid the planet of these 138 Water interplanetary soul suckers, but apparently, we traded liberty for zero security as these bastards continue to probe the anii of our domestic lady folk. When the war is over and there’s nothing left but the vendetta trials, girls like Jaclyn Swedberg will claim ignorance to their role in the invasion. We will believe them, because test results will confirm their ignorance, but also because we think we have an outside chance of sleeping with them. That’s the most sinister part about this.

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Will You Remember the World Before 138 Water?

By Lex November 27, 2013 @ 6:11 PM

That’s not just anybody hoisting the first case of 138 Water, that’s actress Cara Santana who you’ve never heard of. That’s how this 138 conspiracy is going to unfold. Chicks in hats and sunglasses who once appeared in Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3 will be distributing the unholy water contents throughout major urban cities. You drink the water and you don’t just die, you become the fashionably hydrated undead. You’ll also be broke. Which in L.A. means you’ll have a harder time getting laid that if you were a zombie.

Even as apocalyptic rollout begins, models with big tits like Jaclyn Swedberg are still being photographed for the lithographed shrouds The 138 will use to encase the forsaken.

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Jaclyn Swedberg Down to Just Panties for 138 Water

By Lex November 19, 2013 @ 4:22 PM

Jaclyn Swedberg Poses In Lingerie For A Commercial Photoshoot In Hollywood
I don’t know what to say at this point. Drink their non-existent water. Don’t drink it. I just want to stare into the ass crack of Jaclyn Swedberg which serves as a Stargate into a parallel universe where bloggers have a ruddy complexion and are successful with the ladies. Though it’s possible that Stargate is just a skid mark.

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Jaclyn Swedberg Falls for the 138 Water Ruse

By Lex November 08, 2013 @ 4:22 PM

Jaclyn Swedberg Poses In A Bikini For A Commercial Photoshoot In Universal City
Here, girl, hold up this bottle and smile. Oh, yes, for sure, this water is going to be the bomb. Everybody will be drinking this stuff in big Hollywood meetings and at fancy Beverly Hills parties. You’re going to be famous. Now stop asking so many questions and show us more tit.

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Playmate Jaclyn Swedberg In A Bikini

By Lex September 24, 2013 @ 3:34 PM

Playmate Jaclyn Swedberg Poses In A Bikini For A Photoshoot On The Beach In Venice CA
Where do women learn to pose like this? I can barely manufacture a basic smile for a photograph. I feel awkward and always end up looking like a jackass in a Kinko’s sample brochure. Are these chicks going to some kind of posing camp? Can I get a job there teaching canoeing? Anybody who says all a woman needs to be successful is a nice pair of tits doesn’t know the half of it. I mean, they don’t know the other half of it. That nice tits part is definitely the first half.

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Playmate Jaclyn Swedberg Does A Photoshoot On The Beach

By Lex September 04, 2013 @ 6:28 PM

Jaclyn Swedberg Has A Sexy Photoshoot On The Beach In Santa Monica
Jaclyn Swedberg is the kind of girl at a party who every guy lies to about what he does. For instance, instead of semi-employed blogger and bottle recycler, I’d tell her I’m an animal trainer. And when she asks me what kind of animals, I’ll blurt out that I want to have sex with her really really badly. I’m horrible with cover stories.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet