By Matt August 04, 2015 @ 8:30 AM
Gay Will Smith and his lesbian wife are not getting a divorce because they’re probably not actually married plus that would be a huge hassle. Namely Scientology has enough on their plate without another character assassination. Smith took to Twitter and said about twelve things that straight guys don’t:
“Under normal circumstances, I don’t usually respond to foolishness. (Because it’s contagious) But, so many people have extended me their “deepest condolences” that I figured – “What the hell… I can be foolish, too!” So, in the interest of redundant, repetitious, over & over-again-ness… Jada and I are… NOT GETTING A DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!! : -) I promise you all – if I ever decide to divorce my Queen – I SWEAR I’ll tell you myself! #Dumb People Should Have to Wear Scarlet D’s”
There are a few rules in life, namely you don’t have longer hair than your wife. Also she’s not a queen but you are. I don’t know what Scarlet D means but I also don’t frequent The Manhole in the Castro while wearing a bad hat I just bought at the gas station. Keep writing those checks to Miscavige. #dumb #closet.
Photo Credit: Twitter
By brendon August 24, 2011 @ 4:50 PM
As you no doubt heard, the new issue of In Touch came out yesterday and claimed that Will Smith and Jada Pinkett were separating after 13 years of marriage. Will and Jada quickly issued the worlds least convincing denial, but if they had known what the article actually said (via Gossip Cop), they probably wouldn’t have even bothered.
The magazine alleges that Jada “destroyed” Anthony’s marriage to Jennifer Lopez (as well as her own) by sneaking around with Anthony behind her husband’s back.
Will supposedly uncovered her “ultimate betrayal” when he caught Jada with Anthony (her “HawthoRNe” co-star) in the Smiths’ Hidden Hills mansion.
Smith’s “suspicions” were “painfully confirmed” when he came to the house unannounced “under the cover of darkness” … Smith “left the house crying” and was “very upset” because Anthony was supposedly inside with Jada.
The following day “it was as if all hell had broken loose” with Jada moving some of her belongings out of the couple’s home and Will allegedly firing staffers he suspected of “covering up” for her.
Oohh, yeah, yeah, and after that JLo and Jada wrestled and fell into the pool at the country club, while Willow fell deeper under the spell of the schools new bad boy Jericho Hawk, and other insane shit that only happens on General Hospital.
By brendon August 23, 2011 @ 6:08 PM
LADY GAGA – will play herself on ‘The Simpsons’, “to cheer up a dejected Lisa through the power of speech, song, and a flash mob.” The message being: if you’re feeling low, try annoying the hell out of people. (ew)
WILL SMITH AND JADA PINKETT – were reportedly broken up, but this morning Wills son Trey tweeted that it wasn’t true, and now they’ve issued a statement saying, “Although we are reluctant to respond to these types of press reports, the rumors circulating about our relationship are completely false. We are still together, and our marriage is intact.” Oohh. “Intact”. What a romantic word. I guess things really are going great. “My wife is very suitable”, Will went on to explain. (twitter, access hollywood)
MEGAN FOX – confirmed that she’s having the tattoo on her forearm of Marilyn Monroe removed, saying, “She was a negative person, she was disturbed, bipolar. I do not want to attract this kind of negative energy in my life.” Oh relax Megan. It’s not Ed Gein for Christs sake. (us)
BEN AFFLECK AND JENNIFER GARNER – are expecting their third child to go along with their daughters Violet, 5, and Seraphina, 2. No word yet on if its a boy or a girl, or what stripper/wish granting cartoon mouse they’ll name them after. (people)
By brendon August 23, 2011 @ 1:58 PM
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett are on the cover of the current ‘Architectural Digest‘ with their adorably cliché Hollywood family, and although they look happy, the new In Touch says it’s a photo shoot of lies!
After 13 years of marriage, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have decided to separate, an insider tells In Touch Weekly exclusively. They have two children, Jaden and Willow, together. And Jada is stepmother to Will’s son, Trey, from a previous marriage.
But both Us.com and TMZ have denials from sources who say the In Touch story is a complete fabrication and that Will and Jada are still very much together. So what’s the truth? None of your god dammed business! Butt out! I’ll ask the questions around here!
KATIE HOLMES – taped a guest appearance on So You Think You Can Dance yesterday, and yes she will be dancing. In fact a source said: “She is killing it. She looks incredible. Everyone is absolutely floored by how talented she is.” Then the source was asked his name, and he said, “Tom, wait, um, yes, T-Tom … Cru … Crew … Sing … Ton … Berg. Tom Crusingtonberg. Yes, yes that will do.” (source = us)
WILL SMITH – and his wife Jada often sneak off during parties or pull over on the side of the road to have sex. Well big deal so do I. Wait. Oh they probably mean with a partner. Never mind. I’m so lonely! (source – imdb)
MEGAN FOX – was photographed topless on the set of Jennifers Body in May of last year, so I have no idea why the always great Daily News is making a big deal out of that today, but as it turns out I also don’t care. Look, tits! (source = new york daily news)