All Hell Broke Loose At Justin Bieber’s Movie Premiere

By Travis December 20, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Justin Bieber and his crew of nobodies and hanger-ons walked the red carpet for the premiere of his new documentary, Believe, in Los Angeles last night, and naturally the theater was stormed by a mob of his insane teenage fans. Fortunately, no one was reportedly hurt, from Bieber and Usher to the Kardashian girl who is still underage but awkwardly showed off her leg and Jaden Smith’s fly-catching mouth, but it still must have been a scary experience for Bieber, because I assume that he’s stoned out of his mind 24/7. Fortunately, none of this will happen when he finally retires next week, at least until he reveals he’s full of shit by announcing his new album in the spring.

Photo Credits: RHS/Apega/FayesVision/

Jaden Smith Wants All The Boys To Wear Dresses

By Travis October 14, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Because Jaden Smith is so edgy and brilliant and independent (thanks to his father’s large fortune and willingness to buy his kids whatever they want), the 15-year old recently decided to launch his own clothing line, because what else do you do when you don’t really have any talent? According to the Daily Mail, Jaden’s MSFTS clothing line includes the above long hoodie/skirt with leggings that he wore out in Los Angeles on Saturday night, because any kid whose parents aren’t sitting on 9 figures certainly won’t get their asses kicked when they show up to school wearing a dress.

What’s interesting, though, is that the above image is from the Teen Vogue Young Hollywood party on September 27, so it’s kind of fun to think that Jaden has to wear the same outfit because his family is bankrupt and homeless now.

(Photo Credit: Getty)

Does Jaden Smith Ever Close His Mouth?

By Travis October 07, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

I know it’s not really nice to make fun of a teenage kid for saying stupid things or acting like a jackass because that’s what teenage kids are supposed to do, but Jaden Smith is just too hard to ignore. Between his awful movies and even worse opinions on school, it’s pretty easy to just want to pick this kid up by his feet and shake him until every last penny of self-entitlement falls out of his pocket. But then you look at pictures of him, and in every single one he looks like he just saw his first pair of tits, and it’s almost impossible to not strangle anyone in your presence. Oh well, we’ll only have to deal with him for like, what? Seventy more years? Should be easy.

(Photo Credits: Michael Wright/

After Earth Sucked, Now What?

By Lex June 04, 2013 @ 3:25 PM

When I turned fourteen, my dad got me a baseball glove. He said it was new, but it had the name ‘Chet’ written on the back of it in Magic Marker. I pointed that out to my dad at which point he grabbed the glove out of my hands, slapped it across my head, and screamed at me that he didn’t have a second secret family. Birthdays always sucked in my home. Will Smith is much kinder to his kids. Maybe it’s the Scientology or just the kindness bug, but he bought his kid Jaden a $150 million movie to fuck with. It’s got to be hard for such a successful dad in that moment you realize your kid is not talented. And not like your famous showbiz kid can switch gears and go into accounting or run a Fluff ‘n Fold. He’s going to be in front of the camera somewhere and he’s going to embarrass the shit out of you. Fucking Chet.

Yeah, Jaden Smith Is An Adult

By Travis May 30, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Jaden Smith is 14-years old, but he has a ton of money that he earned because his father, Will Smith, buys him movie franchises like The Karate Kid to keep him happy in between dropping Kidz Bop rap albums. Because of that money, Jaden thinks that he should be emancipated from his parents and be considered an adult, so he can run around and do whatever the fuck he wants and not have to answer for it. Really, it’s the American dream.

Jaden gave us a good glimpse of “adulthood” yesterday as he went shopping for an Iron Man costume with Kylie Jenner, and then he wore it to lunch at Nobu in New York City. And it’s not even a good Iron Man costume. It’s the kind that middle class kids wear on Halloween. This kid doesn’t deserve all of that wealth, which is why the Kardashians have most likely locked in on him.

(Photo Credit: GSNY/Splash News)

Jaden Smith Eats Cut Rolls with Kylie Jenner

By Bill March 04, 2013 @ 1:57 PM

You can be cynical and suggest that this sushi date in London over the weekend between Will Smith’s son and Kylie Jenner, the youngest of the Kardashian skeeve sisters, was nothing more than a trumped up, carefully calculated, publicity stunt. But, being a romantic, I like to think Jaden asked Kylie out for more old-fashioned reasons — the Kardashian girls give it up big time for famous black dudes.