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Jaden Smith Hetero Normative

Jaden Smith has taken every opportunity to remind the world that he's not gay, just insufferable. He brings that older non-working model chick with him to all the experiential field trips he takes in lieu of attending school. I wear skirts, but I'm fucking this good looking chick. In your face labelers. Some teen urges supersede feelings of self-importance and arrogance. Coachella was magical. I wrote a short poem...read more

Jaden Smith Turned Out Well

Jaden Smith was announced as the new face of Louis Vuitton womenswear. Will Smith laughed his famous self-deprecating laugh and declared that perhaps he and the missushad been too lax with the boy. No shit. WillSmith was broughtup Catholic in working-class West Philadelphia and it drove him to become a top selling rap artist, TV actor, and movie stardespite churning out largely mediocreproduct.Why not raise your kids...read more

Jaden Smith Has a Felonious Girlfriend

Jaden Smith was hanging around the Art Basel scene in Miami just so you'd remember to reflexively hate European traveling art shows. His scientology school has breaks in early December so he's been on one since December 2009. He was also showing off his new girlfriend, Sarah Snyder, who looks twelve, but she's older and recently arrested for grand larceny. She snatched a handbag worth more than Bryan Singer hush money...read more

Jaden Smith Can't Disappear Fast Enough

Jaden Smith announced he's going to disappear from the landscape within ten year's time. It's unclear what he intends to do with ten years of down time before his departure, but probably lots of skateboardingand naps.You don't just give up not going to school or working without some serious planning. No one will know where I am in 10years. They'll see me pop up, but they'll be like, ‘Where'd you come from?' No one...read more

Jaden Smith Seems to Be Asking for Help

Jaden Smith is troubled. Not the kind of troubled where you shoot up a bible study group. More the kind where you incorrectly quote Nietzscheand step off the roof of a Marie Callender's and survive with two broken legs. It's easy to mistake the ramblings of a teen boy with indulgent open marriage wealthycelebrity scientology parents as not traditional cuckoo, but the cracks are in the details. The desire to wear...read more

Jaden Smith Still Searching And Shit Around The Web

If you've ever wondered what it would be like to have incredibly indulgent parents and a childhood where you were completely protected from bullies and ass-kickers of any kind, meet Jaden Smith. Jaden's in the news today because he wore a Batman suit to the prom with the more shocking news being that he attends a school and he took a girl. Check out Jaden as the dynamic douche. (Huffington Post) Bruna Gonclaves' naked...read more

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Jaden Smith Appropriates Tranny Culture

It's amazing what people choose to do when they can do whatever the fuck they want. DiCaprio wears a ponytail and fucks the snot out of hot young women. So does Cara Delevingne. Alec Baldwin calls people faggots then cleans up nicely for GLAAD tolerance awards. Jaden Smith has decided to wear dresses since his junior moron rants on social media stopped trending. Let Jaden Smith be the omen of what is to come as we rid...read more

Jaden Smith Doesn't Believe In Gender

The expansive unlimited crystal powered creative space of Jaden Smith is not limited by binary thinking. Much like David Bowie, Mick Jagger, Jared Leto, Kanye West and other boundary pushing musicians, Jaden Smith has begun experimenting with androgynous styles and wearing women's clothes. These other dress wearing musicians actually created popular music as opposed to merely being a spoiled teen from Hidden Hills who...read more

Will Smith's Kids Need a Dwight Howard Buckling

Being raised by undercover Scientologists with an open marriage, a boatload of cash, and a belief that a typical upbringing will hinder the blossoming of your Xenu blessed offspring is bound to backfire mightily. In the case of Willow and Jaden Smith it has manifested itself into two teen beatniks who spit out bad poetry and cult physics via Twitter and unnecessarily high profile magazine interviewspurposely designed...read more

Jaden Smith Wears A White Batman Suit To Kim And Kanye's Wedding

This weekend I had the privilege to watch a butcher at an international market carve up pork uterus into easy home cooking portions. Now I can forever more say shit like, yeah, that's horrible, but not as bad as watching a guy slice up a pig's uterus. Like this photo of Jaden Smith in the white batman costume he felt compelled to wear to Kim and Kanye's wedding. It's unclear why Jaden likes to be seen in public in...read more

Jaden Smith and Kylie Jenner Are The Face of Domestic Terrorism

Think of Kylie Jenner, and the Will Smith dunderhead kids and this Moises Arias bratpack leader as those for whom Scientology and Instagram just ins't providing answers to key questions such as Why Am I Here, Am I In Control of My Destiny, and Why Does My Sister Get the Mercedes While I Get Stuck With the Range Rover.Apparently, these kids are so thirsty for the kind of knowledge you can't get in a stupid school...read more

Willow Smith Is Growing Up So Fast

Today seems like a good day to get to know a young actor who all the kids have already been slightly aware of for years. Moises Arias is a former star of Hannah Montana and a few other shows and movies that you might have heard of, but he's also well known as the 20-year old guy who is always hanging out with 15-year old Jaden Smith and the teenage Jenner sisters. Now he's also going to be known to some as the 20-year...read more

All Hell Broke Loose At Justin Bieber's Movie Premiere

Justin Bieber and his crew of nobodies and hanger-ons walked the red carpet for the premiere of his new documentary, Believe, in Los Angeles last night, and naturally the theater was stormed by a mob of his insane teenage fans. Fortunately, no one was reportedly hurt, from Bieber and Usher to the Kardashian girl who is still underage but awkwardly showed off her leg and Jaden Smith's fly-catching mouth, but it still...read more

Jaden Smith Wants All The Boys To Wear Dresses

Because Jaden Smith is so edgy and brilliant and independent (thanks to his father's large fortune and willingness to buy his kids whatever they want), the 15-year old recently decided to launch his own clothing line, because what else do you do when you don't really have any talent? According to the Daily Mail, Jaden's MSFTS clothing line includes the above long hoodie/skirt with leggings that he wore out in Los...read more

Does Jaden Smith Ever Close His Mouth?

I know it's not really nice to make fun of a teenage kid for saying stupid things or acting like a jackass because that's what teenage kids are supposed to do, but Jaden Smith is just too hard to ignore. Between his awful movies and even worse opinions on school, it's pretty easy to just want to pick this kid up by his feet and shake him until every last penny of self-entitlement falls out of his pocket. But then you...read more