Jaime King Watered Down Shit

By Matt March 18, 2015 @ 6:35 AM


Pregnant blowhard actress Jaime King went on an Instagram rant about the evils of Fiji brand water in which she failed to mention herself as part of the problem since another photo on her account shows she totes it around with her:

“I’m sure the people of Fiji would like Fiji water too but unfortunately they can’t have any because some big business decided that they now own the water in Fiji. But hey ho, keep paying top dollar for those bottles of water, as long as oppression is it on your door step, am i right?”

Ironically King appears to disapprove of the ignorant douchebags who are mean or dumb enough to buy Fiji water. Either that or she’s in favor of oppressing natives and is talking with her pocket book. The masses should indeed avoid Fiji while King pours it into her jacuzzi and flushes her taint with it. King continued her self righteous bullshit which could be heard well into the night on that floating plastic island in the Pacific she sheds tears over:

“Oppression is not at my doorstep… (Ironically, I grew up with my father taking care of the tenements and section 8 housing, collecting quarters out of washing machines and cleaning broken toilets) there are many forms of oppression. Physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and beyond. These things are immeasurable as they are relative to one’s life experiences.”

Tell me to save gas and fly on a private jet. Cry about the dolphins and pop a can of Bumble Bee. If you were a dude you’d have no friends. The indigenous people are thirsty. Row over there in a long boat and bring them their water back, you righteous twat.

Photo Credit: Instagram 

Taylor Swift Claims Jaime King’s Unborn

By Lex March 03, 2015 @ 12:25 PM

Taylor Swift Named Godmother to Jaime Kings Spawn LB
Jaime King suffered three hundred and forty seven miscarriages to bring her latest baby to fruition. One could take the gestational hardship as a sign that it was time to click out to MalawiBabiesNow.com. Or that Taylor Swift would come to lay hands upon her unborn child and announce the Dark Lord of Allentown Adjacent was pleased indeed. King and Swift announced on Instagram that Swift would be named godmother and false humility coach to King’s soon to be baby boy. Tyler Perry already snatched up Oprah so if you’re looking for the $200 million in the bank club, you’re down to Taylor Swift or Shelly Sterling, and Shelly Sterling can’t turn the Hokey Pokey with different words into a platinum selling single.

Photo Credit: Instagram/WWTDD Archives

Jessica Alba Made Another Movie

By Lex August 20, 2014 @ 2:24 PM

Jaime King And Jessica Alba At The Premiere For 'Sin City- A Dame To Kill For' In Hollywood
Jessica Alba has been telling everybody who will listen and owns a ladies magazine that she’s finally become confident with her own sexuality. I too am finally confident with her sexuality. I bet the journey was more rigorous for her. In honor of our mutual desire to touch her repeatedly in her privates, I’m inviting a half-dozen Northeastern liberal arts college girls to watch the women in Sin City 2 portray empowered devious strippers who get beaten and screwed and maybe find strong men to stick up for them. We’ll all have a good laugh after the film as feminists draw me into the alley way for an emasculating assault.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Pacific Coast News, Getty

Jaime King In A Red And White Swimsuit At The Beach In Maui

By Lex June 18, 2014 @ 1:25 PM

Jaime King In A Red And White Swimsuit At The Beach In Maui

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Jaime King In A Swimsuit At The Beach In Maui

By Lex June 17, 2014 @ 12:30 PM

Jaime King In A Swimsuit At The Beach In Maui

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Jaime King was in a bikini

By brendon June 13, 2011 @ 7:45 AM


Jaime King was in Miami over the weekend with her husband, producer Kyle Newman, and uhh… hm. It’s weird. Remember when she was a top supermodel and a fairly popular actress? What the hell was that all about?

(image source = inf)