08.27.2007 JAKE GYLLNMLLHAALYLL HAS A SECRET

Put your coffee down and buckle the fuck up, because this news is gonna shake you to the core. Ex-Hollywood publicist Jonathon Jaxson says Jake Gyllenhaal might be gay. Oh, I know, I couldn't believe it either. But I guess what is news is that Jake is set to come out and he wants to have kids with boyfriend. JJ says:

Jake Gyllenhaal has been dating the same guy for years. Last year Jake and his bf were arrested and brought into the West Hollywood station after the sheriffs office was called after catching Jake and his bf having sex in an SUV behind the restaurant Chin Chins in LA. Both were later released.
Jake has been dating this guy for years, even before he broke up with Kirsten Dunst. Kirsten Dunst found out about his bf and confronted him at Chateau Marmont. The confrontation was loud and they broke up right there. News of their break-up followed a few days later. Jake and his bf are currently expecting a baby through a surrogate. They used a company based in Westwood, CA. The baby is due in September.

If true, this could be the most shocking story of 2003. I almost dropped my Pepsi Blue I was so surprised.

Tags: jake gyllenhaal |

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08.18.2007 PHILLIPPE DOESN’T WANT KIDS TO CATCH THE GAY

Ryan Phillippe (and so help me God, if you ever pronounce it "FILL-uh-pay" in my presence I will wang you right in the ding dong) reportedly isn't happy about ex-wife Reese Witheredpoon boning Jake Gyllenhaal.

“Ryan is pissed about Jake,” a Phillippe insider tells Us Weekly, adding that Phillippe, 32, told Witherspoon, 31, “he didn’t want ‘that guy’ around their kids [son Deacon, 3, and daughter Ava, 7] and then made some crude Brokeback Mountain remark.”

I don't blame him. I read in National Geographic that 86% of all gay is transmitted by father figures who acted like a gay in a movie one time. You wouldn't want the kids to catch that. I mean, no one wants gay kids.

Ryan Phillippe is a man's man.

Tags: jake gyllenhaal, reese witherspoon, ryan phillippe, the gay |

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01.25.2007 STUFF FROM ALL OVER

F-KEDS PRODUCER IS DEAD - Music producer Disco D (real name David Shayman) committed suicide on Tuesday. D was found dead inside his New York home. He was 27. D mixed beats for 50 Cent, Trick Daddy and Nia Sky, as well as commercials for Spite and Best Buy, but may be most famous as the producer for the Kevin Federline single "Popozao". Friends and family have asked for privacy. Everyone who ever heard "Popozao" have asked for D to be resuscitated so he can kill himself again.

(special thanks to everyone who wrote in pointing out how nicely KFed turns into FKed)

LINDSAY LOHAN IS ASKING FOR TROUBLE - After her appendix was removed two weeks ago, Lindsay Lohan was so worried it would end up being sold on eBay, she pleaded with doctors to let her keep it. They agreed and Lindsay's appendix is now in her freezer. The freezer where she keeps food. Lindsay Lohan. Who is drunk or high or drunk and high 8 nights a week. Yeah, what could possibly go wrong.

JAKE GYLLENHALL WANTS KIDS - Jake Gyllenhaal tells GQ that he's been thinking about starting a family, but first needs to find the right woman.

"I'm definitely thinking about (children). Look, the most important job for a man is to find the right woman. It's the best we can do. I thank my father for choosing my mother. She's wonderful in so many ways. And she chose well, too. I've noticed in life that the mother, first, has a primary job – and as a father, your job is to pick a caring, smart, mindful woman."

Then Jakes assistant got a confused look, and leaned over to whisper something in Jakes ear. And Jake said, "Wait, I stick my what in her what?!? No, no, that can't be right. Oh my god, ewww, ew, ew, ew gross…"